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If I am dealing with someone being a jerk at my place of employment, first of all, what exactly is their entitlement to treat me poorly? There's a reason why we've got HR. I don't have to just shut up and take it. And if it comes to it, I can work someplace else. But like, I used to put up with sexual harassment back in the very late 90s when I was working as a young adult at low paying McJobs because I did not have any reason to believe I had standing to do anything about it...and if it got bad enough I'd just quit, the job wasn't worth that much really. But now? Hell would be rightly raised.
At the store? Who is being a jerk to me at the store? Honestly, encounters with "jerks" in the wild are rare, and usually leave me thinking that said jerk is going to give himself a heart attack and I feel sorry for him and everyone in his life. Because in mere moments, he will no longer be in mine, and I'll never have to see him again. Easy.
I don't see any situation, really, where I just have to hunker down and deal with being treated like crap. But of course...I'm not going to step into a cry room, I'm going to stand up for myself.
But as many have pointed out here, the "cry rooms" are not really what you think. First of all, no one designated them as such, outside of a joke (or as someone mentioned, some art installation where they were making a statement.) These are simply small, private rooms for one person to go in and have a few minutes alone. Maybe they want to breathe. Maybe they want to make a brief phone call. I can think of a dozen reasons why an individual might want to step into a private room for ten minutes. Hell, maybe they want to sit and calm down because something was making them angry and they were trying not to BE a jerk to another person because of it.
Obviously they won't be everywhere. Pretty sure that students who avail themselves of one do not expect them to be everywhere. Doesn't mean it's just ...huff...huff...outrageous...that they exist. Like there are particular amenities in all sorts of places that nobody expects to see literally everywhere.
It does annoy me to hear people talk about "well, jerks will always exist so you have to learn how to take it..." like the good ol' talk in the earlier days of the internet, "grow a thicker skin or get off the internet harr harr." The mindset that arseholes have an ENTITLEMENT to their space and behavior that supersedes everyone else's entitlement to be left the hell alone or treated with any respect or decency, is baloney. Especially in spaces that are in fact managed private property where the owner has a say (stores, websites.) At some point it really starts to sound like a defense of bad behavior.
Shocking thought, we may see a world where there exist very tempting, vulnerable looking, potential soft targets walking around, and yet no one will have the RIGHT or ENTITLEMENT to bully them without consequences. Not even in ways that are technically legal. Can you imagine? People standing up to jerks? Not just defending and preserving their right to act the way that they do? Huh.
You don't seem to live in the real world either. Jerks exist. I'm not justifying them. There are a lot of executives that are jerks. And it may be just a couple of people in a company where you like what you do and most of the people. But you can't do anything about them. They don't have to do something illegal like sexual harassment to be jerks. They can be rude or condescending. They can undermine others with office politics. And if you drive, you know there are jerks on the road. And while most people are nice, you will run into jerks at stores or restaurants or other places. You need to learn not to fall apart and have to go into a safe space when you have those situations.
You're making too big a deal out of cry rooms. They were for stressed students to take a 10 minute break while studying for finals in the library. If I am having an especially stressful day at work I sometimes go into the bathroom at work and just lean against the door and breathe for a few minutes. That's what a cry room is for. Cry room is just the name they gave it. It doesn't mean they are coddled, they are under a lot of stress during finals. The healthy way to handle stress is to learn ways to decompress, and that may mean going off by yourself for a few minutes to breathe, journal, whatever. It is much better than trying to buck up and hold it all in.
And I don't see how carrying stuffed animals is evidence of coddling, either.
They know what the real world is like and what people are like, unless they were never allowed out of the house. And they certainly see plenty of video evidence to know there are lots of unkind people in the world.
I feel like you're just generation-bashing with no substance behind the argument.
I feel like you are trying to be a bully by calling it "generation-bashing" with no basis for that.
I'm talking about individuals not a whole generation.
You don't seem to live in the real world either. Jerks exist. I'm not justifying them. There are a lot of executives that are jerks. And it may be just a couple of people in a company where you like what you do and most of the people. But you can't do anything about them. They don't have to do something illegal like sexual harassment to be jerks. They can be rude or condescending. They can undermine others with office politics. And if you drive, you know there are jerks on the road. And while most people are nice, you will run into jerks at stores or restaurants or other places. You need to learn not to fall apart and have to go into a safe space when you have those situations.
I haven't seen any cause to believe that there are loads of young people crumpling and crying in public over trifling life stresses and occasional encounters with rude people.
If anything, they are getting out their cell phones and taking video, actually.
