Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do appreciate all the comments, even the bad ones, though right now I have no time for those. I've been feeling horrible all day, haven't said a word, feel like in a daze. For those who said I shouldn't blame the guy because it is also my fault, I already said I know I'm partly to blame too! I know I did wrong. Still doesn't mean he had to treat me that way.
Best thing you can do is write it off as "lesson learned", and resolve to do something different. We've all done stupid things we regret. It's part of life. Now you're smarter today than you were yesterday.
I have to say, I don't concur with this at all. She totally lead him on sexually while knowing she did not want to have sex. She mentioned that she has been around sexual comments all her life and knows what men want.
She has to learn not to talk sexual and to get to know a person first before going to that level.
Well, I do concur. Because around 20 years ago, my nephew and I were invited to a social gathering. A young woman(much like the subject of this thread) was there who was very beautiful and her friend told me that she was attracted me. I conversed with her and she was very nice. By the end of the gathering, we were invited to continue at her family's home, since no one would be there, so a few of us made our way there. The young lady became drunk and pulled me to a private place and began to get very aroused. I told her that she needed to calm down and she told me that she had vowed to lose her virginity this night and she chose me to do it. I told her that I would be right back. I made my way back to my nephew and told him that I wanted to get out of there. The girl with him left us and I was ready to leave. When she comes back, she tells me that I can't leave now because her girlfriend wants to be with me. I told her that I would not do it. The young lady comes over in tears and asks me why I want to leave. I told her friend and my nephew to come back to the room we were in and proceeded to tell her that she is a very beautiful young lady but vowing to lose her virginity tonight to ANYONE, was a lack of self-respect and well as disrespectful towards me.
The message I gave her was very similar to the one I gave to this young lady here. I told her that if she was going to give her chastity to me, that she was going to have to be my wife. And that was going to take some doing in the way of bonding emotionally and spiritually, mutual respect and most importantly - LOVE!
And even if all that was fulfilled, I refuse to have any form of intimacy with a drunken person.
That night I exercised discipline and self-respect, as well as respect for her absent family, the home, all the other people who were there, but most of all, for the young lady and her chastity.
I don't care that maybe someone else got "lucky" that night. I may not be perfect but I sure know right from wrong.
A moment that is supposed to be the purest form of expression of love, with someone that probably would not even remember most of what happened, then more than likely feel horribly regretful about it afterwards???
Most young guys these days have no sense of respect for anyone.
I imagine her today probably thinking about that night.
She was determined and willing. I chose to do the right thing.
Treat you what way? Disinterested and disappointed when you acted like a complete flake in bed? Or up and leaving when he realized what he had just stepped into?
She said she was having pain!,...why does that make her a complete flake???!!!! Sounds like you're one of the countless *******s, like him, that believe women exist to please you! Do women everywhere a favor and go rent a ***** when you feel horny,...don't screw with someone's head....you should get your **** together first!
Treat you what way? Disinterested and disappointed when you acted like a complete flake in bed? Or up and leaving when he realized what he had just stepped into?
^^^^Very true. You are trying to blame the guy in this situation because it didn't turn out the way you wanted. You have to share in the blame.
If you can find a mental health clinic that has sliding scale fees, you can afford to go see a counsellor.
She said she was having pain!,...why does that make her a complete flake???!!!! Sounds like you're one of the countless *******s, like him, that believe women exist to please you! Do women everywhere a favor and go rent a ***** when you feel horny,...don't screw with someone's head....you should get your **** together first!
She is partly to blame and you can't blame the men all of the time. She led him to believe they would have sex and it didn't turn out the way she envisioned. She has to learn to get to know the person better before jumping into bed with them.
Well, I do concur. Because around 20 years ago, my nephew and I were invited to a social gathering. A young woman(much like the subject of this thread) was there who was very beautiful and her friend told me that she was attracted me. I conversed with her and she was very nice. By the end of the gathering, we were invited to continue at her family's home, since no one would be there, so a few of us made our way there. The young lady became drunk and pulled me to a private place and began to get very aroused. I told her that she needed to calm down and she told me that she had vowed to lose her virginity this night and she chose me to do it. I told her that I would be right back. I made my way back to my nephew and told him that I wanted to get out of there. The girl with him left us and I was ready to leave. When she comes back, she tells me that I can't leave now because her girlfriend wants to be with me. I told her that I would not do it. The young lady comes over in tears and asks me why I want to leave. I told her friend and my nephew to come back to the room we were in and proceeded to tell her that she is a very beautiful young lady but vowing to lose her virginity tonight to ANYONE, was a lack of self-respect and well as disrespectful towards me.
