Where is the love? (married, woman, husband, family)

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by Karla with a K

don't forget the title to his truck is in your name
hmmm wonder how he would fell if you took the tags and canceled the insurance

I would remind him that 2 can play that game.

robyn didn't you say a while back that the doctors owe you money from some insurance paycheck thing?

I wonder how he would feel, indeed. the bill comes with my name first, then his.

They went over the insurance with me, and said that the first year I wasn't charged at all, that the original OM made a mistake, and maybe thats why i was being overcharged at that time. I said that doesn't make sense, and I asked to see pay stubs, and they pulled them up, and there was nothing that came out for several months and It didn't come up to that much, It didn't break even, but he had given me some money already, i want to say 250, and it probably did by then, and since then, through out the rest of the year, they are paying my ins 100%

I tried to explaiin to him if he just called them and dropped the ins from my car, I would be uninsured, and he was like no you wont, and I was like yes I would. Unless you picked up another policy eight then and there, my car would have no ins.

He is such a ... a son of a biscuit eater.

Yep, I have the registration to the truch right here, it has my name 2nd, but the geico bill has my name 1st. I could just drop his ass off of it. He is being a jerk.

I wonder though, if I go ahead and get insurance on the car, and he does that crap with the title, if I will still be insured. the lady asked for my vin number... i will make sure to have that.

I dont know where all this money is coming from. Shoot. he thinks I really did him wrong with that elec...but he did it himself! Oh, I should have changed it back...

Then for some reason, he would have said I had no right to have done it...

[Pikantari]

Oh, and I told him how the registration and title thing could be done, and he did not want to hear of it. He said why do I want to pay all of that cost... i said i will pay it, why do I want to pay for new tags and registration, he says why do i want to pay for elec to be set up?

I said same reason I have to pay for phone!

[FLPL75]

robyn
he is now "playing with you" since the truck is in both names just tell him
"If you won't sign the title of my car over to me then when we leave we will have to use the truck since I can't drive the car once you have removed the tags.
You may have to drive off in the truck when you leave, but once he sees you are serious a light bulb may go off in his head. you know how some men are with their trucks.
and if it was me I would "accidentally" lose the keys and oops had to have the locksmith rekey the locks. That way he can't come with his key and drive off.
I know some people will say "don't stoop to his level" but you know what it maybe the only level he can understand.
They say you have to tell someone something 7 times before it sinks in, from his behavior he might just be in the 10 to 12 time category.
Think about it how many times have you told him to quit calling you "pretty" and not to touch you.
If you are concerned that when you have discussion where he might "rage" hide a tape recorder(check your local laws on this though) in the room. having him raging on tape might be just what you need to get a TRO against him. Not to mention will go a long way in court.
Also remember he may feel he doesn't have to tell you where his money goes but that won't sit very well with the court when they ask him and believe me when they start the child support and alimony process they will require him to give full disclosure.

[pirate girl]

Speaking of money, Robyn....... if you can get a hold of one of his pay stubs or even a banking statement that will show how much money he is depositing.

[Magnolia Bloom]

Anything that he does to prevent you from having transportation will work against him. And I'm with Karla- if you can't take your car, then take the truck. It's in your name, too. Do you have a garage at the new place?

The owning doc sounds great. If you haven't told him how much you need, I suggest you add a little more to the figure. You should have a cushion and can begin to pay him pack once you start generating income from your jewelry.

I hope you have your jewelry business up and running before the holidays... I do as much Christmas shopping online as possible

This is gonna be a wild time for you, getting everything tied up and ready to roll. Hang in there. Your cheering squad is here for you!

[Pikantari]

Good ideas, karla...

2mile walk. Talked to my brother B. He is still helping me move. The park was not flooded, some limbs down. He told me he, while we are married, or even separated can't take the tags off the car, because it is marital property, even if the title is in his name.

Gonna ask the lawyer about this today. I talked to him for about 20 minutes, a mile and part of the way home, finally he said he had to go...LOL

He said, "I am standing here in my underwear and I have to leave at 7, it was 652, and I have to go potty."

I miss him so much. I don't care how sad I am when I talk to any of them, I just miss them. He has little ones, hense, potty, dang, mine are 13 and 11, and I stil say it!

The dragonflies were with me today as well, but not in as big of an abundance. The river was raised, you could smell the river. It was there. So many people working on the golf course this morning.

Today was not a walk to take things in, to look around and see. Today was... a walk. My brother will bring his boys with him when he helps me move, thats great i said...I never see them. Our family is in such a way, that with me down here all these years, and only seeing them on Thanksgiving, the cousins really dont know eachother.

Once we go to court, and I pray to Him with all that I have, that i get custody, I can't see why I should not... but I want to be allowed to take my kids to see their family. If he can, at the drop of a hat, take them to see a crazy woman, I should be able to take them to see my family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just looked at the car ins bill, due on 0825....thats why he wants me off of it..he wants to do it before he has to pay it again. He does it by phone. he is upset because the rate they quoted me is less than half of the monthly bill, and he figures, hey, her car is newer, mine older.

