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The people who feel the need to go into a cry room and have a cry.
I do know some people who have been incapacitated over things not going their way. I'm not going to be specific because then it would be more a topic for a different board.
You keep misinterpreting what it's for despite it being posted many times. The sign on the door does not say "cry room", that name got started by a student who created one for an art project and that's what she named her art project. The sign on the door says it's a place for students who are in the library studying for finals to take a 10-minute break. I highly doubt people are going in there collapsing in a ball of tears.
Maybe you don't remember finals week or never went through it, it's brutal.
I paste pictures in my diaries, one page for writing, the fly page for pictures, thoughts selected and the pictures that align with them. I have often noted that this may be a guard against dementia, that as I go thru my diaries of years past, the pictures help me remember.
Well, maybe stuffed animals are like that, too. Instead of putting them away when we are "adult", we should keep them around to help us remember our years before, either direct memory or emotional.
So...heh... I just thought of a tangent, an "I don't get it" thing...
I have always heard that crying leaves people feeling better, that whole cathartic "release" of some kind. But I've never experienced this. I mean, I have certainly cried at times here and there across the arc of my life, but it has never made me feel better. It tends to give me a runny/stuffy nose and a headache. Then I'm as miserable as before, but in new ways!
Is this me being weird or does anybody else kinda not get the "cry it out, feel better" thing? Just wondering.
Depends on the 'why' for the cry for me. If I'm crying out of sadness, depression, anxiety, or stress nah, I don't feel better. If I'm crying out of anger or frustration then yeah, sometimes it helps me to move past that and move onto looking for immediate solutions to whatever made me angry or upset.
You actually seem to be agreeing with me, despite your best efforts not to . You shouldn't fall apart when you run into these people.
If you do much driving, it often happens several times a day!
I am not agreeing with you, no. Because frankly I just don't know anyone who is so delicate that they fall utterly apart if someone looks at them funny, aside from those with serious anxiety disorders (like on the level of needing medication.)
Your repeated reference to jerks on the road reminds me of something. There was a point where I was returning home with my two small children from a weekend beach trip, and I was driving through a totally unfamiliar small town. I realized a little late that I really needed to be in the next lane over to make a turn (this was before I had GPS to help me, if it were now I'd just have made the wrong turn and let my maps assistant reroute me later)... It was in the lanes leading up to a red light, in heavy traffic. I put my blinker on, and was trying to find an opening to get over, but no one wanted to let me in. The light changed, traffic crept forward, but there was so much slow moving backup that it was gonna be another cycle of the light we all had to sit through. Finally I saw what looked like my chance, there was a truck towing a boat creeping VERY slowly in my rearview, with a good 8-10 car lengths of open space in front of him, and the light had turned so he was going to have to stop anyways, and I thought he was letting me in because he was going so slowly and leaving so much room.
So I got over and pulled up to a stop in the lane I needed, at the red light. Then out of nowhere this Hulk Hogan wannabe comes raging up to my window, banging on it with his fist and shouting profanity at me. Face red, veins bulging, in a white tank top and an American flag cloth tied on his head. If I'd been a man, I know he would have wanted me to come out and fight, but seeing a woman, he just shouted threats and obscenity at me until the light changed again and we were able to go. I really did think he was deliberately letting me get in front of him! He really was creeping very slowly! And he was gonna have to stop anyways, I don't know how one car was going to make so much difference, as far back as he was...it made no sense to me. But for real this guy looked like his head was gonna explode.
And yeah, you know what? After we all got moving and down the road a few minutes, I looked for a place where I could safely get off the road, in a busy parking lot (where if he followed, others would be around) and I stopped my car to get myself together. I was shaking. I'm not used to having that kind of rage in my face. My kids were upset, too, and scared. I probably sat there for like 5-10 minutes calming both them and myself.
Sometimes a person can really use a minute to recover from an intense moment, so that they can return to their best mental performance (like in my case, driving safely.) It's not that crazy a notion. Not at all.
But the huge difference between those kinds of moments and what a college student may want to take a quiet break from...is that I was never gonna see that guy again. As I KEEP trying to tell you, those sorts of encounters happen and then they are over, and I don't have to be trapped in a situation of dealing with that intense kind of stress. Whoever lives with him does, until they leave. Hell. Maybe they already had. Or maybe his wife is just as nuts. I couldn't tell ya. But she has a choice, though. And if anyone I have to deal with day in and day out is causing me intense stress, I can and will walk away from that. I don't HAVE to deal with it, as an adult...there are alternatives. Even if it's a really good job, if someone where raging at me or causing me that kind of stress every day, I wouldn't stay. But the things that stress out students...they may have less control over. Who is around them in their classes, the pressure to try and succeed, no choice in their roommates or neighbors, whatever personal drama may be going down with their friends, families, romantic partners...and a not-fully-matured mind trying to cope.
