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I guess I just need to vent. I have 3 kids. Last night I left my husband alone with my 9 1/2 month old so that I could go and put my 2 1/2 year old to sleep. My 9 month old has just started crawling and we were just about to babyproof the house. When I came downstairs I found my husband asleep and my daughter crawling towards the stairs.
I picked her up and woke my husband up and told him how upset I was and that he shouldn't have fallen asleep while watching the 9 month old and that she could have fallen down the stairs. He didn't seem to think it was a big deal.
My mom called today and I was venting about it. He was asleep in the living room again and I went downstairs into the laundry room to tell her about it. I don't know how but he overheard it and now he is giving me the silent treatment. We were supposed to go to dinner for our 9 year anniversary as we never get to go out and now he doesn't want to go with me anymore. I'm so upset. Whenever he gets upset he give me the silent treatment.
I guess I just need to vent. I have 3 kids. Last night I left my husband alone with my 9 1/2 month old so that I could go and put my 2 1/2 year old to sleep. My 9 month old has just started crawling and we were just about to babyproof the house. When I came downstairs I found my husband asleep and my daughter crawling towards the stairs.
I picked her up and woke my husband up and told him how upset I was and that he shouldn't have fallen asleep while watching the 9 month old and that she could have fallen down the stairs. He didn't seem to think it was a big deal.
My mom called today and I was venting about it. He was asleep in the living room again and I went downstairs into the laundry room to tell her about it. I don't know how but he overheard it and now he is giving me the silent treatment. We were supposed to go to dinner for our 9 year anniversary as we never get to go out and now he doesn't want to go with me anymore. I'm so upset. Whenever he gets upset he give me the silent treatment.
Going forward, vent here.
Also, does he do shift work or have sleep apnea or something? Sounds like he can't stay awake for any length of time.
Sorry he's being juvenile about discussing it by giving you the silent treatment. I would cancel the babysitter and then spend my evening with a good book or movie, or maybe listen to some tunes on a headset--something absorbing that shuts him out for the night. Or, if your parents were supposed to babysit, take the kids over there anyway, and then go out with some girlfriends or something. If he wants silence, let him have it and let him see how it feels. There's no sense knocking yourself out.
Last edited by Yzette; 08-21-2010 at 02:20 PM..
Reason: "awake," not "away." I can haz typo?
A running joke in my family was that whenever I would leave the kids in my husbands care to go out and do something the first thing I would hear when I got back was "I don't know how it happened but....". I'm convinced he just didn't know that our kids were actually self aware for the longest time and considered them "decorations"! LOL. Fortunately nothing horrible happened.
The silent treatment is immature. Don't even TRY to get through to him. Just carry on as usual and soon he will feel ridiculous.
Also, does he do shift work or have sleep apnea or something? Sounds like he can't stay away for any length of time.
Sorry he's being juvenile about discussing it by giving you the silent treatment. I would cancel the babysitter and then spend my evening with a good book or movie, or maybe listen to some tunes on a headset--something absorbing that shuts him out for the night. Or, if your parents were supposed to babysit, take the kids over there anyway, and then go out with some girlfriends or something. If he wants silence, let him have it and let him see how it feels. There's no sense knocking yourself out.
Thanks Avienne! He does have sleep apnea but he uses a cpap machine so he is treating it. I'm sorry to say it but he's also lazy and I don't understand how he couldn't stay awake for 20 minutes to watch his child.
He is really overweight too and has no energy whatsoever. I never make any remarks to him about his weight though.
I think you have a right to be upset. Your child could of been injured badly by taking a fall down a flight of stairs. Yikes. It's not to much of you to ask the father of the child....to watch it while you take care of the other one. However, some of the biggest problems I see happen is when we run to our families and tattle on our spouses, I'm not nailing you girlfriend, I've done it too and my husband has been mad, and he has done the same and I have been mad, But....life's short and you only have one 9 year anniversary. I would try to talk it out and go have fun with each other while you have a babysitter. If he's to mad at you to wish you a Happy Anniversary well, I'll say it. HAPPY ANIVERSARY :0)
I think you have a right to be upset. Your child could of been injured badly by taking a fall down a flight of stairs. Yikes. It's not to much of you to ask the father of the child....to watch it while you take care of the other one. However, some of the biggest problems I see happen is when we run to our families and tattle on our spouses, I'm not nailing you girlfriend, I've done it too and my husband has been mad, and he has done the same and I have been mad, But....life's short and you only have one 9 year anniversary. I would try to talk it out and go have fun with each other while you have a babysitter. If he's to mad at you to wish you a Happy Anniversary well, I'll say it. HAPPY ANIVERSARY :0)
I have to agree here.. tattling to your mom or dad or whoever it was.. was not appropiate.. I think you did your thing by telling him what a moron he was for falling asleep.. but thats where it should have stayed.. between you and him.. Now if he is doing something that is not appropriate such as (beating on you or other things that are not good) then it is appropriate to go tattling...
Next time think about what you are doing before you do it.. reprimand him if you need but keep it between you and him..
I certainly wouldn't cancel my plans to go to dinner even if it was alone. You've already got a sitter lined up so why not take this time just for you. Sure, you are supposed to be celebrating your anniversary but if he's acting childish and giving you the silent treatment then he can stay at home with the kids...he will be in good company.
Go out, enjoy dinner, perhaps a glass of wine and just unwind. When he's ready to act like an adult and talk, be honest about your feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment, etc. and let him know regardless of his sleep disorder, he is a parent and that is priority number one. The children's lives depend on him and he's got to do better.
Lisa,
I wouldn't want my wife discussing family things with her mother. There are things to tell your mom, and there are things to keep to yourself. Discussing your husbands behavior is not your mother's business, and it is a darn sure way to cause a problem with your husband. As now you know. As you grow older you will learn husbands and wives have to work together to keep a marriage in tact. Enough of these little things that might seem petty to you, add up. Confide your feelings in your husband, not your mother. Try putting him first in your life, you might find that makes a worthwhile difference.
I agree with the above post.
Stop shopping the issue around, honestly are you not just trying to find someone who will justify you?
BTW I raised three little door steps....
Go a little easier on yourself and your loving husband.
Get dressed and get out of the house with him, soon you will be laughing about it. Buy him a roll of duct tape, say it is for "next time"
Raising kids is harddd work!
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