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Old 11-01-2010, 06:59 PM
 
1 posts, read 3,634 times
Reputation: 11

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my wife jumped on to facebook about 4 months ago and got connected to her school class of about 40 friends and start interacting with them daily. she gave her mobile phone to few male friends and recieving calls. i objected to her daily involvement on facebook sometimes for 4/5 hours and chating. we had tough time and she started confiding about our marital problems with one her married male friend overseas and he pushed her to chating for 2/3 hours at night while i was sleeping and i read one of thier conversation for over 2 hours with words like "i love you" "no body can take your place " had sharing romancing songs and lookinf forward to meeting overseas as she is going there with my kids for 7 weeks. i asked her and first she totally denied and sad i am a backward person etc.i hoped and gave her hint but she never told me after 2 days i told her some hint but she denied and then i told her i read thier conversation. she still denied and slowly over 2 hours i told her words exchanged and she started trebling. in evening she said she was under stress and carried away i can throw her out of house etc. i said no i still trust you and she be careful of male friends and limit her time on facebook. for few days she stopped but last week she again junped and sat for 6/7 hours on oneday. she got more than 150 friends , but mainly chats with school friends male /female 50-50 and shares light jokes etc. the particular male is still on her front webpage on facebook and she has not taken him off. i have'nt told her in the hope she will reciprocate on her own, but i am getting under mental stress and sleepness nights. what should i do?
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Old 11-01-2010, 07:03 PM
 
1,960 posts, read 4,661,992 times
Reputation: 5416
facebook is evidence of the outright social deficit of our society. It is an enabler of our collective flakyness and is proud instrument of the erosion and destruction of relationships. I hate facebook. That said, it is but a mere instrument. It didn't make people flaky, it just illustrated that we are as a species. I still hate it though.

..Oh and people who keep pictures and posts from ex-SOs are just plain weird. What a weird thing to do....
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Old 11-01-2010, 07:07 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,161,377 times
Reputation: 2119
Quote:
Originally Posted by garycity View Post
my wife jumped on to facebook about 4 months ago and got connected to her school class of about 40 friends and start interacting with them daily. she gave her mobile phone to few male friends and recieving calls. i objected to her daily involvement on facebook sometimes for 4/5 hours and chating. we had tough time and she started confiding about our marital problems with one her married male friend overseas and he pushed her to chating for 2/3 hours at night while i was sleeping and i read one of thier conversation for over 2 hours with words like "i love you" "no body can take your place " had sharing romancing songs and lookinf forward to meeting overseas as she is going there with my kids for 7 weeks. i asked her and first she totally denied and sad i am a backward person etc.i hoped and gave her hint but she never told me after 2 days i told her some hint but she denied and then i told her i read thier conversation. she still denied and slowly over 2 hours i told her words exchanged and she started trebling. in evening she said she was under stress and carried away i can throw her out of house etc. i said no i still trust you and she be careful of male friends and limit her time on facebook. for few days she stopped but last week she again junped and sat for 6/7 hours on oneday. she got more than 150 friends , but mainly chats with school friends male /female 50-50 and shares light jokes etc. the particular male is still on her front webpage on facebook and she has not taken him off. i have'nt told her in the hope she will reciprocate on her own, but i am getting under mental stress and sleepness nights. what should i do?
Save the conversations in case she ever does leave you to be with him so you can leverage it in divorce court, cuz that's where you're heading.

Why would you want to be with her after this? She told another man that she loves him and no one can replace him. Probably should throw in the towel and get the pain process rolling so it can get over sooner and you can move on with your life.

I appreciate you telling me this story, it just helped me feel better about my realization that I'll probably never get married. Hope you get through this ok in the end, but sounds like it's finished bro. Good luck.
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Old 11-01-2010, 07:15 PM
 
1,960 posts, read 4,661,992 times
Reputation: 5416
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
Save the conversations in case she ever does leave you to be with him so you can leverage it in divorce court, cuz that's where you're heading.

