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I can understand the question. I grew up with a friend that viewed cemeteries as sacred ground and culturally only spiritual leaders visited burial areas (families would hold funerals at home before allowing the church to bury privately).
Other cultures like my own which is a blend of European/Caribbean look at cemeteries as places the living can intermingle with the past. For some the cemetery is a spiritual and religious place (hence why some churches won't bury someone outside their belief system). You go to reflect and find peace as you won't be bothered. Basically an outdoor silent church.
People that are part of the Gothic lifestyle do so as a way to draw connections and inspiration between life and death. It's mainly viewed as a rebellious phase that a lot of teenages go through; they usually have encountered death in their lives and it's a big thing that most kids don't even think about until they're a teen. It's a way for them to face their fears and take control of their life.
I wasn't goth but I liked going to the cemetery with my friends and siblings. We would walk around looking at the old headstones or listen to music. At least she wasn't one of the kind of kids that tipped headstones or such.
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I'm a cemetery buff. There is something so abidingly peaceful about a cemetery - especially an old, largely untended one, that draw me in. I have several friends who are also into cemeteries, and we've gone out together before or have texted each other pics of especially interesting tombstones.
If I'm on the road traveling by myself, I'll often pull off and eat my packed lunch in a quiet cemetery.
As long as she's not performing satanic rituals or destroying graves, I'd say she's got a lot of company.
Normal ? Are you sure ? I repeat...in the evening they went to eat burgers and pizza to the cemetery.
It really is just teenage goth behavior. It's "normal" for that group of kids. Half the point of it is to appear "unconventional" (which is odd, when they all dress alike ) and annoy parents and very straight-laced people. It's harmless. Most outgrow it, though I have some younger friends in their 40s who are still into it, partly because of bands they play in that cater to that musical taste.
I don't generally follow or quote Dr. Phil, but this time I think he got it right.
"“Something is normal if it does not interfere with healthy functioning and pursuit of goals,” Dr. Phil says. “Abnormal interferes with healthy functioning and pursuit of goals.”"
Not everyone who visits cemeteries is unhealthy. Thomas Gray, well-known English poet wrote one of the best known English poems in one. "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard."
And when this subject comes up I am always reminded of John Neihardt, Poet Laureate of Nebraska, Black Elk Speaks, who got his inspiration by sitting in the churchyard. The locals thought he was twisted but he said it was the only place quiet enough to receive inspiration.
And we have our neighbors to the south in Mexico who pack family lunches and spend The Day of the Dead in their decorated cemeteries with their loved ones.
My next door neighbor and I take turns each year planning an outing to a different pioneer cemetery. We always learn a little new history, speculate about those who rest there and then have a bite of lunch before we come home again.
Goth kids, I dunno. They like to push the envelope but I suspect they are among the more sensitive of their peers and searching for a spot to fit in. The first "Goths" I'm aware of were all writers and poets - George Gordon, Lord Byron, Mary Shelley, Percy Byshe Shelley and company hiding away in a gloomy old castle in Switzerland during "The Year Without a Summer." Scaring each other witless with tales of death and the macabre.
My guess is that she's trying on a hat and if she finds one which suits her better she'll make a change.
I was seeing a girl for a while, she seemed good to me at first, but I found out about some weird things she was doing. When she was 15 years old, she had company among them and her boyfriend, they listened to heavy metal music, they love tattoos and piercings, they always wore black clothes, and now the most bizarre thing ... in the evening they went to eat burgers and pizza to the cemetery. I have heard and seen all kinds of madness and disease in my life, but never something like that. What do you people think? Do you know of similar cases? Can a mentally stable person do something like that ?
Short answer: probably no.
Longer answer, a series of questions and observations to make:
"Tell me about your family life, what role did your father play in your upbringing."
"interesting all the tattoos, odd to me when people draw all over themselves (women especially). Bumper stickers on a Lamborghini, huh? What is the driver behind the self-mutilation."
Beware the unhappy, unlucky, and those making a series of poor decisions in life.
Bi-polar, BPD are total relationship train wrecks...if applicable in this case.
We are the average of our five closest confidants; choose yours wisely.
OTOH, young people do exploratory things. I did dumb stuff like hang out drinking at the fish hatchery (theoretically trespassing) when in college, running around drunk to a limited extent, etc. Didn't cause any serious trouble, not my style then or now. Sometimes people veer into the criminal due to ignorance or life inexperience. Drinking and substances can be part of that as well; I don't take it all that seriously in young people. YMMV based on moral code and etc.
It dawned on me recently I was drawn to a BPD girl in my early 30s...because she was BPD an "exciting." Playing Captain Save-a-(garden implement). The juice isn't worth the squeeze, I did figure it out in a number of months but it can be a bumpy ride until that light bulb goes on over your head.
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) and annoy parents and very straight-laced people. It's harmless. Most outgrow it, though I have some younger friends in their 40s who are still into it, partly because of bands they play in that cater to that musical taste.
