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I remember how shocked I was last year, when I was browsing profiles on match.com,how many guys in their thirties and forties started their desired age range at 18. I saw a few profiles of guys thirty five, who were open to dating an 18 year old, but NOT a fellow thirty five year old,or even a thirty year old.
I expect guys doing this are not interested in a continuing relationship. They are just looking for sex. There are several key words and tricky phrases the johns and lady prostitutes are using in dating sites to hookup. A person should be careful how they word their profiles/ types of pictures, to avoid running into them.
As to the rest it is not surprising that many do not read the whole requirements and profile. Most people hardly read anything. You spot it all the time in Forums where a person responds to a post and it's obvious they only read the first few words or perhaps just the title of a post. I see it when using classified ads in the newspaper. People will call up and ask about something I have placed for sale when the question they ask is in the ad itself!
Well, Match once again "auto-initiated" my profile, and I had to go in and disable the sucker. Just out of curiosity, I checked to see who viewed my profile, and ... gee, it's a bunch of MUCH OLDER GUYS.
Don't get so bent out of shape. All they did was look. It doesn't sound like they actually tried to email you or ask you out. It sounds like all they did was click on your profile to see more pictures or read your profile because something about your little thumbnail sized pic made them curious and want to learn more about you. You should be flattered.
I just signed up for match.com too. What I've learned is that the online dating world is much like the offline dating world. Guys of all ages probably check me out whether out at a bar or just at the grocery store, but I'm just usually oblivious or they are pretty unobvious about it. Now with something that is online with functions like being able to see who has looked at your profile, there is no more mystery as to who has been looking at you and has taken notice of you.
Be flattered. Men whether young or old look at women of ALL ages. It's what they do.
Two folks have gotten close, but I'm surprised no one has mentioned this after 8 pages.
Most guys can get a woman pregnant no matter how old they are (well at least the interior stuff stays in working order). Women have a harder time getting pregnant after 35 (and the risk of problems goes up a lot after 35 on top of that), and after menopause women can't get pregnant at all. If a guy gets to 50 and has decided he wants a family he has to go after women a lot younger than himself to begin with, and then you factor in the courtship, a few years married without kids, and he needs to go after even younger women still so she's not too old by the time she's ready to have kids.
Now yeah most guys probably don't wake up at 50 and decide they want to have kids. However, with the length of time it takes to get educated and established in the world getting longer and longer all the time there are probably a lot of guys in 30-40 year old range who do want families but previously had to devote too much time to school and/or work to get a woman his own age when he was younger.
Then they should be honest about that. Just say they're looking for a young brood mare so they can sire some kids because they were too busy just hooking up for sex all these years and now decided it's time to start a family.
The problem is - a lot of 20 year old women aren't going to want an old guy just so she can produce him some kids - unless he's got plenty of money to throw her way.
I expect guys doing this are not interested in a continuing relationship. They are just looking for sex. There are several key words and tricky phrases the johns and lady prostitutes are using in dating sites to hookup. A person should be careful how they word their profiles/ types of pictures, to avoid running into them.
As to the rest it is not surprising that many do not read the whole requirements and profile. Most people hardly read anything. You spot it all the time in Forums where a person responds to a post and it's obvious they only read the first few words or perhaps just the title of a post. I see it when using classified ads in the newspaper. People will call up and ask about something I have placed for sale when the question they ask is in the ad itself!
That makes sense. That's more likely the case than a guy deciding that after all the years of partying and easy women that he now wants to be getting up at 3 am to feed a crying baby because he finally decided it's time to settle down.
That makes sense. That's more likely the case than a guy deciding that after all the years of partying and easy women that he now wants to be getting up at 3 am to feed a crying baby because he finally decided it's time to settle down.
Just a thought -- a man who's spent years partying and getting together with easy women may decide it's finally time to settle down, and that someone else will always get up at 3 a.m. to feed a crying baby.
I am a gay man who is 26 and personally I prefer dating older men. In fact, all of the guys i've dated consistently have been in their 40s or early 50s. The reason? They are just more mature and easier to talk to - guys my own age for the most part are far too immature, don't have focus, and constantly play games. I have tried time and time again to go out and give guys my age a shot but it always crashes and burns before the plane even leaves the runway.
I think for most, they don't want someone their own age, because it's a reminder of their own age. And that's just sad. I have no qualms dating a guy my age, as long as he takes care of himself to the best of his abilities.
real late responce. its sometimes harder to relate though thats just me though
Well, Match once again "auto-initiated" my profile, and I had to go in and disable the sucker. Just out of curiosity, I checked to see who viewed my profile, and ... gee, it's a bunch of MUCH OLDER GUYS.
