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Your best option is whatjaynarie suggested, and what we did in 1978 at age 26,and what many people have done ever since, buy farther out where costs are less, and commute until you have the income to afford more.
Thanks for the advice, sans judgment, lecture or snark! I agree with you and am in the process of convincing my husband that a commute isn't the worst thing in the world No easy task...
As a millennial who chose to stay at home with our children - and spaced those children closely to make the stay-at-home period as short as possible - in order to save on daycare fees (although I still found ways to work from home), I'm having a hard time mustering sympathy for her 700sq ft apt. problem. We had three children while in a 2bd, 1.5ba, 700sq.ft townhouse (losing a lot of sq.footage in stairs/hallways) for 3 years, saving for a downpayment on our first home, which we purchased when they were 1, 2, and 3 years old, when I was 24 years old. It's a beautiful, old house- 5bd/2ba in 1800 sq ft - which I stalked online for almost a year and went into it knowing how and what to negotiate, knowing we could slowly fix it up ourselves. Neither of us graduated from college because we didn't see a value in getting loans for degrees in business when we already had the sales jobs we wanted IN business. It wasn't worth it. I *could* stay home because we had no debts but most importantly, no student loan debts. I didn't HAVE to work and could take the risk of making an income from home in other ways.
What I see as entitlement is the thought that if a young person does everything they're TOLD are markers of a successful person, they deserve to have all the trappings of a successful person. There's a gross lack of critical thinking skills... a disconnect between actions and consequences that cannot handle the ongoing reception of new information that *should* change what they're doing. You do NOT get to graduate from high school or graduate from college and expect your life to go smoothly from that point on just because you did as you were told. It's very narrow-minded to continue on with that thought though because... new information. The market is now flooded with degrees. Those degrees are less of an indicator of knowledge than they used to be, for many reasons I won't get into right now. They cost more than ever and are rewarded less, in salary, than they used to be. To get that higher salary, one often (but not always) has to go into a higher COL area - which is higher because everyone else is doing it too; they are, themselves, contributing to increasing the COL - effectively cancelling out the benefit of the higher salary.
And rather than step back and re-evaluate where they went wrong, then adjust their plans and continue forward, they blame the people it *did* work for decades ago? What? Copying baby boomers is not going to work, just as copying their parents didn't work for BBs. Unsuccessful/dissatisfied millennials are so because they're not adapting to the times. A rigid mindset is a poor life plan in *every* generation.
As someone for whom it was not an option to live at my parents house in my early - mid 20s because one was dead and the other had no room for me (living with her own parents all bedrooms taken, long story) I'm having trouble relating to you as well. That said, I don't consider myself unsuccessful or even dissatisfied... can't someone make observations and vent frustration without being labeled an all around miserable person and now a failure? I also think BBs did much of that the gen before them did. The stats back up that millennials are the largest group of non home owners of any recent generation. Of course some like to say it's because too many of us are entitled, lazy, etc etc without looking at the issues we've faced as a generation that are unique to us. You don't think following a disproportionately large generation (boomers) who retire late had impacted the job market? And who refuse to downsize, impacted the housing market? Just 2 examples. Then there was the fact that real estate almost doubled in this region around 1999 and never went back down. Pick up a book about what happened in real estate in 2008... when did any of that happen to the BBs? I know, I know, complaining won't fix anything, Abby.
As someone for whom it was not an option to live at my parents house in my early - mid 20s because one was dead and the other had no room for me (living with her own parents all bedrooms taken, long story) I'm having trouble relating to you as well. That said, I don't consider myself unsuccessful or even dissatisfied... can't someone make observations and vent frustration without being labeled an all around miserable person and now a failure? I also think BBs did much of that the gen before them did. The stats back up that millennials are the largest group of non home owners of any recent generation. Of course some like to say it's because too many of us are entitled, lazy, etc etc without looking at the issues we've faced as a generation that are unique to us. You don't think following a disproportionately large generation (boomers) who retire late had impacted the job market? And who refuse to downsize, impacted the housing market? Just 2 examples. Then there was the fact that real estate almost doubled in this region around 1999 and never went back down. Pick up a book about what happened in real estate in 2008... when did any of that happen to the BBs? I know, I know, complaining won't fix anything, Abby.
Uhhh.... Baby Boomers were alive and active in the real estate market in 2008, IIRC.
Guess what? They've worked, sacrificed, and saved for longer than you've been alive! They deserve it!
And, as for my suggestion- move to a cheaper area- it is feasible. And possible. It depends on your priorities. After college, I worked retail for a year before packing everything up and moving to a state I had never even been in before for a job in order to better my life. (This is after putting myself through college because I was raised by a single mom and we lived in an apartment. I moved out at 19 and I was contributing to the household financially at 16.) This is no different. You will not make a NYC salary if you move, but your buying power will increase with even with less money coming in. YOU choose to stay where you are. So YOU choose to live in the 700 sf home.
