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Look John, were are just acquaintances. We are not friends and we are not going to be friends. I do not care what you want. End of discussion.
See, easy. There's no reason to try to be friends. You don't need the aggravation and he's going to always be looking for an angle to get past your boundaries.
Look John, were are just acquaintances. We are not friends and we are not going to be friends. I do not care what you want. End of discussion.
See, easy. There's no reason to try to be friends. You don't need the aggravation and he's going to always be looking for an angle to get past your boundaries.
I tried to be acquaintances with him the last time. I just asked for completely no contact at all whatsoever now.
The hard part for me right now is if I should unfriend my mutual "friend" because not wanting to take sides in this context, while understandable cause he doesn't like conflict, is also very wimpy and uncaring. No action is a response as well, and it's a poor one. Thank God I have other people I can try to spend time with.
I don't feel mutual friend's a bad person and the physical part is nice, lol. But now he's dense for this situation. . .
He obviously isn't satisfied with a platonic relationship, and his "inappropriate" touching is just him trying to coax you to take it another direction. You're asking for trouble if you try a FWB relationship with him - he is already too pushy to be able to keep the distance that kind of situation requires, and my bet he would just get more attached, making an even messier breakup.
Tell him you enjoyed getting to know him, but that you don't feel you two are a good fit, that you're not comfortable being friends, and only be as friendly as necessary if you run into him when visiting mutual friends. Otherwise, he'll take anything more as you being interested, or sending mixed signals.
He obviously isn't satisfied with a platonic relationship, and his "inappropriate" touching is just him trying to coax you to take it another direction. You're asking for trouble if you try a FWB relationship with him - he is already too pushy to be able to keep the distance that kind of situation requires, and my bet he would just get more attached, making an even messier breakup.
Tell him you enjoyed getting to know him, but that you don't feel you two are a good fit, that you're not comfortable being friends, and only be as friendly as necessary if you run into him when visiting mutual friends. Otherwise, he'll take anything more as you being interested, or sending mixed signals.
Thank you for the thought.
Thankfully, I never had interest in even fwb with harasser. I am an fwb with mutual friend between me and harasser. With harasser, I'm constantly just pushing him away at this point because he just can't take "no" for an answer, and he's too self-absorbed to respect other people's physical boundaries.
I thought about the social circle that encompassed mutual friend between me and harasser. I felt that mutual friends' other more neutral friends are not warm or we don't clique. One of them, I formerly met outside of this social circle and he has treated me and even mutual friend like we are a step below him. So, I just stay away from him, but he still thinks nothing of it cause he gets physical pleasure, sigh.
I told mutual friend simply because of the situation, I won't be able to attend anymore of his personal gatherings and that we could only hang 1-1. He didn't ask questions and understood and was saddened by it.
I have another friend I get along with well, but I met him and bonded with him platonically before he was in mutual friend's circle. I still plan on playing interactive fiction games with him remotely and doing things with him in-person occasionally.
I think I will be trying to completely distance myself from him. If I have to meet him at mutual friend's gathering, I will say directly for him to stay away and not say anything even if I have to cut him off.
I agree with the first sentence. On the second one I would say "hello" without much further comment. Two of my ex's live in the village in which my wife and I reside. We are friendly with one of them and her husband. The other I am coolly distant but not actively unfriendly.
You may be willing to be platonic friends but he is not. Cut off all ties. Block him. His actions may an attempt to change your mind, or they may be be an expression of resentment for your rejection. There's nothing here for either of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chessimprov
A person I attempted to date at first, I lost interest in right away and we kept in touch trying to build something platonic. During this time of building friendship, he has been making inappropriate physical advances at this angle and that angle to the point where I told him not to touch me at all.
Even after telling him this, he keeps bringing stuff up from time to time.
He wrote an e-mail to me today detailing quotes about when I talked about what it would be like if we were fwbs. Problem is, we were never actually fwbs because he only wanted a commitment or something platonic.
We have a mutual friend who doesn't like to be involved in conflict. When I spoke with mutual friend about my side of things, he always "sees" both sides of things.
After browsing e-mail and talking with mutual friend about situation,
I think I will be trying to completely distance myself from him. If I have to meet him at mutual friend's gathering, I will say directly for him to stay away and not say anything even if I have to cut him off.
A person I attempted to date at first, I lost interest in right away and we kept in touch trying to build something platonic. During this time of building friendship, he has been making inappropriate physical advances at this angle and that angle to the point where I told him not to touch me at all.
Even after telling him this, he keeps bringing stuff up from time to time.
He wrote an e-mail to me today detailing quotes about when I talked about what it would be like if we were fwbs. Problem is, we were never actually fwbs because he only wanted a commitment or something platonic.
We have a mutual friend who doesn't like to be involved in conflict. When I spoke with mutual friend about my side of things, he always "sees" both sides of things.
After browsing e-mail and talking with mutual friend about situation,
I think I will be trying to completely distance myself from him. If I have to meet him at mutual friend's gathering, I will say directly for him to stay away and not say anything even if I have to cut him off.
If you want to distance yourself from him, be up front about it now, be honest, but not at a mutual friend's gathering. I would handle this before the gathering. If it's that bad, don't go to the gathering at all.
I agree with the first sentence. On the second one I would say "hello" without much further comment. Two of my ex's live in the village in which my wife and I reside. We are friendly with one of them and her husband. The other I am coolly distant but not actively unfriendly.
I was already at "the step" where I would only say "hi" to him at gatherings, but he still had opportunity to reach out. But I didn't actively stay friended to him on social media, and blocked him for 2 weeks for a break, then unblocked but didn't re-friend.
The stuff I described happened after "the step" of saying "hi" to him at a gathering. Since he wouldn't stop nagging about minute stuff after all that, that is why I chose to escalate further and just completely push away communication now.
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