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There are different types of poverty. Just because someone owns a home, doesn't mean they are fully equipped with the more important things in life: courage, compassion, humility, a strong sense of right and wrong.
When a person tries to make themselves appear like a better person, by cutting other people down... really all it serves to do is make them appear very small.
I think too many people are reading something into the opening post that isn't there. The OP watched someone he cared about get treated like crap and there was nothing he could do. I have plenty of relatives I can't trust enough to take under my own roof and understand why the OP couldn't intervene and end up having to take them in. And poor isn't the reason. There's likely a darn good reason why those two are being thrown out of her dads house. If they aren't finding a place of their own until they are forced to that to me says something about their integrity. There isn't any reason for two able bodies people to have to be living with relatives long enough to get thrown out.
Before anyone says I'm a hater I've done the crappy apartment thing. Mostly the disrespect came from the other tenants that didn't respect that we share common walls and one guy would get drunk and bang on our door looking for a fight. Then when we finally moved out the land lord made up a reason to keep half of our deposit. I tried to talk to her about it, but was nothing I could do. And for us at the time it was a lot of money. We were good tenants that paid on time and damaged nothing. The OP is right. Being poor leaves you vulnerable. I don't know why anyone would disagree with that. And when someone you care about doesn't take care of themselves financially bad things happen to them and at some point all you can do is watch because they aren't going to change.
I think too many people are reading something into the opening post that isn't there. The OP watched someone he cared about get treated like crap and there was nothing he could do. I have plenty of relatives I can't trust enough to take under my own roof and understand why the OP couldn't intervene and end up having to take them in. And poor isn't the reason. There's likely a darn good reason why those two are being thrown out of her dads house. If they aren't finding a place of their own until they are forced to that to me says something about their integrity. There isn't any reason for two able bodies people to have to be living with relatives long enough to get thrown out.
Before anyone says I'm a hater I've done the crappy apartment thing. Mostly the disrespect came from the other tenants that didn't respect that we share common walls and one guy would get drunk and bang on our door looking for a fight. Then when we finally moved out the land lord made up a reason to keep half of our deposit. I tried to talk to her about it, but was nothing I could do. And for us at the time it was a lot of money. We were good tenants that paid on time and damaged nothing. The OP is right. Being poor leaves you vulnerable. I don't know why anyone would disagree with that. And when someone you care about doesn't take care of themselves financially bad things happen to them and at some point all you can do is watch because they aren't going to change.
I've already suggested this earlier in the thread. To all those who disagree, all they have to do to prove me wrong is quit their job, get rid of their savings, and a year from now come back and tell us all how well they are doing despite not having enough money to do anything. It's a really simple experiment.
By the way, I just found out this morning that the bf's sister is pregnant
I've already suggested this earlier in the thread. To all those who disagree, all they have to do to prove me wrong is quit their job, get rid of their savings, and a year from now come back and tell us all how well they are doing despite not having enough money to do anything. It's a really simple experiment.
By the way, I just found out this morning that the bf's sister is pregnant
Why are you surprised? Didn't you create a whole thread about that topic already.
Sounds like a lot or family issues and drama.. and you are just putting it on the Internet to look for people to agree with you.
I own my own house. My boyfriend lives with me. We are quite happy being king and king of our own castle. We decorate the house and do whatever we want with it. He and I have knocked down a couple walls to redo a couple of the rooms in this house. So, that's the background.
His sister and her boyfriend are finally moving out of her parents' apartment. They managed to find an apartment cheap enough for them to be able to afford and still make their car payment.
Earlier today, my boyfriend and I went shopping and bought pots and pans, silverwares, knife set, etc. Then we went to the apartment. When we pulled into the parking lot, the land lord was yelling at the sister and her boyfriend. He was using every profanity imaginable. They hadn't signed the lease yet. At one point, he pointed at us and told them to "get them the f*** out of here". The sister and her boyfriend were just begging the landlord to let them have the place.
As it was happening, we just sat there in our car waiting for them to sign the lease and the landlord to leave. The sister and her boyfriend were clearly scared to death of the land lord.
I remember when I bought my house the real estate agent, the bank rep, the underwriter, and everyone else involved were extremely polite to me and were borderline kissing my behind. After all, me buying the house was profitable for everyone, including me.