(FWIW- Some [most] studies consider me a Millennial. I'm usually in BOTH the Millennial and Gen-X ranges and I definitely identify as Gen-X- quite honestly because of entitled people- I am not one. I'm on my second home. By myself. No spouse. No roommate. I purchased my first at 25. Actually, we have low inventory here, too. I had to sacrifice on location for the home I currently own. It added another 15 minutes to my already 55 minute commute. Did you hear me whining? Nope.)
1. Not at the time they bought. Most of them did have easier circumstances in general (better inventory, etc, not even getting personal)
2. It's great that you have a transferable job. Some people work in banking, finance, or other specialized industries so that relocating to a lower COL area isn't feasible. You're probably right though that part of my frustration is feeling stuck because my husband won't (can't) move out of this area. If it were just me, I'd already be gone
3. I do hear you complaining, just a little though
it truly is all of our responsibility now, but it starts with the parents and the way the millennials were raised.
Obviously, nowhere close to all millennials are this way. But it does seem to be a distinguishing characteristic.
Millenials are the scape goats for the true problems -- BBs.
Millennials didn't cause a recession. It happened around the time the oldest were graduating college.
Millennials didn't cause the housing market crash.
We just had to deal with it, and all the while being berated and belittled by holier than thou BBs who keep shirking blame onto our shoulders.
My neighborhood is all elderly folks...probably in their 80's and 90's. SFH's, 1500-2000 sf, and mostly original owners to when the neighborhood was developed. Original owners who paid maybe $15K for their house new. For perspective, the homes are now valued in the $400-550 range.
Most have stayed independent. Since moving in, I've seen many stay put in their homes, only finally leaving due to deaths or going into an old age home. The house only gets sold once they have passed.
Anyway, I've attended the open houses just to get a sense of the neighborhood, and most are filled with older millennials. Early to mid 1980's born, a couple of toddlers clinging on the hip (FYI I am also an older millennial) and the eventually buyer does end up being one of these 80's born millennials. (xennials or whatever the new term is for them). Inventory is low, and the market is hot due to Boston being a good place to get a good-paying job, with low historical unemployment.
It's been an interesting change to watch the neighborhood change. There was a sense of peace and quiet that will soon be replaced by the sounds of young kids running around through the streets. Just this summer, we petitioned the local ice cream truck driver to begin driving through our neighborhoods again. Before, he previously cited lack of kids as the reason he stopped, but that has changed in the last 2 years.
It's a shame too because I've grown fond of my neighbors, and helping them out and hearing their stories of what the neighborhood was like in the 60's and 70's. The house to my left sits empty because that particular neighbor passed 2 months ago. Lovely lady who was very sweet. It's a little disheartening to see people descending on the home and leaving notes or inquiring if it's for sale. That's how tight the market it around here. Home hasn't been officially listed yet, but the state of the market has left people resorting to non-traditional methods to find one and make an offer that gets accepted. I imagine this will only continue to happen.
Problem is, there is no additional room to build in this state. As more high-tech companies locate here, and create good jobs attracting lots of young workers, there are no additional homes for them. As a result, it's year-over-year increase in home value and difficulty in buying.
This home is my second. In my early/mid 20's, I bought a condo. I had no problem selling that off when kids started coming along, but I will admit it was a challenge to find and buy our current home....almost frustration at times.
Thank you. You stayed pretty neutral but I get a sense you can relate to my frustration. It's a weird and exhausting market to even think about buying in. I don't want to start scouring obituaries to try to find a place to raise a family.
1. Not at the time they bought. Most of them did have easier circumstances in general (better inventory, etc, not even getting personal)
2. It's great that you have a transferable job. Some people work in banking, finance, or other specialized industries so that relocating to a lower COL area isn't feasible. You're probably right though that part of my frustration is feeling stuck because my husband won't (can't) move out of this area. If it were just me, I'd already be gone
3. I do hear you complaining, just a little though
Easier ? With 17-18% interest rates on mortgages ?
not only the mortgages , put soaring inflation and horrible stock and bond markets for a decade made saving and growing money near impossible for regular folks .
the grass always looks greener for some other generation but it never really was . every 20-30 years either us or the world does something so stupid or bad that it just shocks the economy like nothing else . been this way since the 1800's .
Last edited by mathjak107; 10-07-2017 at 05:41 AM..
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No easy task...
Just 2 examples. Then there was the fact that real estate almost doubled in this region around 1999 and never went back down. Pick up a book about what happened in real estate in 2008... when did any of that happen to the BBs? I know, I know, complaining won't fix anything, Abby. 
