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YAY! I love all of you! Lindsay is so excited just to do anything....do you know what she wants to do the most?
She wants to go look a t this years back pack styles! My kids are SO just like me. They love to learn, they love school. I love them so much. Jim says they are nerds.
I say they are wonderful, smart people. I say to love to school is to be going places, and they are.
Lindsay just said.....Hey Mommy... I love you SO mUUUUUUCH! Get ready for this big humongous kiss.....she blew me 2 kisses. She said oh I see that smile
She just asked me why I am so happy, I said because I love you so much....she said well you know I love you Mommy.
Oh the feeling of love from your child.
She says...I see that smile, I love you so much, and she compares the tan on our arms.
She tells me that she had 2 diet cokes last night.
Oh I love that child. My smile goes from one ear to the other, almost in tears over it.
Who would ever thjink that could happen? It happens to me all the time.
My kids are so loving and kind.
I typed all of this as it happened. In living color.
If all of the world makes me sad, if Jim makes me so upset, I know there is always a part of my life that I can be so happy in, in my children.
As a child growing up, I did not know this. My mother did not know this.
How sad. How so very sad.
I have gotten up to only page 8. I did up to 7 some other day, but today it was all wacked out, it printed uneven, and on both sides...how strange. I had to go through the whole page and fill in the blanks.
Children are a blessing, indeed, and your Lindsay is a gem. Robyn, please make sure and put your print outs somewhere where J can never find them. Like you said, knowlede is power. I would also hate to think what he would be capable of doing if he found those things and read through them. Here's to wishing you good thoughts and a great day!
Children are a blessing, indeed, and your Lindsay is a gem. Robyn, please make sure and put your print outs somewhere where J can never find them. Like you said, knowlede is power. I would also hate to think what he would be capable of doing if he found those things and read through them. Here's to wishing you good thoughts and a great day!
yep, not here in the house. Right this minute they are. but I am putting them, probably at work, where I have some other things. May check on a safe deposit.
A thought about the call to him yesterday from perspective landlord.
he never gave me the message as he told the man he would, of course the guy found me at work, because he knew that i worke with my friend C, who he rents to.
I am thinking Jim thought if he didn't give me the message, I would not get it. And I would be none the wiser.
I have had my shower and I am a fresh kid now... thats what my kids say...
There is a theatre about ten mins down the street from where this place is, that only cost 2 bucks to see a movie... can you believe that? The seats aren't all comfy like the great big new theatres are, but i am gonna see whats playing...
At almost ten I guess I saw his truck coming down the street. It was him. he drove up and said that his friend B said they had a whole bunch of stuff to do before they started, cut grass at the church, home, take a flat bed out to a park, all kinds of stuff...hmm
Soooo...I said, if he knew he had to do all of that, why would you be on the phone with him at 7am and he was telling you to come on over.
Oh well everything wasn't ready, so he is gonna do all that stuff and we went out to breakfast. (for 3 hours)
I said when are they leaving? @ pm maybe....I smiled. Thinking that that was a convenient time.
He said he asked Alexander if he wanted to go to the library with me and he said no, that he wanted to hang out with him and cut grass.
So, they are outside, in our yard, cutting grass.
I am still going. Lindsay and I will still go places, do things. Wonder what he told B. I know they were planning this all week. Wonder if he came up with some kind of emergency or something.
Hmm...When I got home this am they were standing in the drive and he was on the phone saying when will you be here.. ok, I will come out there.
Robyn I think you understand J very well. I think he's probably lying about every other sentence. The fact that he deliberately DID NOT tell you about the landlord just further demonstrates he is a scumbag that has no scruples about lying through his teeth, or conveniently forgetting to tell you things. More than ever you should realize that this decision of yours is so much the right thing to do. He isn't worth even giving it a shot (not that you were going to anyway). I hate to say such bad things but this man is a real, true, blue, died in the wool a$$hole and he'll never, ever change for the better unless he's willing to admit to himself that he has problems.
I wouldn't even doubt that he paid your son to stay with him or something. Not that your son wouldn't want to be with his father, but that's just how much I distrust this guy. You are a smart woman Robyn. Enjoy your day at the movies with your daughter, and watch your back. J is a snake.
Yes, this one sounds like a real snake. Sadly, Robyn, you can't spend all your time watching his moves. Just go about what you need to do for yourself. Ignore his game playing. Just make sure you are safe and protected as best you are able. That's about all you can do.
The house was really nice. Lindsay stayed at my friend Cs house watching cable... a luxury for her. C and I went and met the landlord and he was hanging out at the gas station, reminded me of a modern day Mayberry. She was telling me about this one and that.
