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I snapped out on my husband this morning. I did it last week, too. Needless to say I'm disappointed with myself. This morning I bugged because we missed the recycling truck. Yes, it's his job (so to speak). He normally takes it out in the morning. His schedule has changed so he missed it. I bugged out about it; yelled, had a fit, etc. But why should I give a flying fig? If it's so darn important I should take it out myself the night before. Another thing, last night I dumped my bag out all over the living room floor. I was looking for my keys and I had too much cr*p in my bag, so I dumped it and walked out the door to go get whatever bologna I wanted to go get.
Normally, I'd point to hormones, being tired, etc. If I'm chemically off I can feel it. The thing is there wasn't any emotion that made sense to me. Sure, there's anger involved I guess, but I question that because it didn't linger...at all. I can't even recall it. It seems like anger on the surface and just a pile of numb underneath.
On top of everything our anniversary is tomorrow. Meh, who knows. My cousin is getting married this Sat and he plans to have a special dedication for my brother. Maybe this is some weird grief thing I'm not in touch with.
Any way, this is in the relationship forums (rather than the health forums [mental health] lol) because my husband is so good. I go all Sybil on his ass and he comes back an hour later with an agenda to go to GNC for herbs and vitamins, that he loves me, and we'll just work around my banana brains. Look up "rolling with the punches" "going with the flow" "riding the wave" etc and his pic will be there.
So, what do you do when your spouse snaps out on you (if they ever do) and what do they do with your snap outs (if you ever snap)? Then, how can it be made up to the snappee?
I think it's wonderful that you own your "banana brains" (that was too cute).
I don't typically snap out on someone unless they are really out of line. When they did it, I'd usually respond with sarcasm. If he was in a bad mood, I'm sure I made it worse. I am rubber, you are glue, be crabby by yourself, bebeh.
My guy now is so even-keeled, I don't see it being a problem.
So, what do you do when your spouse snaps out on you (if they ever do) and what do they do with your snap outs (if you ever snap)? Then, how can it be made up to the snappee?
My man and I have a very simple sentence for one another in situations like this: "Don't be a jerk."
hmm you say your anniversary is tommrow maybe rent a room for the weekend at a nice B&B and leave all the household stuff behind and cells off and get to know each other again and try rekindle the love you first felt when you got married.
that woulb be a great way to make it up and remember why you too fell in lve in the first place make it a second honeymoon where it's just you your husband and your love for one another without all the outside distractions.
We've learned that escalating the issue makes it worse for either of us (and therefore for both of us), so 9 times out of 10, if one of us gets b*tchy, the other one ignores it or tries to soothe the situation. If he is really crabby, I leave him alone, try to figure out what I can do to help indirectly (like quiet the kids or pick up the front room so he can relax), or ask him what I can do. My reaction depends on the situation, and he does the same for me. He can tell when I am not myself and will help me figure out what's bugging me. Like you, I don't always know what it is.
I think in Chinese medicine the liver is the source of anger. Milk Thistle seems to help.
I have a sister that can explode into fury about the dumbest stuff. I can understand blowing your top about something significant, but about little things that don't amount to a hill of beans, big deal.
Sometimes we have to sit back and pick our battles. We also have to look at how we would feel if someone did that to us.
I snapped out on my husband this morning. I did it last week, too. Needless to say I'm disappointed with myself. This morning I bugged because we missed the recycling truck. Yes, it's his job (so to speak). He normally takes it out in the morning. His schedule has changed so he missed it. I bugged out about it; yelled, had a fit, etc. But why should I give a flying fig? If it's so darn important I should take it out myself the night before. Another thing, last night I dumped my bag out all over the living room floor. I was looking for my keys and I had too much cr*p in my bag, so I dumped it and walked out the door to go get whatever bologna I wanted to go get.
Normally, I'd point to hormones, being tired, etc. If I'm chemically off I can feel it. The thing is there wasn't any emotion that made sense to me. Sure, there's anger involved I guess, but I question that because it didn't linger...at all. I can't even recall it. It seems like anger on the surface and just a pile of numb underneath.
