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He put the electric in my name only here at this house a couple of weeks ago, that is going to have to change, I will have to get that changed, let them know he did it, or something. I dont knw.
I will have to get now elec turned on, they usually will let you pay on that.
New phone service. Gas. I am not so worried about the gas just right now.
One of my sisters, and one of my brothers are going camping the weekend of my move. It is Labor day weekend. That is ..bad. She said maybe they could swing down this way and come to help. They could both drive their trucks and come down. They will camp, I guess at Colonial Beach, VA. Miles from here,....many Miles.
This sounds bad, but last week at church, some of you may have remembered, one of my church members saw the rings missing off my finger. The house 2 houses down for her is quietly by word of mout being sold. She asked me about it, because before, we were looking to move.
There may be some things in that house that need to be moved away fr there, before it can be sold... I will find out today. I will also open up to the interim Pastor.. whew... and see what i can do...
I've just read all the posts, and all I can say is that CD won't let me pm anyone for a while, + they keep telling me I have to spread the rep pts around before giving you guys any ~ great ideas, great support!
Rather than repeat all the good advice that goes before me Robyn, I'll just say that HDL's right on the mark when she suggested that you consider a roommate in the future, if expenses are getting tight...it might be the most painless way to have extra money in your life...
Right on with Aiangel_writer's description of how life everafter can be ~ yes, as your (great) friend warned you, times can be tough ~ but then you go home to your own place, filled with the warmth and love of your children.
Rest easy Robyn, you are becoming more comfortable with your strength now ~ you deserve to be happy. Hugs wrapped around you, MsV
So much GOOD, loving advice and thoughts on this forum for our friend Robyn. The house sounds absolutely fantastic Robyn, I can picture the wrap around porch and space right now. Space, for you and your children to grown and have a happy, wonderful life. It will happen and you will be happy like you've never known before. I visualize this happening. Thank God for your friend that went with you to the house - she sounds like a great person with (sadly) a similar experience as your own.
You deserve this house Robyn, and something tells me that it is meant to be. Keep moving forward, step by step as you have done so very well. We're all proud of you - it takes courage and strength to do what you've done, and you have done it so very well.
MsV, I got your message and have asked someone to look into things. God Bless you for your insight and help on this thread.
My stbx called yesterday am saying he wanted to cut the lawn. No thanks, I said, I am not up to seeing you today. Click.
Why is life so complicated and a nightmare sometimes?
Because, at least in my experience, stbx's, especially if they are the controlling type don't want to relinquish any control in any way, shape or form.....In his mind, you still need him to do things for you - in his mind you are the "helpless damsel in distress." One you leave their lives, unless they find someone else quickly, they still try to use you to exert their "power and control." I've been away from mine for about 10 years now, and looking back, some of the things he said or tried to do once I left are really quite comical, if I think about it.....One day you and Robyn will reach that point - it takes time, but I feel very sorry for this type of person (and it's not always the man either, sometimes women can be just as bad)....It's like they have a distorted view of being "needed".....In this case, sounds like your stbx doesn't think you can cut the lawn on your own, thus proving to him that you still need him......Does that make any sense?
Good for you, telling him no and hanging up on him!
Robyn, I would keep an eye out for tag sales and garage sales for the next few weekends also. I don't know about in your area but there are tons of them here on LI every weekend, starting in mid-April and right through until early November! Some are advertised in the paper but most of them are just from signs stuck up on utility poles and trees a few days before.
Usually they're held by people getting ready to either list their house or to move, so if you even just stop and ask if they have any large items they aren't planning to take with them, it's worth a shot. You never know. There may well be the spare refrigerator or summer-kitchen stove in the basement that they didn't bother to haul up for the garage sale.....
Todays walk was not much of a walk. I got out of the car, put the earbuds in, and Mercy Me played.
I was late in getting there, and the sun was in full effect, there was a great breeze, and the temperature was wonderful.
I dragged myself around the first turn, crying outloud, hearing myself, over the music. I know there was no one there, and even if there were, I did not care. I did not care if the world heard me, the whole world.
But the Lord. He heard my tears. He felt my pain, and He knows it. My walk was not even anything I would call a walk. I dragged myself to get along, just crying, and crying.
I spotted the river. I stopped. I looked. Today, the river drew me closer, maybe it was all of the tears, I dont know. I took the trail that leads to the river, the All Mighty River.
I was suprised. The last time i went down there, there was a small cliff you could stand on, and the river was 3-4 feet below.
Not today. Today, the trail was soggy. The cliff was part of the river.
We have had rain, I have let loose so many tears. As much as I am a part of that river, it is a part of me. I stood there looking across the river, still just crying, the music playing.
The river has grown, i thought to myself, so have I. Together, as i walk here everyday, we have grown together.
We are one.
I walked back up the trail and sat on the make shift bench. Two cut off logs sitting there with a 2x4 nailed on top of them. I sat facing the river, letting my tears dry.
By this time, I would have walked a good 2-3 miles, I thought, but the river kept me, I kept the river.
I knew some time ago that it was the river, not the sky anymore, that i was more comfortable with, these days.