But again, the rooms are not in fact designated as "cry rooms" or "safe spaces", I'm sure, for the exclusive purpose of going to have a meltdown in. Nevermind that some individuals may use them as such (as for a very long time restaurant personnel notoriously used the walk in.) Again, they are for instance a great place to go take a short phone call, where others won't hear and you won't disturb those around you.
Who expects them to be everywhere?
As for me living in the real world, if I were dealing with passive aggressive nonsense at work, I have the social savvy to parry that behavior and turn it to my own benefit. But it isn't a problem that I've got, because the people at my job all behave professionally. Those who created a "hostile work environment" from the top to the bottom have been purged over the years.
But again, as an adult we have more ways of dealing with such things. We can avoid people who annoy us, we can get transferred or switch jobs. It is a choice, a weighing of risks and rewards of our situation.
As for the jerks on the road, again, how long precisely do I have to deal with such a person? Moments, generally? My point is that you seem to be telling everyone else that the way they have to think, feel, act, speak, and generally behave needs to revolve around these relative few "jerks." I disagree. And I think it's high time they got some consequences for their behavior dished up, which I am pleased to see happening in the world, though it will never be universal...it's past time for a shift in thinking.
Because standing up for yourself IS a third option here, it's not just "suck it up and deal" or "go cry." Bullies tend to forget that.
Well I for one appreciate unique opinions from Sonic and Tamara and others here whom I can't think of right now off the top of my head. I think they do live in the real world. They simply have a very deep and unique perspective on things based upon life experience, interests and manner of thinking and speaking. I'm used to these kinds of things because of my own geography, background, choice of cities lived in and pursued interests. I'm not saying you're wrong, bu2, just that your life experience is probably very different. Neither is incorrect or out of touch with the real world.
Maybe they just go home. Go for a walk. That's what you have to do in the real world. College age students are legal adults. They should be treated as such.
Several of us stated we sometimes go into the bathroom at work just to get a moment away when we are stressed. This isn't any different. I don't think giving them a private space to take a moment means we aren't treating them as adults. I don't think it's any different than going for a walk. But considering they were put in for students who are in the library studying during finals week, it's probably better than actually leaving the library and walking around campus. They have all their books, computers with them, etc.
You're making too big a deal out of cry rooms. They were for stressed students to take a 10 minute break while studying for finals in the library. If I am having an especially stressful day at work I sometimes go into the bathroom at work and just lean against the door and breathe for a few minutes. That's what a cry room is for. Cry room is just the name they gave it. It doesn't mean they are coddled, they are under a lot of stress during finals. The healthy way to handle stress is to learn ways to decompress, and that may mean going off by yourself for a few minutes to breathe, journal, whatever. It is much better than trying to buck up and hold it all in.
And I don't see how carrying stuffed animals is evidence of coddling, either.
They know what the real world is like and what people are like, unless they were never allowed out of the house. And they certainly see plenty of video evidence to know there are lots of unkind people in the world.
I feel like you're just generation-bashing with no substance behind the argument.
Can't rep you again.
I did a search on "cry rooms" and found one instance, four years ago, of a student in Utah building such a room in the college library as an art project.
OP saw three girls with stuffed animals at the store. These isolated events are not a trend.
I don't really think it's a trend, I've just noticed it as a phenomenon that did not seem to exist in other generations.
Apparently though, sororities are asking candidates to walk around dressed as and acting like a young child, with props. I don't recall that happening in years past either.
I don't really think it's a trend, I've just noticed it as a phenomenon that did not seem to exist in other generations.
Apparently though, sororities are asking candidates to walk around dressed as and acting like a young child, with props. I don't recall that happening in years past either.
Did you have the Greek system at your college? "Sorority Bears" are a thing. Kappa Delta's (founded 1897) mascot is the teddy bear.
I feel like you are trying to be a bully by calling it "generation-bashing" with no basis for that.
I'm talking about individuals not a whole generation.
Which individuals are you talking about then? People you actually know?
Did you have the Greek system at your college? "Sorority Bears" are a thing. Kappa Delta's (founded 1897) mascot is the teddy bear.
When I was in college it was considered really Square to be in a fraternity or sorority. It was out of style at that time and of course I was in California. The only fraternity/sorority there was was UC Davis where I went to school it was an Aggie thing that you joined if you wanted to get into veterinarian school.
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I think they do live in the real world. They simply have a very deep and unique perspective on things based upon life experience, interests and manner of thinking and speaking. I'm used to these kinds of things because of my own geography, background, choice of cities lived in and pursued interests. I'm not saying you're wrong, bu2, just that your life experience is probably very different. Neither is incorrect or out of touch with the real world.
