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I'm in a long-term relationship, in which have fallen in love with a Christian woman. I'm an experienced male nearing his 30s, while she is in her early twenties. The frustration here is...she wants to wait. In my opinion, I think it's complete bs to pay for a wedding just to get some sex-- although we've done other things, kudos to my efforts. Weddings and marriage make no sense to me. The American dream of having an expensive wedding just for a couple to stay together for their whole life is so completely irrational in my opinion. I will wait...but it's just such a sad story for my little-me.
MALE-ONLY THREAD.
I think that's your problem. If you're dating a serious and devout Christian girl, you'll never get inside of her pants unless she's pressured or she'll do it on her own will. I agree with thebobs, a no means NO! (at least for me too). Perhaps that's why a lot of young (Christian) ladies want to get marry early so that they can...
Remember a wedding is more than just about sex. It is about a commitment and partnership that is to last a lifetime. If you can't accept that mate as they are right now then walk away.
I do believe that children should be raised in a loving home with two parents.
However if an adult is okay with waiting a decade or two decades to have sex; there is a serious possibility this adult may be asexual. And simply have no drive to ever have sex again.
I know asexual people, they do exist. Sex once in their lifetime to see what it is all about. And that is enough for them.
Are you prepared, for the possibility that you may be marrying an asexual person?
If after a month of marriage they simply decide it is icky, and they want to be celibate, how will you handle that?
Years of counseling later will you still be okay with it?
I'm in a long-term relationship, in which have fallen in love with a Christian woman. I'm an experienced male nearing his 30s, while she is in her early twenties. The frustration here is...she wants to wait. In my opinion, I think it's complete bs to pay for a wedding just to get some sex-- although we've done other things, kudos to my efforts. Weddings and marriage make no sense to me. The American dream of having an expensive wedding just for a couple to stay together for their whole life is so completely irrational in my opinion. I will wait...but it's just such a sad story for my little-me.
MALE-ONLY THREAD.
Just keep bugging her, poke her pry her, just act like a big ole pig in heat. And if she doesnt give it to you go get it some where else and move on. Because If you really loved her, this would not be an issue for you, I was in the same boat and I managed fine. And yes, totally worth the wait. Wouldn't trade it for any of the trixies and practice girlsfrom back in high school and college.
I do believe that children should be raised in a loving home with two parents.
However if an adult is okay with waiting a decade or two decades to have sex; there is a serious possibility this adult may be asexual. And simply have no drive to ever have sex again.
I know asexual people, they do exist. Sex once in their lifetime to see what it is all about. And that is enough for them.
Are you prepared, for the possibility that you may be marrying an asexual person?
If after a month of marriage they simply decide it is icky, and they want to be celibate, how will you handle that?
Years of counseling later will you still be okay with it?
The women in question is only in her early 20s. It's presumptuous to suggest she is sexually abnormal for daring to live with conviction.
There is another issue here, and that is that the OP is probably lying to his girlfriend about his own sexual history. A deeply religious woman who believes that sex should only take place within marriage isn't likely to want to marry some dude who's nailed half the girls in his high school and their sisters. She may overlook it if he's not a virgin -- the operative word here being "may" -- but anything more than that would be a huge turnoff. She'll see him as a walking STD factory, wonder about all the children he's fathered out of wedlock (whether he knows about them or not), and assume that he has poor impulse control thus making him a lousy husband. In addition, inasmuch as she is disgusted by women she sees as "floosies", rest assured she is equally disgusted by any man who'd sleep with one. I spent some time in an Orthodox Jewish community, and like it or not, this is how women who want to wait until marriage think. They expect their husbands to be comparably, if not equally, virtuous.
There is enough difference in your thinking and her thinking, that I would stop and seriously decide just what is important. If you can't accept her wishes and desires now, how do you think you will ever be able to? This won't be the last thing you both don't agree on. If I were you, I would move on. If you loved her enough to put her wishes first, you wouldn't be upset with waiting. Her religious beliefs are not important now, they will never be important to you. Let someone who really deserves her and can cherish her find her.
There are reasons to wait.....and reasons to walk away. You need to weigh the pros and cons. Write them all down over several days and think about it.
Social mores have changed for most people. I'm basically a moral person but I've experienced a long term sexless marriage that changed my perspective.
If you tell me all I can have to eat is cheerios for the rest of my life, you can bet I want a sample before I make that commitment. Also I'd want to know that my partner loved cheerios.....a lot.
I think some people have used the wait for marriage ploy to cover up the fact that they don't care for sex. I'd have to make sure that wasn't true even if I agreed to wait.
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