The message I gave her was very similar to the one I gave to this young lady here. I told her that if she was going to give her chastity to me, that she was going to have to be my wife. And that was going to take some doing in the way of bonding emotionally and spiritually, mutual respect and most importantly - LOVE!
And even if all that was fulfilled, I refuse to have any form of intimacy with a drunken person.
That night I exercised discipline and self-respect, as well as respect for her absent family, the home, all the other people who were there, but most of all, for the young lady and her chastity.
I don't care that maybe someone else got "lucky" that night. I may not be perfect but I sure know right from wrong.
A moment that is supposed to be the purest form of expression of love, with someone that probably would not even remember most of what happened, then more than likely feel horribly regretful about it afterwards???
Most young guys these days have no sense of respect for anyone.
I imagine her today probably thinking about that night.
She was determined and willing. I chose to do the right thing.
I believe I must have read your post wrong because I agree with everything you are saying here. ^^ Sorry about that!
You are playing victim. What did you expect? You didn't know him. Why would you put yourself in that position? It was poor judgment and dangerous, to boot. You two didn't know each other, except from a surface perspective. You were naive.
I am not saying any of that to be mean, I just think you need a reality check.
Next time, get to know someone thoroughly before you jump in the sack with them. If you are looking for a long term relationship, ask about their values - and hopefully you know what your own values are . . . doesn't sound like you have put much thought into this.
I would just move on, emotionally - there is no reason to be "sad." You didn't really know him. You might have thought you knew him, but you didn't. Your ego might be hurt. I can understand that. Just vow to learn from this experience, pick yourself up and tell yourself you will do better next time.
It's all just one learning experience after another. Some are easier than others . . . but please don't put yourself in a vulnerable position with someone you hardly know and cannot possibly trust (because there is no foundation for that).
Good luck!
Get your hair done or do something else nice for yourself and chalk it up to experience. Don't dwell on it anymore.
I hope this thread fizzles out soon so you can let it go.
I feel like if I don't have sex with the guy, he won't want me and I'll lose out on the chance of meeting a potentially good guy.
A "good" man, one worth dating won't expect sex as a down payment for a future relationship. In fact the opposite is true. Dangling sex out like bait attracts the hit and run players, the disinterested and the users. I feel sad that you don't seem to consider yourself worth knowing or dating without sex as the underlying currency. Do you have a close friend, a pet, a family member that you can rely on for physical and emotional closeness so that you aren't so lonely and perhaps starving for validation and comfort? Going "out there" into the singles scene without a strong set of internal boundaries is like laying out meat in front of starving wolves. You have, and will attract the wrong type of men every time.
My advice (easier said than done) is to keep sex acts of all types off of the table until you really (really) know, have spent quality time with, like and fully trust a partner. If you wouldn't trust a man to care for a beloved pet or a younger sibling, then your relationship isn't ready for sex. If you don't know anything about a man's job, home and family then your relationship isn't ready for sex. If you haven't had time to watch how a man treats children, animals, ignorant drivers and the serving staff in restaurants then you aren't ready for sex.
You get my drift. Some relationships will never be ready and when you find that a supposed gem is an unlikable dud, consider that as a bullet dodged rather than a waste of time. Having withheld yourself, you won't have the feelings of worthlessness that you do now after this encounter with an unworthy man. IOW, you need time to observe the character of a man before committing your body or heart. Consider this event as a watershed moment and do things differently next time.
Take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you. I may miss my young body but I wouldn't trade my experienced and sturdy hearted self for all the gold in Fort Knox. It's hard to be young especially if you didn't get a good solid start. Best of luck to you.
Is it possible to have my thread deleted? It's making me feel a lot worse than before, people don't know the whole story and they're jumping to conclusions...I just gave a short, summarized version of it. He did a couple of things afterwards that were worse.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sounds like you're one of the countless *******s, like him, that believe women exist to please you! Do women everywhere a favor and go rent a ***** when you feel horny,...don't screw with someone's head....you should get your **** together first!