Like I see two sides of this. I do worry about the kids, I have two young adults sons that I worry about nonstop. But I don't think that these rooms, to whatever extent that they exist, are actually a big symptom or cause of any problems. Well. Unless they find one day that students were popping in there to partake of illegal drugs (I'm thinking of what I've heard about people using stimulants to get through college, in particular.) Now THAT could be a concern. But I haven't heard any evidence to indicate that this is happening, and if they didn't have these rooms they would go somewhere else.
I don't really think it's a trend, I've just noticed it as a phenomenon that did not seem to exist in other generations.
Apparently though, sororities are asking candidates to walk around dressed as and acting like a young child, with props. I don't recall that happening in years past either.
Is it preponderantly a girl thing?
I'm guessing it is.
Adolescent and college age females (and to a smaller extent older females) have a bio-cultural need to affiliate for emotional support and, for good or ill, we are more prone to 'social contagion'.
'Littles' is immature but seemingly harmless as long as it doesn't interfere with proper development of the autonomy and critical thinking required to stay physically safe and obtain economic security for ourselves and our offspring.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-29-2022 at 01:02 PM..
Reason: Rude comment.
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Pathrunner, agreed with all your post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva
Many people seem to be emotional basket cases these days.. That might sound harsh, but it is what it is. I know that people can struggle with their mental health and it's good to talk about your feelings with others. However, some of this is too much. You can't be that emotionally fragile... Carrying around a stuffed animal when you're a full grown adult is just plain silly.
It's "silly" only because mainstream society's say-so. Problem is, mainstream society's say-so is bunk at least as often as not. History has too many examples of disproof of 'majority or societal views' for me to believe otherwise. I grew up in a society where, ten years before my birth, both racial integration and women in high-prestige well-paying occupations were "silly" ideas - and look at how much has changed since then.
Condemning people for emotional fragility is not only unfair, but I'd also call it a form of mental ableism.
I fail to see how being fragile is a conscious, deliberate effort to hurt, harm, or demean others.
Furthermore, you completely contradict yourself by saying that "people can struggle with their mental health issues" and "it's good to talk about feelings". Scorning or belittling such people is precisely part of the problem with the mainstream.
First, it's holding people responsible for matters beyond their control.
Second, it just makes the trait more intense or long-lived, namely by creating yet another mental hurdle the person has to overcome in order to be in the proper frame of mind to deal with the trait.
Even all this assumes the trait is substantive flaw, as opposed to mere petty distaste of the trait. It seems that society needs yet another radical readjustment: from seeing emotional distress, and yes, even whining, as something to scorn to empathizing with it as a real cry for help that needs addressing. Imagine how much that approach would decrease badness in the world.
So...heh... I just thought of a tangent, an "I don't get it" thing...
I have always heard that crying leaves people feeling better, that whole cathartic "release" of some kind. But I've never experienced this. I mean, I have certainly cried at times here and there across the arc of my life, but it has never made me feel better. It tends to give me a runny/stuffy nose and a headache. Then I'm as miserable as before, but in new ways!
Is this me being weird or does anybody else kinda not get the "cry it out, feel better" thing? Just wondering.
A heavy cry...extreme grief kind of crying...I mean the REALLY crying tends to exhaust me. I feel the need for a nap after that kind of crying. BUT, I can see it as being cathartic in a way, in the sense that you are (or I am) actually DEALING with, and acknowledging the point of my pain by crying...and in that sense, it can be cathartic.
I paste pictures in my diaries, one page for writing, the fly page for pictures, thoughts selected and the pictures that align with them. I have often noted that this may be a guard against dementia, that as I go thru my diaries of years past, the pictures help me remember.
Well, maybe stuffed animals are like that, too. Instead of putting them away when we are "adult", we should keep them around to help us remember our years before, either direct memory or emotional.
That's neat you keep a diary with photos. Really great idea.
You just helped bring up a memory for me. As mentioned upthread I loved having stuffed animals around when my children were little, and right on into their adulthood and after they went off out into the world.
The stuffed animal I just remembered is Sebastian The Crab in The Little Mermaid. What joy that little crab brought me! I went out and bought him soon after the movie came out and my daughter was watching it a lot. Wish I still had him. Samuel E. Wright who voiced the character, passed away last year. What a special voice he had. ("Under the Sea") If that song doesn't cheer you up, I don't know what will!
