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I don't believe in marrying young. Or old. Or middle aged. Or staying unmarried. I believe in doing whatever feels right for you.
Yes, but.
If you read through the tales of woe on this forum, you see one person after another getting into one stupid pickle after another because they did what felt right.
My husband was 20, I was 19 and we got married after knowing each other for 4 months. We've been married almost 7 years now. Sure, we could have waited and done all these things while we were still young.
But our daughter will be out of high school when we are 38 and 39 years old. We have our retirement accounts already set up and are contributing enough to retire in our 50's with several million dollars saved up. So we could have remained single, broke, and trying to do a lot of things, or we can retire younger than most and have money to do whatever we want. I'd do it all over again this way if I had to.
Who says you would be broke if you remained single?
We never are truly "grown up" (maturity is a life-long, and sometimes bidirectional, process), but we reach a certain point of maturity - both emotional and economic - where marriage becomes advisable.
For most middle-class people in our society, I would say this is between 25 and 30 years. Getting a bachelor's degree has almost become de rigeur for the middle class and above, and many even then continue on their education. Going to graduate or professional school right after getting a B.A. or B.S. really isn't compatible with starting a family (which in my mind, should be synonymous with marriage). However, once you've acquired a house, stable job, and a bit of an emergency fund, I think you're ready (because by that point in time you're usually sufficiently emotionally mature as well).
As for the working class, you can still find decent jobs (at least up here) when you are 20 or 21, but it seems that most people of this age in our culture are not yet emotionally ready for marriage, hence all the divorces one sees today.
A counter-argument (from a Catholic perspective) could be that it is very difficult - bordering on impossible for some (especially for men) - to contain their sexual urges for several years while they are at their strongest.
Who says you would be broke if you remained single?
I would, because I was broke when I was single. I wasn't really doing much to change my situation because I was able to survive and didn't have a desire to really do more about it until I got married.
When I was single I lacked the motivation to save money to do things I wanted to do.
There's no reason for me to think that would have changed if I had continued to remain single.
People change more between the ages of 20-30 than at any other age.
In the old days, marrying young was fine was because many were virgins and the stigma against having pre-marital sex (with no reliable birth control), was strong. Now, obviously no such stigmas exist anymore.
I would never advise anyone to marry before 30, there's no need to. If you fall in love with someone at 20 and you're still together 10 years later, go ahead and marry. But 20 or 25 is too young to marry!
I married at 21 and do not regret it. I have now been married 18 years by the way. Young marriage used to be the norm, not the exception. Now it is considered taboo to marry before 25, and most wait until 30. This is in line with modern morality (or lack therof), which allows for one to play the field and sleep around for over 10 years of extra adolecence. Marrying young does not prevent anyone from going to college, getting a job or becoming finacially stable, although having children young can. Since the sleezy behaivor of most singles leads to children out of wedlock anyway I would say early marriage is not the obstical to finacial stability. Since we know that most people over 20 will not stay celebate and study and prepare for resposible adulthood, what then is expected of them???? MTV tv show Jersey shore seems to provide an example of what happens in those extra years to mature and grow up. By the time most of these people have reached the ideal modern marriage age of 30 they will likely have slept with at least 30 people. SHAME! In my opinion early marriage should encourage loyalty and responsibility, and allows two young people to live a life that is not openly sinful. I never have felt I gave anything up by marrying at 21, in fact it has been a blessing to my life. In this economy it is kind of rediculous anyway to think that todays 20 year old will be some kind of career man by 30, likely he will have the same kind of dead end job he has today. The days of a good career are over for most Americans, be happy you have a job and move on with your life. Spending 4 years accumulating 100k in student debt will not change the economic reality of todays job market. There are nowhere near enough of those professional level jobs young people expect to go around for all college grads. There is more to life than chasing that nonesense anyway.
If you read through the tales of woe on this forum, you see one person after another getting into one stupid pickle after another because they did what felt right.
You're so wise.
There are also tons of people who did what felt right for them and had a really happy life full of love. *shrug*
I'd rather take a chance and jump in than be "safe" forever.
Of course there are ways to be smarter about decisions in life, but it can also make you miss out on a lot and not truly live if you are overly safe and cautious. Lots of things in life may not work out, but you still have to try! And that requires taking risks at times. Especially when it comes to love. By definition it isn't "safe". imo at least! But what do I know, I'm not the oldest person in the world so I'm probably wrong and others know better! :P
I married at 21 and do not regret it. I have now been married 18 years by the way. Young marriage used to be the norm, not the exception. Now it is considered taboo to marry before 25, and most wait until 30. This is in line with modern morality (or lack therof), which allows for one to play the field and sleep around for over 10 years of extra adolecence. Marrying young does not prevent anyone from going to college, getting a job or becoming finacially stable, although having children young can. Since the sleezy behaivor of most singles leads to children out of wedlock anyway I would say early marriage is not the obstical to finacial stability. Since we know that most people over 20 will not stay celebate and study and prepare for resposible adulthood, what then is expected of them???? MTV tv show Jersey shore seems to provide an example of what happens in those extra years to mature and grow up. By the time most of these people have reached the ideal modern marriage age of 30 they will likely have slept with at least 30 people. SHAME! In my opinion early marriage should encourage loyalty and responsibility, and allows two young people to live a life that is not openly sinful. I never have felt I gave anything up by marrying at 21, in fact it has been a blessing to my life. In this economy it is kind of rediculous anyway to think that todays 20 year old will be some kind of career man by 30, likely he will have the same kind of dead end job he has today. The days of a good career are over for most Americans, be happy you have a job and move on with your life. Spending 4 years accumulating 100k in student debt will not change the economic reality of todays job market. There are nowhere near enough of those professional level jobs young people expect to go around for all college grads. There is more to life than chasing that nonesense anyway.
Yes... let us all bow to your moral superiority and wise ways.
My whole life must be some kind of anomaly. I was married young but had plenty of sexual partners (didn't keep track) before I got married. Oops. And I had no children out of wedlock because, despite being 18-19 years old at the time I had multiple partners I still understood what it meant to practice safe sex. My husband is 27 and has a career where is continually advancing. Neither one of us have a college degree, yet we live a stable middle class life. And both of us know how to spell "ridiculous".
Maybe next time you should try stepping off your pedestal before posting, it might help people not want to gag while reading your post.
The main reason I disagree with marrying young is this:
A lot of young people these days are dependent on their parents. I think people should wait until they're financially stable to get married. If you can't support yourself, what makes you think you're ready for marriage?
Yes... let us all bow to your moral superiority and wise ways.
My whole life must be some kind of anomaly. I was married young but had plenty of sexual partners (didn't keep track) before I got married. Oops. And I had no children out of wedlock because, despite being 18-19 years old at the time I had multiple partners I still understood what it meant to practice safe sex. My husband is 27 and has a career where is continually advancing. Neither one of us have a college degree, yet we live a stable middle class life. And both of us know how to spell "ridiculous".
Maybe next time you should try stepping off your pedestal before posting, it might help people not want to gag while reading your post.
Just curious...what type of career does your husband have where he's so successful without a college degree?
If there's a way to be successful without college, I want to know
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