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Yea just relax, keep working on your self improvement like you have, and plan fun activities for yourself and friends. Taking a break from dating is a good idea.. sometimes you need to just step back, clear your head , and make yourself happy without a relationship. Then one will happen when
you arent looking... it will be natural not forced. Good luck!
If you would actually welcome a rejection, you should consider it already done and move on. I mean, why so passive? Why wait around for your prophesy to fulfill itself?
Which is really what all of this is: Self-fulfilling prophesy. Anticipate that things will fall apart and usually they will.
Don't get me wrong. If you're having a string of bad luck, that's one thing. We've all had them. It's okay to take a break from dating.
But if you're sitting there thinking, "I know she's going to dump me, I know she's going to dump me, I know she's going to dump me," it's a sign you weren't ready to begin dating in the first place.
After a year of dating online, being tortured by the small handful of women I was actually interested in for about a week or two before receiving the long waited (and by then well desired) rejection.
It's not the rejection I fear. Sure, getting turned down by someone you like always stings a little bit, but I feel the actual words from someone rejecting you is like a bullet to your brain to finally end the misery: sure it will hurt for a brief moment but you'll be in a better place soon enough. This girl won't pull the trigger. This is the 4th girl to tease me with it, and she's taking the longest to do it, I've given her every opportunity to do it yet she won't, and I've realized she probably never will.
At least the first two girls called me on the phone to tell me. Sure, they waited a week or so to leave me hanging in the balance, but their bullets were quick, deep, effective. Easy to move on. 3rd girl that did this to me I felt like deserved little respect because she did it over a text msg. I didn't see it coming, but I could smell a scent of it before it came. Only now with this 4th girl that I would WELCOME a text rejection. Makes me feel like giving the 3rd girl a little more of a break than I had previously, as the 4th doesn't have an ounce of respect or courtesy. She's by far the worst because her last words to me were that she would let me take her out again. I can sit here and ask why but it won't get me anywhere, I've been down that road.
The answer to this is that I can't take a girl #5. I have a first meet/date lined up for Sunday that I'm going to cancel. I can't be unfair and see someone new when I've lost my desire and effort for this. The posibility that she could be a great girl that I like and end up seeing seriously doesn't hold enough weight to counter the fact she could be just as torturing, if not worse than the last (as the trend seems to be getting worse). I don't have any confidence in women right now to show respect or courtesy. A woman says she knows what she wants I laugh, she says she expects honesty I want to puke.
I won't subject myself to a 5th torture, the benefit doesn't outweigh the risk. I feel like I gave this a fair shot, I put forth a valid effort. I know I'm a great guy and I have a lot to offer in a relationship, and I don't doubt I could make someone very happy someday, it just won't be anytime soon. The standard has been shown to me that this is the way people are, and I am alone in my beliefs for expecting small amounts of respect. One occurrence is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, third time is just bad luck, four times means this is just how it is, and I hate it, it disgusts me, I never want to go on another date again.
I've got so many other things I've done so well at in recent months that I can't let something like dating stand in the way of, and it's threatening my overall attitude. I've started working out more, I've lost 15 lbs, I'm playing sports again, I'm moving in with some fun people/friends, and I'm signed up for guitar lessons again. I can't let these women continue to jeopardize that with their torture and bullsht. I'm clearly not meant for this, I believe in going after what you want in life, but it's been shown to me that dating, a relationship, a wife, a family....they are not part of my destiny.
I had to get this out there. I know I said I'd be done after the last one but I'm ending it now to make sure this doesn't continue. I can't deal with it, the indecency is too disgusting to bear anymore. I guess I'm just not strong enough for this.
Everyone struggles with something. This happens to be one of mine.
Maybe a lot of it is changing the thought process from "struggling" to maybe something along the lines of a process of life and living and learning.
People have given you a lot of good advice over time, you do seem to listen, but ultimately always end up chasing your tail over and over again about the same stuff.
You wont find complete happiness from other people. That's one of the biggest problems in this world is all these people looking for someone "to make them happy". Sounds like you need to take a break, step back and reassess without this constant pressure you put on yourself.
Women can tell when a guy is squirming and pushing. Best to ease back on the throttles and let it roll for a while.
After a year of dating online, being tortured by the small handful of women I was actually interested in for about a week or two before receiving the long waited (and by then well desired) rejection.
****snipped to keep it shorter****
I had to get this out there. I know I said I'd be done after the last one but I'm ending it now to make sure this doesn't continue. I can't deal with it, the indecency is too disgusting to bear anymore. I guess I'm just not strong enough for this.
I tend to agree with Whyte Byrd on this one. Dude, could you possibly be any more negative? I am totally bummed out just reading your post and I can't imagine what it would be like to go on a date with the "grim reaper".
Chill out and lighten up and have some fun will you? And please, good lord, stop whining and being such a downer! gads
You are way too all or nothing. Life is not always that black and white. Ask anyone else here or in the real world how many times they have been rejected in ways worse than you have.
If you are so sure that these women are going to dump you, perhaps you need to be more proactive and do the dumping first. Take some responsibility for the path your relationships follow - instead of constantly blaming them for your miserable dating life (that probably has relatively little to do with them).
OP, what is this really about? Are you having sex with these women, then they reject you? What's going on?
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