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Huck, love ya, bro.
But all the women's movement did is make sure that women didn't have to be trapped in their unhappy marriages anymore. If that increased the divorce rate, then so be it.
Even though I complain about divorce rates, I'm completely fine with this consequence as well. I'd just prefer that people can't profit from leaving a marriage even if it was their fault or the other spouse did nothing wrong.
I think it makes perfect sense that younger people would have higher divorce rates these days.
It used to be that marriage was pretty much 1. not optional if you waned social acceptance, 2. had clearly defined gender roles, 3. hard to get out of both legally and socially and 4. it was the only acceptable way to have children. It was way less complicated in a way since it was a matter of picking someone by the defacto deadline, playing your assigned role and leaving was not really an option even if things got very bad. You were stuck with each other and people expected that going in.
Modern marriage is nothing like that. Marriage is a choice, there is no real timetable by which to do it, folks expect the marriage to be emotionally satisfying and people make up their own rules for each union. So to make it work you have to 1. Know yourself pretty well to make a good choice for you beyond "good provider" and "good mother" 2. be mature enough to handle the constant negotiation and renegotiation that it takes to stay happy together long term. There is no system built to force y'all to stay together while you both grow up nor is there social pressure to mature early. You have to get there own your own, and life experience helps a lot in that regard.
You sure your preconceived notions are not clouding your opinion? You assume that southern states everyone gets married at 19 and lives to a ripe of old age together. The other, and more plausible notions is, if they do marry at a young age the rates are just as high if not higher.
It doesn't cast things in a negative light, like you assert.
The first chart shows divorce rate highest among the 22 to 24 group. No matter how you dice it up shows younger marriages have a high chance of failure.
Have you ever considered though that certain parties may have a vested conflict of interest, in ensuring that younger marriages are unsuccessful (because it hits their financial bottom line)? For example: let's take the college industry -- I would speculate that colleges happen to like ppl marrying older and preferably post-college, b/c younger marriages are inevitably going to influence the maximum amount of money they can make from them. Ditto with the mainstream entertainment industry -- I think it would be very likely that that if everyone were to theoretically start marrying younger again, the entertainment industry would take a big hit in the pocketbook, b/c youth cultural values would no longer project the image that they are trying to "sell" to young ppl.
Certain parties do not want ppl marrying younger and even favor younger marriages being inherently unsuccessful, and so they fix the facts to fit the circumstances, rather than the other way around...the system is fundamantally "rigged" this way today, against and in oppostion to younger marriages...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 03-21-2012 at 09:58 AM..
Reason: Fixed typos
Personally, I changed so much between the ages of 18 and 24 or 25. Actually - even up until my later 20's. I think many people experience this. I don't think it's something you can recognize while you are going through it - but it something that most people realize after the fact. Sometimes, when you are in a relationship during this age range - you grow together. And sometimes you grow apart. If you get married and you grow apart - this can often lead to divorce. If you don't get married - then all you have to do is break up. I think it's much easier to just wait a few years and see if you have grown together or apart. Most of the younger people that I know that are divorced got married when they were in their early 20's. Most of the older people that I know that got divorced did so because of infidelities that didn't come out until later in life.
Here's my take on marriage - it's better to wait until you are at least in your mid to late 20's - but even so there are no guarantees. Also - who cares about the freakin' divorce rate? If you marry for love and you are willing to give it your all - that's all that matters. There are no guarantees in life. And to be honest - divorce isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. If you are a survivor - you will pick up and move on.
Have you ever considered though that certain parties may have a vested conflict of interest, in ensuring that younger marriages are unsuccessful (because it hits their financial bottom line)? For example: let's take the college industry -- I would speculate that colleges happen to like ppl marrying older and preferably post-college, b/c younger marriages are inevitably going to influence the maximum amount of money they can make from them. Ditto with the mainstream entertainment industry -- I think it would be very likely that that if everyone were to theoretically start marrying younger again, the entertainment industry would take a big hit in the pocketbook, b/c youth cultural values would no longer project the image that they are trying to "sell" to young ppl.
Certain parties do not want ppl marrying younger and even favor younger marriages being inherently unsuccessful, and so they fix the facts to fit the circumstances, rather than the other way around...the system is fundamantally "rigged" this way today, against and in oppostion to younger marriages...
No, hardly sound reasoning there. Thanks for trying. I wasn't the same person at 22 that I am at 34. Most people state that. Many people want to do certain things before marrying later on in life. That is not a bad thing. Contrary to you assertions.
There is nothing wrong with exploring life, what you really like, what you look for in a mate. It is better to take time instead of rushing into this.
It isn't about capitalization on the 20 something demographic. It is about taking time and being careful about choosing a mate. It looks according to data presented that doing that shows a lower divorce rate. That tends to be the trend in several studies. So by the looks of things your feeble theory doesn't hold up. Sorry.
I think it's much easier to just wait a few years and see if you have grown together or apart.
Bingo. There is no incentive anymore to marry early even if you've found what you think is "the one". There is no stigma in having sex outside marriage, moving in together first, being single in your late 20's... none. So more people wait, and I think that's the smart thing to do. I think htings are a lot better now than they were then in that regard.
No, hardly sound reasoning there. Thanks for trying. I wasn't the same person at 22 that I am at 34. Most people state that. Many people want to do certain things before marrying later on in life. That is not a bad thing. Contrary to you assertions.
There is nothing wrong with exploring life, what you really like, what you look for in a mate. It is better to take time instead of rushing into this.
It isn't about capitalization on the 20 something demographic. It is about taking time and being careful about choosing a mate. It looks according to data presented that doing that shows a lower divorce rate. That tends to be the trend in several studies. So by the looks of things your feeble theory doesn't hold up. Sorry.
What you cite above are all very recent, very modern demographic trends...go back 100 years or so, and you will find that for eons and ages, ppl had operated on a fundamentally different wavelength on this.
Change is *not* always good, and can have unintended consequences...especially when society starts tinkering with the basics and (previously relatively standardized) precedents of the institution of marriage.
The reality is, on a biological level, young ppl were naturally designed to marry and procreate, at younger ages, and especially pre-30 for women (as their fertility goes down considerably at that age, and the risk for birth defects increases). The advent of the pill and modern birth control changed that, albeit artificially, and against the natural order. Later marriage in life is thus an evolutionary aberration...
ETA: Modern birth control is an irreversible trend that was a grave mistake, IMO...it has trivialized and made a practical joke out of the institution of marriage, as a whole.
Change happens, deal with it. what worked 100 years ago doesn't work today. Again, your reasoning is off. Life expectancy has increased by 25 years in the last century. So, we have more time to enjoy life and aspects before starting a family and marrying that in my mind is a good thing.
Change happens, deal with it. what worked 100 years ago doesn't work today. Again, your reasoning is off. Life expectancy has increased by 25 years in the last century. So, we have more time to enjoy life and aspects before starting a family and marrying that in my mind is a good thing.
SD: I fully respect your opinion on this, even if I do happen to disagree...
I would think it's better to wait till after 30...finish your education,travel and establish a career!Although if my parents thought that way I wouldn't be here!!
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Sorry. 