Finally I got up from the bench and walked the rest of the way up the trail and through the wet grass to get to the track.
I got to my car and took out the buds, called my brother.
I told him about my perspective moving date, 090107 and he said he would check his calander. Seems like everyone is doing something! It is laborday weekend.
If any of them will help me, it will be him. I drove the way home, looked to the left as I approached my house, but did not turn into the drive. No, I kept going.
Today, I need Starbucks! I have not had it for 3-4 weeks. Usually I get one once a week, on a Saturday. Today is my day. SO, I drove there.
I went in and heard a familiar voice. I did not see anyone familiar, I was in my tearful fog. But the voice I know. I got closer to the person and listened some more, waited for her to turn around.
Indeed, it was the Nurse Practicioner that used to work at my work. I ordered my Large Mocha with whipped cream, and went over to her. B is her name. Now there is a B on my side of the story. She said i know you have been having it rough, she only knows about the car, because she works with the persons wife who is gonna fix my car, and he is working on hers as well.
I said is that ALL you know? I knew she had to know more. Women cannot just be together and not tell eachother SOMETHING....lol
My coffee was ready, and she was already seated, waiting for me. Still with tears in my eyes.
I told her what had happened. Everything you know. She said dont worry. We will help you. Only take the things you need. Put them in my garage. One day while he is at work. leave the furniture there. I told her of the things that were my parents. We will come and get those things one day and put them in my garage...the beauty of owning your own business, you can close it whenever you want!
I have so much extra furniture she says, beds, couches, table and chairs. I can help you. Leave all of those old bad memories behind and we will make your new house a home. We will make it yours. It will all be new for you, and you will make new, wonderful memories.
Dont pack things now, he will smash it.
S (that is my old office mgr) is about to throw out a bedroom set! You can have that!
I steadily cry. All of these years of virtually no love. All the way back to my childhood, and now, I am overwhelmed of the outpouring of kindness and love that i am recieving, I don't know what to do with it, or even how to handle it.
She says you are going to be fine. We will testify for you.
You bring yourself and the kids to my office, get physicals. It will be on record that you are healthy. Do not tell him. I will not charge you a penny.
She stood up and hugged me before we left, and reached into her pocket and gave me everything that was in there. Dont thank me, dont give it back. You help so many people every day.
If you HAVE to pay me back...do it in 2050. She had 50 dollars in her pocket. I told her I could not take it. She said if you give it back I will only keep giving it back to you, so you may as well keep it. You call me when you are ready to do all this. See if the girl who is in the house now will start letting you move things in early.
We are gonna get this done. Dont you worry Robyn. there are so many people who love you.
My walk had purpose today. I thought it was a strange walk, my tears poured. I sat at the river, watched it flow back and forth...decided today i needed Starbucks. And there was someone who could help me.
I dont know what to do with this. I am just so...overwhelmed. I sit here now, a tear rolls down my cheek.
He is awake, still his cheerful self. I am planning. Things are coming together.
Thank the Lord Jesus Christ, and all of you... some of my very best friends in the world right now,
Oh my, that woman is a Godsend Robyn. Your story made me so happy that you have someone like that in your life (close by) that can be so caring and wonderful. You see, people do care for you, because you are worth it and deserving of it. You are doing something to change your life for the better and people see that, and it brings out the very best in them as well. B is such a great person, the words that she said and the way that she said them. She is wonderful! And so are you Robyn. Keep moving forward, one foot after the other, and as you see, things start falling in to place. I can't say how glad I am that you ran into B at the Starbucks. I believe it was meant to be. I am so happy for you that you have such wonderful friends.
This is so exciting and I am so happy for you. That post just made my day. Way to go Robyn, and way to go B!
That post gave me goosebumps! Robyn this is all the love you have put out in the universe coming back to you. Accept it, knowing you are entitled to it and more. There will be many chances in your future to pay it back to people who need it.
That post gave me goosebumps! Robyn this is all the love you have put out in the universe coming back to you. Accept it, knowing you are entitled to it and more. There will be many chances in your future to pay it back to people who need it.
Yes! It's a good thing that B is not within my grasp right now because if she was I'd give her a big old bear hug until it hurt and tell her that she is a wonderful, wonderful person. And Marlow is right on the money, it's all the love that you're putting out coming back to you Robyn. Accept it, because you are entitled to it. This is such GREAT news!
It's all falling together now. Just keep walking forward, don't look back. Make your plan, execute your plan, and do not let any one or any thing get in your way. I can guarantee that your life will be far better if you stay the course. You'll have teary days, but do not question your decision. You are doing the right thing for yourself and for your children.
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One you leave their lives, unless they find someone else quickly, they still try to use you to exert their "power and control." I've been away from mine for about 10 years now, and looking back, some of the things he said or tried to do once I left are really quite comical, if I think about it.....One day you and Robyn will reach that point - it takes time, but I feel very sorry for this type of person (and it's not always the man either, sometimes women can be just as bad)....It's like they have a distorted view of being "needed".....In this case, sounds like your stbx doesn't think you can cut the lawn on your own, thus proving to him that you still need him......Does that make any sense?
The Good Lords Blessings.
