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When a girl is that young and a guy is that much older than her, I see red flags all over the place! What kind of 40-year-old wants to date a teenager? Not any 40-year-old that I would want near my teenager!
My first husband was 10 years older than I was when we married. It was a huge gap. We were so different in every way. At first, it was exciting. He was financially secure, outgoing and charming. I was a sheltered college kid. We had a lot of fun until children came into the picture. He didn't want to change or grow. He was very set in his ways and was from another generation than I was. All those things that were exciting about our age difference became annoying to both of us. It was all fine as long as I wanted to do things his way, but as soon as I had an opinion of my own...His ideas on how to raise kids, what kind of food to eat, what kind of music to listen to, what kind of entertainment, everything was from a different era than I grew up in.
I am now in my 40's, remarried, happy, secure. I cannot imagine having anything in common with someone in their 20's. Heck, I have kids that age! Once someone is old enough to be your father, I think it's an unhealthy relationship.
My first husband was 10 years older than I was when we married. It was a huge gap. We were so different in every way. At first, it was exciting. He was financially secure, outgoing and charming. I was a sheltered college kid. We had a lot of fun until children came into the picture. He didn't want to change or grow. He was very set in his ways and was from another generation than I was. All those things that were exciting about our age difference became annoying to both of us. It was all fine as long as I wanted to do things his way, but as soon as I had an opinion of my own...His ideas on how to raise kids, what kind of food to eat, what kind of music to listen to, what kind of entertainment, everything was from a different era than I grew up in.
Wow this sounds very similar to my situation (we have been together 9 years and there are 15 years between us - I am 30 now and he is 45).
In the beginning (and I mean the first 4 years or so!) I was absolutely besotted and worshipped him and all the wisdom he had to offer me. But as time has gone on it's had almost the opposite effect. We don't have kids but we have completely different views. I have grown so much in the past 9 years and he has stayed exactly the same.
He tends to tell me the same stories over and over and over and over again, even when I interrupt him halfway and say "yes, you've told me this", he keeps on going. I have no idea why, and I don't know if it has to do with age, but it's terribly annoying.
He tends to tell me the same stories over and over and over and over again, even when I interrupt him halfway and say "yes, you've told me this", he keeps on going. I have no idea why, and I don't know if it has to do with age, but it's terribly annoying.
Well, dear, most people run out of fresh stories after so many years... What do you think I and my coworkers of almost 10 years talk about?! Same crap!
Well, dear, most people run out of fresh stories after so many years... What do you think I and my coworkers of almost 10 years talk about?! Same crap!
Haha fair enough!
But he just TOTALLY ignores me and keeps going when I tell him you've told me this before, that's what I find kind of odd!
Wow this sounds very similar to my situation (we have been together 9 years and there are 15 years between us - I am 30 now and he is 45).
In the beginning (and I mean the first 4 years or so!) I was absolutely besotted and worshipped him and all the wisdom he had to offer me. But as time has gone on it's had almost the opposite effect. We don't have kids but we have completely different views. I have grown so much in the past 9 years and he has stayed exactly the same.
He tends to tell me the same stories over and over and over and over again, even when I interrupt him halfway and say "yes, you've told me this", he keeps on going. I have no idea why, and I don't know if it has to do with age, but it's terribly annoying.
I would be more worried about those "completely different views"
I would never encourage my own children (also around those ages) to date someone even more than about 5 years their senior. I think for many reasons the gap is too wide for anything to work long term. And to be honest, me being 40, I'd never date anyone younger than 30ish. (which is exactly what I'm doing). Now, if I were single, I'd have a "partner" no younger than 25 which wasn't uncommon for me in my single days but for a LTR, I feel strongly that you need someone closer in age even just for referencing life events, etc. With an age gap over 10 years evenm you may see something or read something and ask your partner, "hey remember....???" and they are going to look at you like you have two heads. LOL
If you are looking for a blanket statement, that is what I have always heard.
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