Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't generally follow or quote Dr. Phil, but this time I think he got it right.
"“Something is normal if it does not interfere with healthy functioning and pursuit of goals,” Dr. Phil says. “Abnormal interferes with healthy functioning and pursuit of goals.”"
Kids do this because they want to shock people, if they can.
Gotcha.
My daughter was semi-goth, briefly. I told her she could wear anything she wanted to at home or to school if allowed as long as her grades were good.
She lost interest the goth/skater look. If her grades, her behavior, her manners, her fair treatment of others, her responsibility and integrity were intact - why would I care what she wore?
I’d probably guide her if she wore something that could get her bullied or ridiculed or harmed, was inflammatory - because that’s my job: push her out of the nest and make sure she can fly. She can fly. She soared.
The thing that always amuses me about kids trying to be unique is that enough of them do it - t becomes just another conforming uniform. But they think they’re edgy.
Behavior and grades were my priority. And guidance was my responsibility.
I was seeing a girl for a while, she seemed good to me at first, but I found out about some weird things she was doing. When she was 15 years old, she had company among them and her boyfriend, they listened to heavy metal music, they love tattoos and piercings, they always wore black clothes, and now the most bizarre thing ... in the evening they went to eat burgers and pizza to the cemetery. I have heard and seen all kinds of madness and disease in my life, but never something like that. What do you people think? Do you know of similar cases? Can a mentally stable person do something like that ?
She was a teenager and got into something rebellious and what seemed to her weird enough to be exciting. In my generation it was drugs and not wearing a bra and free love.
Teens do weird things. What has she done since then? Education? Jobs and future job prospects? Anything to show she's responsible? That's what I'd go by.
I think it's weird when someone tells me they were straight laced and didn't do anything rebellious or "wrong" in their teens. That's what the teen years are for.
As for cemeteries, my pals & I would go to a cemetery occasionally. We'd smoke pot, tell scary stories, and the guys in the backseat would suddenly yell to scare me. Harmless and fun.
May apply more to the OP than the girl he's posting about.
It's possible but it's also reasonable to look at someone else's behavior and to try to size them up if you may be considering a relationship with them.
If you are unsure of your perception then you ask others. That's what he did.
Of course we're all just chiming in here and really haven't got enough information about the OP or the girl to come to any serious conclusions about the mental health of either.
There is a "self classified" group of young kids who call themselves "Emo" and usually are very gothic in dress. They are tatted UP, pierced in every place imaginable, and wear black nail polish, spiked jewelry, black everything and even the makeup is smeary and black and usually the hair is purple or another color.
It would be my assumption that these individuals are rebelling against something in their home and families, and rely on each other for acceptance, company, and friendship.
Usually, if a person gets so tatted up and so pierced that it's ridiculous, I would think they are doing this for attention for whatever reason. I call it "dark" and it's not too far from demonic worship (that's probably the next step). Not to be confused with a Wiccan, as they worship the earth and do not worship Satan.
These type groups have one common denominator and that is low self-esteem. Drugs, gangs, emo, whatever it is actually lures in kids with low self esteem.
Taking food to cemeteries is strange, but at night, they are probably trying to call up spirits. And the reason I say this is because I actually know a woman who does that.
She brags about being able to see dead people. She loves to go to the Myrtles and places like that and loves gothic stuff, always wears black. She goes to cemeteries to take pictures of orbs at night and the strangest thing she ever did was tell me to "wait right there, I need to show you what i got my granddaughter." She comes back with a gothic doll, blood coming out of her eyes, a black silk dress, freaky looking eyes, I have never seen anything like that in my life. She said how beautiful the doll was. I was in shock I could not believe a grown person would give something of that nature to their own grandchild (age 5). Guess who did that? My Ex husband's new wife !! OMG. She calls me her wife in law and she's very nice to me but she is STRANGE. Also a pathological liar and very low self esteem. Definitely gothic.
OP, if this woman makes you so uncomfortable, why are you pursuing her? If something so minor as something like that in her past bothers you, you'd do well to seek out a woman who is very, very straight-laced.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