On top of everything our anniversary is tomorrow. Meh, who knows. My cousin is getting married this Sat and he plans to have a special dedication for my brother. Maybe this is some weird grief thing I'm not in touch with.
Any way, this is in the relationship forums (rather than the health forums [mental health] lol) because my husband is so good. I go all Sybil on his ass and he comes back an hour later with an agenda to go to GNC for herbs and vitamins, that he loves me, and we'll just work around my banana brains. Look up "rolling with the punches" "going with the flow" "riding the wave" etc and his pic will be there.
So, what do you do when your spouse snaps out on you (if they ever do) and what do they do with your snap outs (if you ever snap)? Then, how can it be made up to the snappee?
This is why I don't care for cohabiting romantic relationships, because over time, people gradually loose respect for each other for whatever reason.
Conversely, look at the relationship with your boss, or even a stranger, most people never fly off the handle, and the few that do only do it when it's absolutely necessarily.
Bottom line, there is a strong relationship between loosing your cool and that the amount of respect you have for that person.
I snapped out on my husband this morning. I did it last week, too. Needless to say I'm disappointed with myself. This morning I bugged because we missed the recycling truck. Yes, it's his job (so to speak). He normally takes it out in the morning. His schedule has changed so he missed it. I bugged out about it; yelled, had a fit, etc. But why should I give a flying fig?
Sounds like you don't have real problems. Count your blessings! And if this saint has a brother or a clone, gimme a holla!
And if this saint has a brother or a clone, gimme a holla!
Oh, so he's a "saint" for putting up with emotional outburst that was triggered by a trivial situation? I see. I guess he would be evil if he put his FOOT DOWN and did not tolerate that $$$!
Oh, so he's a "saint" for putting up with emotional outburst that was triggered by a trivial situation? I see. I guess he would be evil if he put his FOOT DOWN and did not tolerate that $$$!
Exactly. Let the shoe be on the other foot and some women will say he's being verbally abusive
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I snapped out on my husband this morning. I did it last week, too. Needless to say I'm disappointed with myself. This morning I bugged because we missed the recycling truck. Yes, it's his job (so to speak). He normally takes it out in the morning. His schedule has changed so he missed it. I bugged out about it; yelled, had a fit, etc. But why should I give a flying fig? If it's so darn important I should take it out myself the night before. Another thing, last night I dumped my bag out all over the living room floor. I was looking for my keys and I had too much cr*p in my bag, so I dumped it and walked out the door to go get whatever bologna I wanted to go get.
Normally, I'd point to hormones, being tired, etc. If I'm chemically off I can feel it. The thing is there wasn't any emotion that made sense to me. Sure, there's anger involved I guess, but I question that because it didn't linger...at all. I can't even recall it. It seems like anger on the surface and just a pile of numb underneath.
On top of everything our anniversary is tomorrow. Meh, who knows. My cousin is getting married this Sat and he plans to have a special dedication for my brother. Maybe this is some weird grief thing I'm not in touch with.
Any way, this is in the relationship forums (rather than the health forums [mental health] lol) because my husband is so good. I go all Sybil on his ass and he comes back an hour later with an agenda to go to GNC for herbs and vitamins, that he loves me, and we'll just work around my banana brains. Look up "rolling with the punches" "going with the flow" "riding the wave" etc and his pic will be there.
So, what do you do when your spouse snaps out on you (if they ever do) and what do they do with your snap outs (if you ever snap)? Then, how can it be made up to the snappee?
I hope you apologized to him because after all, you were in the wrong. It wasn't that serious to snap on him for something so trivial. Once the damage is done, it's done. Nothing you can say or do will erase what happened. Sorry, but you acted like a child. What grown-up in their right mind would yell, let alone throw a fit among other things? That was really childish. Your husband must really love you to endure that because some men wouldn't go for that. I know I wouldn't. I'd forgive, but to me the damage will already be done and there's no coming back from that; no matter how much you try to make up for it.
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hmm you say your anniversary is tommrow maybe rent a room for the weekend at a nice B&B and leave all the household stuff behind and cells off and get to know each other again and try rekindle the love you first felt when you got married.
And if this saint has a brother or a clone, gimme a holla!
