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Damn...I guess I'd be the "You" in this conversation. 1.) I forget everything and 2.) I do nothing but watch football on Sundays. (dont even try to talk to me!). I must be doomed!
2. Learn to be a "cool" jerk. A lot of guys think being a jerk means you have to treat girls like crap. While some girls do like to be treated like crap, many others don't. But all girls seem to have a soft spot for a guy who is a jerk, but in a cool, detached way. You should always be a little disagreeable and resistant sometimes for no good reason at all. Just take an extreme position on some delicate, but not too controversial issue, that strikes right at the heart of a woman's value system. For example, if she starts talking about her older female cousin who got engaged, say something like...
I think that's the hardest thing for me, like it's genuinely difficult for me to come off as a 'cool' jerk. I normally come off as simply a 'nice guy' and I think if I tried to come off as a 'cool jerk' I'd end up coming off as 'total douchenozzle.'
I like Urban's advice (yours is good too though), it doesn't require advanced psychological tactics
OK it's easy to talk to women, it really is. The part that makes it hard is self created. A belief in fear over a belief in confidence. There's no quick cure other than keep trying to talk to women despite failures. I was once painfully shy, wondered what tactics to use and what not. I eventually learned that thinking so much wasn't working. So I started just talking to women about anything and everything. At first I wound up in the friend zone which was fine as I was learning how to start and carry conversations.
Be affirmative in your actions and cool in your demeanor. If she says no, just say, "cool, maybe I'll see you around sometime" or "Alright, well you take care" then just turn around and walk away like you don't care.........because you don't care. Whether she says yes or no doesn't matter. The devestation or elation you feel is only based on the importance you give it.
If you feel rejection is so hard that you can't move well it's because you allow it that kind of power over you. Much like if you feel you can walk up to any person and talk to them as if you've known them for years it's because you have chosen to be that way.
Choose to get to know women personally. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Screw the word "no" and move on to someone who does want to talk to you and go out. Oh and for God's sake don't worry about her reaction when you say hi. Just go with it.
I think that's the hardest thing for me, like it's genuinely difficult for me to come off as a 'cool' jerk. I normally come off as simply a 'nice guy' and I think if I tried to come off as a 'cool jerk' I'd end up coming off as 'total douchenozzle.'
I like Urban's advice (yours is good too though), it doesn't require advanced psychological tactics
I know what you mean. When you really like a girl, the nice guy sorta oozes out of you.
Alright, so here's a "non-advanced psychological tactic" that just might work.
--
[As you guys leave class, run up behind her quickly and say]
You: Hey
Her: Hey
You: There's something in your hair.
Her: Really? [strokes hair] Is it gone?
You: No. It's on the other side.
Her: [keeps picking at hair and looking silly]
You: It's gone.
Her: Thanks.
You: Actually, I liked that look on you. It matched your belt. But you're welcome.
--
Anytime we look stupid, whether it's a fart, getting embarassed in class, or falling down a flight of stairs, we feel less attractive. If you go this route, she'll be much more receptive to your advances. You level the playing field and you can just flow into a regular convo.
I know what you mean. When you really like a girl, the nice guy sorta oozes out of you.
Alright, so here's a "non-advanced psychological tactic" that just might work.
--
[As you guys leave class, run up behind her quickly and say]
You: Hey
Her: Hey
You: There's something in your hair.
Her: Really? [strokes hair] Is it gone?
You: No. It's on the other side.
Her: [keeps picking at hair and looking silly]
You: It's gone.
Her: Thanks.
You: Actually, I liked that look on you. It matched your belt. But you're welcome.
--
Anytime we look stupid, whether it's a fart, getting embarassed in class, or falling down a flight of stairs, we feel less attractive. If you go this route, she'll be much more receptive to your advances. You level the playing field and you can just flow into a regular convo.
What you're seeing here is a nice guy approach without being creepy. You call her out for her hair (though nothing is there) which means you're not putting her so high on a pedestal that you feel you can't point out a flaw. However, at the same time you're taking that flaw and making it sound like something that she shouldn't feel self conscious of. So you've broken the ice here.
You can now either carry on a conversation or walk away. If you choose to walk away make the conscious choice to speak to her again.
What you're seeing here is a nice guy approach without being creepy. You call her out for her hair (though nothing is there) which means you're not putting her so high on a pedestal that you feel you can't point out a flaw. However, at the same time you're taking that flaw and making it sound like something that she shouldn't feel self conscious of. So you've broken the ice here.
You can now either carry on a conversation or walk away. If you choose to walk away make the conscious choice to speak to her again.
Exactly. Although the last part is tongue-in-cheek. You want to put her on the defensive. Usually, it's us that's on the defensive. Ex. ("Excuse me, I was just wondering...if I could...Would you like?)
It's like the episode of Seinfeld when George got caught naked by the girl he liked. He then started urging Jerry to go to the girl and tell her about "shrinkage."
George: I'm bigger than that. You know that, Jerry! I just got out of a pool. Did you tell her about "shrinkage?"
Jerry: No!
George: You've gotta tell her about shrinkage, Jerry!!!!
Really? Because I think that approach is pretty creepy. Not all women are going to respond to that PUA neg crap.
Why do you call it "PUA neg crap?" It's just a way to start a conversation.
He could say, "Hi. My name is Hurricane DC. I think you are pretty. Would you like to go out on a date?"
Most of us tried these lines back in junior high and high school and discovered they didn't work. Not only would this line not work on a girl you want to date, it wouldn't work on a guy you were simply trying to build a little camraderie with.
I mean, you could be in a class and just mention to another dude: "Yo, is it just me, or does this dude sound like Rodney Dangerfield?"
Or you could just turn to the random dude and say: "Hi!"
Really? Because I think that approach is pretty creepy. Not all women are going to respond to that PUA neg crap.
isn't the whole point of a "neg" to basically demean the person? Bajan's suggestion sounded more like simply pointing something out that she'd appreciate (chicks don't like having **** in their hair) and then jokingly saying that it looked good with her outfit.
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