Why would you want to be with her after this? She told another man that she loves him and no one can replace him. Probably should throw in the towel and get the pain process rolling so it can get over sooner and you can move on with your life.

I appreciate you telling me this story, it just helped me feel better about my realization that I'll probably never get married. Hope you get through this ok in the end, but sounds like it's finished bro. Good luck.
As a recently divorced man, I completely relate to your last paragraph. The level of emotional ambivalence out there is asphyxiating. People are as reliable as a box of mashed potato flakes. Squirrels with no emotional fortitude. And facebook has shun a dirty embarrassing light on our emotional interactions. People juggling multiple emotional relationships at a time, keeping "friends" on the wings waiting to swoop in for that all-important facebook "relationship status change". Monkeys. we're monkeys, crude, disloyal, callous, self-interested. I'm never getting married again. I love keeping the lights on in my house and food on the table, I can't build myself up to give that hard-earned security up on such shaky grounds as the stock of humanity that surrounds me, as it relates to interpersonal relationships.
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Old 11-01-2010, 07:49 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
968 posts, read 2,588,463 times
Reputation: 504
Facebook is boring
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,681,934 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by garycity View Post
my wife jumped on to facebook about 4 months ago and got connected to her school class of about 40 friends and start interacting with them daily. she gave her mobile phone to few male friends and recieving calls. i objected to her daily involvement on facebook sometimes for 4/5 hours and chating. we had tough time and she started confiding about our marital problems with one her married male friend overseas and he pushed her to chating for 2/3 hours at night while i was sleeping and i read one of thier conversation for over 2 hours with words like "i love you" "no body can take your place " had sharing romancing songs and lookinf forward to meeting overseas as she is going there with my kids for 7 weeks. i asked her and first she totally denied and sad i am a backward person etc.i hoped and gave her hint but she never told me after 2 days i told her some hint but she denied and then i told her i read thier conversation. she still denied and slowly over 2 hours i told her words exchanged and she started trebling. in evening she said she was under stress and carried away i can throw her out of house etc. i said no i still trust you and she be careful of male friends and limit her time on facebook. for few days she stopped but last week she again junped and sat for 6/7 hours on oneday. she got more than 150 friends , but mainly chats with school friends male /female 50-50 and shares light jokes etc. the particular male is still on her front webpage on facebook and she has not taken him off. i have'nt told her in the hope she will reciprocate on her own, but i am getting under mental stress and sleepness nights. what should i do?
You've got big problems, bigger than you probably even know.

Sit her down tonight and set some firm boundries. If she won't agree to some changes be prepared to follow thru on action which shows her how serious you are. If you don't do this immediately you will lose her anyway.

I'm so sorry
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:13 PM
 
1,960 posts, read 4,661,992 times
Reputation: 5416
There's few emotions in this world more hurtful than the anatomy of your S.O. flaking out on you. It's callous. My sincerest condolences. Your S.O. is probably a goner emotionally. You don't deserve to live your days afraid of your own shadow. Cut the cancer early before it consumes you.
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,664 posts, read 30,603,599 times
Reputation: 5183
It is not to blame on facebook or the internet. The marriage is failing. Sorry, she would have wandered even without facebook.
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,134,698 times
Reputation: 22814
As somebody said once: Facebook! Wrecking marriages since 2004!
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Old 11-01-2010, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Somewhere below Mason/Dixon
9,468 posts, read 10,794,806 times
Reputation: 15967
This marriage is likely going south fast. People engaged in this behaivor hardly ever listen to reason. Your energy is best spent collecting evidence of adultry (if you dont live in a no fault state), cancelling credit cards, protecting your assets the best you can and setting up a secret savings account. If you are the primary breadwinner this will be much easier to do of course. Remember that she can run up debt at any time while you are married and you will be responsible for half of it. Cancel any credit cards, or lines of credit open to her. I believe you can also put a fraud alert on your credit reports to prevent new lines of credit from being opened. After you have protected your self the best you can, then is the time to confront her and draw the line regarding her behaivor.
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