I am not agreeing with you, no. Because frankly I just don't know anyone who is so delicate that they fall utterly apart if someone looks at them funny, aside from those with serious anxiety disorders (like on the level of needing medication.)
Your repeated reference to jerks on the road reminds me of something. There was a point where I was returning home with my two small children from a weekend beach trip, and I was driving through a totally unfamiliar small town. I realized a little late that I really needed to be in the next lane over to make a turn (this was before I had GPS to help me, if it were now I'd just have made the wrong turn and let my maps assistant reroute me later)... It was in the lanes leading up to a red light, in heavy traffic. I put my blinker on, and was trying to find an opening to get over, but no one wanted to let me in. The light changed, traffic crept forward, but there was so much slow moving backup that it was gonna be another cycle of the light we all had to sit through. Finally I saw what looked like my chance, there was a truck towing a boat creeping VERY slowly in my rearview, with a good 8-10 car lengths of open space in front of him, and the light had turned so he was going to have to stop anyways, and I thought he was letting me in because he was going so slowly and leaving so much room.
So I got over and pulled up to a stop in the lane I needed, at the red light. Then out of nowhere this Hulk Hogan wannabe comes raging up to my window, banging on it with his fist and shouting profanity at me. Face red, veins bulging, in a white tank top and an American flag cloth tied on his head. If I'd been a man, I know he would have wanted me to come out and fight, but seeing a woman, he just shouted threats and obscenity at me until the light changed again and we were able to go. I really did think he was deliberately letting me get in front of him! He really was creeping very slowly! And he was gonna have to stop anyways, I don't know how one car was going to make so much difference, as far back as he was...it made no sense to me. But for real this guy looked like his head was gonna explode.
And yeah, you know what? After we all got moving and down the road a few minutes, I looked for a place where I could safely get off the road, in a busy parking lot (where if he followed, others would be around) and I stopped my car to get myself together. I was shaking. I'm not used to having that kind of rage in my face. My kids were upset, too, and scared. I probably sat there for like 5-10 minutes calming both them and myself.
Sometimes a person can really use a minute to recover from an intense moment, so that they can return to their best mental performance (like in my case, driving safely.) It's not that crazy a notion. Not at all.
But the huge difference between those kinds of moments and what a college student may want to take a quiet break from...is that I was never gonna see that guy again. As I KEEP trying to tell you, those sorts of encounters happen and then they are over, and I don't have to be trapped in a situation of dealing with that intense kind of stress. Whoever lives with him does, until they leave. Hell. Maybe they already had. Or maybe his wife is just as nuts. I couldn't tell ya. But she has a choice, though. And if anyone I have to deal with day in and day out is causing me intense stress, I can and will walk away from that. I don't HAVE to deal with it, as an adult...there are alternatives. Even if it's a really good job, if someone where raging at me or causing me that kind of stress every day, I wouldn't stay. But the things that stress out students...they may have less control over. Who is around them in their classes, the pressure to try and succeed, no choice in their roommates or neighbors, whatever personal drama may be going down with their friends, families, romantic partners...and a not-fully-matured mind trying to cope.
Like I see two sides of this. I do worry about the kids, I have two young adults sons that I worry about nonstop. But I don't think that these rooms, to whatever extent that they exist, are actually a big symptom or cause of any problems. Well. Unless they find one day that students were popping in there to partake of illegal drugs (I'm thinking of what I've heard about people using stimulants to get through college, in particular.) Now THAT could be a concern. But I haven't heard any evidence to indicate that this is happening, and if they didn't have these rooms they would go somewhere else.
I had someone in an expensive Audit pass me on the freeway while partly in my lane and pull inches in front of me. There was plenty of space in front so he didn't need to come over so quickly. And he had not been trapped behind me at all. I was in the fast lane, but doing about 10 over the speed limit. I gave a quick tap on the horn. And then he repeatedly did emergency stops trying to get me to rear end him. Now I had a big SUV, so he would have been smashed. That was one of the worst, but I see people almost as bad monthly and milder versions every day. How many of these people are always jerks and how many had a bad week, I don't know. But there are a lot of them.
You keep misinterpreting what it's for despite it being posted many times. The sign on the door does not say "cry room", that name got started by a student who created one for an art project and that's what she named her art project. The sign on the door says it's a place for students who are in the library studying for finals to take a 10-minute break. I highly doubt people are going in there collapsing in a ball of tears.
Maybe you don't remember finals week or never went through it, it's brutal.
A library is a quiet space. Why do you need a special quiet room in a library?
I sometimes found finals week intense, but not brutal.
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. You shouldn't fall apart when you run into these people.