He told us to go on down and look, the lady who lives there is expecting us. It is a 2 story house in a neighborhood with a park right across the street. There is a wrap around porch with a porch swing. The porch is huge. There are several police officers who live in the neighborhood. There are all kinds of places to walk, and a ball field.
The living room is equally as big as the dining room. The living room itself could be used for both and the other room cut off for not heating or ac. The house is heated by gas, and there is no ac. The lady says three small window units upstairs in each of the bedrooms and a large one downstairs cools the whole house. A family of 4 lives there and the elec is 110 a month.
The entrance way to the front is huge and looks like it goes up to the sky. The whole house is all wood floors. The smallest bedroom in the house is as big as my bedroom, and the largest, as big, almost as my living room here.
The kitchen is a good size, but not much cabinet space, although a huge pantry. Old timey sink. Cute. My friend was asking all of the questions. I stood in awe. There is a half bath downstairs, for some reason it is wired , rather the water hookup is made so that the washer is in there. I am thinking there was not always that half bath there. Huge mudroom off the back. The dryer is there. Not far from the washer. Most of the inside of the house is painted this red color that people are painting their homes, it is really nice, one room a blue. I think the bedrooms were all white. There is an attic, with stairs, which is also half finished off.
There is a room upstairs that i dont quite know what it is foor, but she uses it for storage. looks like a huge closet or a small office. Looked like a CD room to me, wanna know the truth.
The rent is 750, he told me he would let me have it for 700. Truth be known, that house, he could charge 1500. In a minute!
The apartments around here are going for more than 800. The drive back into town is about 15 minutes, more I guess, with traffic. We talked about rideshare.
I would need a refridgerator and stove. Ac. I can go to the laundromat, but in the long run, doing that, I would have paid for several washers and dryers. there is a store downtown here that sells appliances (used) for an inexpensive price, we actually have a stove from them right now.
The upstairs bathroom is a fullbath, with a claw foot tub. They have made it so that it is also a shower.
The places here in downtown, the bad areas are going for more than this place, and are much smaller, and scary.
Seems everything is scary right now, because things are so new for me. But that is a safe place, in a safe neighborhood. he gave me a form to fill out, but said basically just to bring him the deposit sometime next week and I can move in as of 09/01/2007, if I want.
I don't see how I can beat it. Just need to find stuff to go in the place. Tried to cal my fam this afternoon, everyone is gone! it is a nice day.
Jim and Alexander are at the park and he loves me....gag. Gag about Jim...I know you guys know that.
Gonna call my cousins wife, when mu uncle passed, they merged 2 houses...theirs and his, and moved into his house, they may have something I can use......
Today has taken alot out of me for some reason... I talked to m y friend C out on her back porch, away from all listening ears, we just talked and talked....felt good to talk to her...she feels the same way i do, he cant figure out there is something wrong with him if he cant even accept it, and I cant live like this anymore. Not after i thought he may hit me the other night. No turning back. Not like he thinks. he thinks i am not trying, have tried too long, and I am thinking of myself now, and my kids.
They will come out of his brainwashing once they don't live with him...hopefully, as I have. it is such a good feeling not to be lost there anymore, confusing in the beginning. But good now.
The house sounds great...how much of a deposit does he want? How are the schools? If you take it, is there any way the kids could begin at the start of the year, even if a week before you officially move in?
Also like that law enforcement live in the area. You have a lot to process!
Robyn - I have been following your thread for awhile now, but have not posted......You say that everything seems scary and today took a lot out of you - of course it does and it did, dear lady - YOU ARE MAKING PROGRESS AND CHANGES! <g> This progress and change are good, but also scary because of the "unknown" factor - look at it as an adventure and it will seem less scary, I promise.
I was in the same time of situation for many years. By the time I had the courage to leave my verbally abusive husband, my son was out of the house and in college, so I didn't have to worry about him, though. In my case, the verbal abuse escalated to physical and that was the day I left. I packed up as much as I could and moved to my own place while the ex was at work...I never regretted it. It was very hard financially for awhile, but it was the best move I made.
Once you are out of your "toxic" relationship, you'll be surprised how good you will feel and how things will fall into place. This new rental sounds fantastic - you will have people around you and a good place for you and your children - you will flourish, there is no doubt in my mind.
It will be scary, and it will tire you out, that's all normal......remember this is the start of a new life for you and it is an adventure - a wonderful, happy adventure - you will do fine, you really will...........
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Sneaky