Well guess what...he is a man. That makes him more right there....then...a couple years ago, he got a ticket, 20 miles over the speed limit....MCFLY?

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by pirate girl

Speaking of money, Robyn....... if you can get a hold of one of his pay stubs or even a banking statement that will show how much money he is depositing.

He is afraid to do online banking because of what a friend told him, but we set it up, a long time ago, things are stored in my brain, nuff said.

He now hides all of that.

he makes a lot of overtime...this will not be included in child support... but I know how much he makes

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by HIF

Anything that he does to prevent you from having transportation will work against him. And I'm with Karla- if you can't take your car, then take the truck. It's in your name, too. Do you have a garage at the new place?

The owning doc sounds great. If you haven't told him how much you need, I suggest you add a little more to the figure. You should have a cushion and can begin to pay him pack once you start generating income from your jewelry.

I hope you have your jewelry business up and running before the holidays... I do as much Christmas shopping online as possible

This is gonna be a wild time for you, getting everything tied up and ready to roll. Hang in there. Your cheering squad is here for you!

Yep, garage, stick shift, nope....yikes.

I have not really given the dr an amt...he actually paid for teen A s flight to Georgia for college and many other things. I never really thought he would do anything to help me though...

I have jewelry in stock... heehee

YAY for my cheering squad.... the day is coming so near... and we know how time flies. Today is the 22nd, and my move date is the 1st...packing party?

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by Karla with a K

robyn
he is now "playing with you" since the truck is in both names just tell him
"If you won't sign the title of my car over to me then when we leave we will have to use the truck since I can't drive the car once you have removed the tags.
You may have to drive off in the truck when you leave, but once he sees you are serious a light bulb may go off in his head. you know how some men are with their trucks.
and if it was me I would "accidentally" lose the keys and oops had to have the locksmith rekey the locks. That way he can't come with his key and drive off.
I know some people will say "don't stoop to his level" but you know what it maybe the only level he can understand.
They say you have to tell someone something 7 times before it sinks in, from his behavior he might just be in the 10 to 12 time category.
Think about it how many times have you told him to quit calling you "pretty" and not to touch you.
If you are concerned that when you have discussion where he might "rage" hide a tape recorder(check your local laws on this though) in the room. having him raging on tape might be just what you need to get a TRO against him. Not to mention will go a long way in court.
Also remember he may feel he doesn't have to tell you where his money goes but that won't sit very well with the court when they ask him and believe me when they start the child support and alimony process they will require him to give full disclosure.

*******SASSY******

[DareToDream]

Good morning Robyn - Glad to see you posted. Like others, I was concerned...Just an idea with things starting to come together and TJ starting to "gear up" - does someone on this forum or one of the others have your phone number? Please consider giving it to someone you trust who could just post a quick note over here saying they spoke with you and you're okay so if you can't get on the computer, at least everyone would know you're fine....again, just a thought.

Another thought - In both my divorces (granted, they were in NYS, not sure about how things work in your state) - my husband(s) both made more than I did - my lawyer had it put in the paperwork that they paid my lawyer's fees - see if that can be done in your case - You may not have to pay your lawyer, it may be that TJ will have to pay your lawyer and his.....worst case scenario, I would think would be that you pay yours, he pays his - but check with yours about that.

Your boss sounds like a very caring man - he's offered you monetary help - take it. Don't worry about how you will pay it back right now - there's too much going on in your life to wonder about that - you will be able to find a way once you are out on your own and back to your "side job" of making jewelry.

Health insurance - can you get that through where you work? If not, make sure your lawyer gets it in the papers that TJ has to keep the kids on his policy until they turn 21. For you, there may be a state program that offers health insurance based on income level - in NYS we had what was called "Healthy NY." Your state may have something similar. You pay premiums that are much less than if you get a "regular" policy.

With the cars - keep the car papers for BOTH the car and the truck with you. Hold the papers on his truck "hostage" if you have to, until he signs the title to your car over to you. Worst case scenario, as others have said, you take the truck.

Regarding his income - you have the previous years' tax returns, right? That will give you an idea of what he makes a year - just in case you can't find one of his pay stubs or a bank statement - either way, as someone said, once you go to court, he will have to disclose is salary and his expenses.

Again, I don't know what the laws are in your state, but in NY, we both made out a form that detailed our expenses for everything - housing, clothing, food, utilities, entertainment, etc. - you will eventually find out where his money is going.......and you will be entitled to child support and possibly alimony. I was "stupid" in my divorces and did not take any alimony - don't be as stupid as I was - take it. I wish I had, it would have made things a lot easier for me, especially in the "transition period" - if you feel "funny" taking it, put it in a savings account for the children, but take it, so you have it if you need it.

Yesterday was tiring, but a lot of good came out of it - your boss offered you assistance, more people know of your situation now and will be looking out for you - it's all coming together. TJ is, as you know, most probably going to "ramp up" his bizarre behavior and is going to try to play more "head games" with you - you are doing GREAT handling all he is throwing in your direction. It won't be long now and you will be FREE! Stay as strong as you are now through these next days...........you can do it Robyn!