The incident with that landlord was a stark reminder (at least to me) that no one wants to be poor. When one is poor, one is at the mercy of others. When I was buying my house, had anyone not treat me politely I would have left and seek out someone else to talk to or another house to buy. I would not have tolerated any such demeanor demonstrated by that landlord.
Was that landlord's demeanor normal for landlords of such places?
I was poor when I was young and lived in cheap apartments in several different cities. Everyone I rented from was nice.
Maybe the landlord found something out that set him off, although that's no excuse for that behavior. Could be the sis and bf lied on their application. Who knows. But something got him very angry. Why the sis & bf begged for the apt is beyond me. There's always another apartment.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn
Gee, my friend's son got mixed up with the wrong crowd for a few months.
He was stupid at 18...not bad at all! I knew him since 10.
Now he has a record...is a FINE married guy, took on 2 of her kids, at 38.
Is a contractor and owns a roofing business...they are doing great...esp since
the kid's real father and new wife were killed in a car accident 2 weeks ago!
He is wonderful!!!
You can have records for stupid mistakes.
WhatHow is the passing of her kids real father and wife relevant at all to this story? That post says more about you then it does about your sons friend.
And I'm going to guess that maybe they didn't have all the money promised. That's the only things slumlords get that emotional about.
What people here need to remember is that you don't have to have a record to be denied a place to live. Right now a lot of landlords are only accepting tenants with perfect credit scores, likewise a lot of jobs require you to have a perfect credit score also. If you came out of the 2008 recession unscathed, congratulations. But thousands and thousands of other people lost their jobs, their vehicles, and their homes.
Many of them are just now getting back on their feet. Some of what happened to people in the recession was their own fault, but a lot of people suffered through no fault of their own. Now they're trying to pick up the pieces and they're being penalized for nothing that they did. People like them are the ones who also are in a spot trying to find a place to live and don't have many choices open to them. I would guess that includes a lot of people on this forum, too.
no matter how a person tries to slice it, "boasting about" having money is smug and unattractive and offensive; and looking down on people who rent or are poor is arrogant and offensive. in this thread alone the posts call renters "poor" "criminal" and "Aholes"
i have lived with lots of money, and i have hit rock bottom and had nothing
i have owned my own home, and i have rented. today i rent by choice, you could not pay me enough money to own a home again
.....
But she was not even boasting! Yet immediately, the very first post accuses her of this. She is/was merely comparing and contrasting her to the sister.
OP = NOT Poor
Sister = Poor.
So it goes.
I'm not saying to waive your good fortune in people's faces or something, but merely saying that she owns her own house and "went shopping for kitchen stuff" is nothing to shame the OP over!
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
A LOT more. OP is painting this sister & her boyfriend in a "poor me" light, when undoubtedly they have caused their current lot in life.
Actually it is very "doubtedly." You don't seem to know a lot about poverty. Some cause it directly, some are born into it and cant escape the cycle since they don't have the resources (i.e, being raised by poor role models - literally and figuratively- will not automatically make you a "perfect adult on your 18th birthday), And MOST fall on hard times (job loss, medical bills, etc) and are only poor for a short while, like the poster above me.
I left home when I was only 17 yrs. old and missed my share of meals. However, at no time did I do anything that would give me a "record". Few knew that as I worked next to them that I was really hungry as I kept myself clean and worked two jobs to meet my financial obligations. Being poor doesn't mean you have to be a criminal, it just means you have to find a respectable way to improve your life. Many have done that without being a burden to taxpayers.
It seems to me that the being poor is getting confused with having a record. As a former landlord, I did rent to some without high incomes, but for me, integrity was a higher criteria. Like other posters have written, something from the story is missing so who knows what really set off the landlord. Starting off like this means that the situation will not end well somewhere in the near future for those people. The sister needs to cut herself free from that guy and find her own path as that guy isn't a shining star, in my opinion.
That is a great achievement. And i am sincere in this.
Yet the fact is that many poor people DO have records. (e.g., stealing stuff to sell to make rent, prostitution, etc.)
If you want a sobering glimpse of what living poor is like (and who doesn't?), read Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America by Barbara Ehrenreich.
She tried to earn a living working minimum wage jobs such as waitress, a cleaning woman, nurses aide, Walmart "associate."
She started each job out with health insurance, a car, and a $1,000 and was never able to keep up except the time she worked two jobs, seven days a week but she said she didn't know how long she could keep that up.
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How is the passing of her kids real father and wife relevant at all to this story? That post says more about you then it does about your sons friend. 