Look, I am not young; I am in my early 40s. I don't want to go out with someone who's 59, 60, 65+ for the same reason that I would never go out with a guy who's 20. Or even 30. The age difference is just too great. More than 20 years ... that's a generation gap.
I used to think that by the time guys reached their 40s, they'd be more realistic. But it never ends. I didn't want to date a 40-year-old guy when I was 20, and I don't want to date a 60-year-old when I'm 40. Insult to injury, I inherited the "youth" gene from my mom, so I easily pass for 30. Some of these guys would look like my grandfather. Four years younger, four years older. That's what I would prefer, and that's yet another reason I'm not on Match anymore.
What is there to understand about this?
Why do men do this? Why can't they be happy with someone their own age?
Did you ever consider that they viewed your profile to find out how old you were, and dismissed you when they found out?
Now, if they messaged you, you'd be right to take offense.
Just like I take offense when I clearly state I'm looking for someone local and get messages from people who are out of state (and probably scammers, on top of it).
Even though this is old, and I just read the first and last page, I'll add my $0.02:
Part of it is Biological and some is historical (Years ago the 40 year old would marry the teen girl, cause it took that long to be able to provide etc.)
I personally have dated 13 years up, and 5 years down.
-When I dated 5 down she was 19... Not interested/mature enough for me.
I'm open to date women from 18-40.
It depends on THEM.
A Friend of mine, a woman a couple years younger than me, is dating a guy who is a grandfather (A young one, but his kids are about her age)
She likes older men.
When we met it was a interesting occurance due to the VERY strong attraction between us. (I think/act like a much older man)
I told her 'no pressure' as I didn't want to have her break up if she was happy.
Took her over a month to decide, and we're just friends (She can't even be around me that much... she's that attracted.)
Our loss.
But she's quite mature for her age. I'd be happy to get a woman like her at any age.
Some people like an age gap, and it works both ways. (Was the woman 11 years older than me when I was 22 doing me any harm? I think NOT!)
Why 'hate' on them, just hope their happy.
Oh, almost forgot. Menopause and all that play a roll....
Seriously, though, it's weird. Let's see, the biggest age difference between me and a guy I've dated was about 6 years, and I was the elder of us. The times I've dated a guy older than me he was usually only a year or two older, and that's only a couple of times. Usually I've dated guys either within a year of my age (either direction) or maybe up to 3 years younger. Right now I've been in a relationship for 10 years with a guy not quite a year younger than I am.
BUT...
It is on its way out. I care about him, but in the past ten years I've grown and matured in a lot of ways, especially in my tastes and my interests, and he largely hasn't. For example, I would absolutely love to spend time visiting museums, or enjoying cultural activities, or even just going out for a nice dinner and a movie, just the two of us, dressed nice and acting like ADULTS, for cryin' out loud. His life, however, revolves around Facebook, professional sports, and okay, maybe political shows on TV. If we go out, it usually is with a group, and then he spends as much time or more talking to the other people than to me. Not that we have a lot in common anymore to talk about, because I have probably two or three times as many interests as he does, and our conversations always wind up having to be limited to sports and politics. Also, when something goes wrong in his day, he melts down like a 3 year old in need of nap. It's like he's never quite learned that the world does not always cater to everybody's whims, which most people learn by the time they're 20, at least. Seriously, he yells at traffic lights for turning red. My patience is exhausted.
This is a 45 year old man who I swear has not matured one iota since he was 35, and from what his friends tell me, he was like this at 25.
I want a man, not a boy. Not a guy 15 or 20 years older than me, and not even necessarily 10 years older than me. Heck, he can be 5 years younger if he acts older, you know? I don't have kids and won't produce kids, though I would under the right conditions be willing to be a stepparent or adopt kids, but at 46 I'm not making anybody any babies.
I guess my real question is this: am I being too picky? Am I chalking elements of my SO's personality up to immaturity when maybe they aren't immature? Is his behavior normal for a guy of 45, or what? I keep envisioning finding someone I can have intelligent conversations with about something other than sports or politics all the time, who behaves like a gentleman, has a mature outlook on life, and will treat me like a lady he is interested in for my own sake as a person and as a woman, not like a drinking buddy who happens to be female. And yes, some damn good sex would be nice too. Can't get my current guy to peel off his logo sports jersey long enough to do that, either. He's fun to talk to if you want to discuss football or baseball or political topics, but those aren't enough to scratch every itch, if you get my drift. I feel like an adult woman paired up with a guy who stopped developing by the age of 25 or 30.
Or maybe I'm just whining. *shrug* I can't even tell anymore, and that's scary, too.
Last edited by CoffeeChick; 01-30-2011 at 01:45 AM..
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