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I think we tend to help family first, then friends, and when it comes to altruism towards strangers, we may tend to help the elderly and disabled first (if we're decent people), then whoever may seem (probably subconsciously, but perhaps calculatedly) the best prospect for future reproductive opportunity, and somewhere at about the same level, someone who may best be able to return a favor in some other way. So perhaps the other woman seemed to be a better prospect in some way, or perhaps she just appeared more helpless than you.
I'm in my early 20's right now and I have to deal with men who come across as being EXTREMELY shallow. I am tired of it. Since when do I only get respect if my hair is straightened, my clothes are tight fitted and my face is well-rested. The other day, I was trying to dig my car out of the parking lot since it happened to be covered with snow. Another young woman, who was very attractive, was doing the same thing-digging her car out. A man who happens to work with maintence at the apartment walked right up to her and asked her if she was okay and if she needed assistance. Here I am, eyes watery from the brisk cold, hair frizzy, wearing a puffy coat digging my car out with desperation before it got towed.
This isn't the only scenario.
When I do have tight fitted clothing, maintained hair and so forth, I get many more guys saying hello to me, holding the door for me and smiling at me.
Some won't even engage in a conversation based on how I look that day. It must be my generation. What a pity.
I'm sorry this happened to you. The next time I see two women in a similar predicament, I'll remember to help the uglier one.
Btw, I'll only do the above if I can't actually help both like the super hero I truly am.
I'm in my early 20's right now and I have to deal with men who come across as being EXTREMELY shallow. I am tired of it. Since when do I only get respect if my hair is straightened, my clothes are tight fitted and my face is well-rested. The other day, I was trying to dig my car out of the parking lot since it happened to be covered with snow. Another young woman, who was very attractive, was doing the same thing-digging her car out. A man who happens to work with maintence at the apartment walked right up to her and asked her if she was okay and if she needed assistance. Here I am, eyes watery from the brisk cold, hair frizzy, wearing a puffy coat digging my car out with desperation before it got towed.
This isn't the only scenario.
When I do have tight fitted clothing, maintained hair and so forth, I get many more guys saying hello to me, holding the door for me and smiling at me.
Some won't even engage in a conversation based on how I look that day. It must be my generation. What a pity.
Instead of being p*ssed about him approaching another female I would have asked him to help me too. Making light of it by saying "I know I'm not all glammed up right now because snow shoveling is bad for my mascara!" I think his response to you would've been a more accurate test of his shallowness rather than base it on who he visually responded to first.
You may have felt slighted but you also don't know if they may have exchanged quick hello's/conversation before, etc. so he went to her first. To make the assumption he picked her over you merely based upon looks sounds kinda.....catty.
I don't think it's that complicated - the OP is noticing that dudes pay a lot more attention to hot chicks in all scenarios. It is not uncommon that they totally ignore any woman they do not find attractive. They don't try to hide it or be apologetic about it so it is what it is. If some people think that is shallow, that is not an invalid opinion.
Location: Where ocean meets up with the naked land.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
I don't think it's that complicated - the OP is noticing that dudes pay a lot more attention to hot chicks in all scenarios. It is not uncommon that they totally ignore any woman they do not find attractive. They don't try to hide it or be apologetic about it so it is what it is. If some people think that is shallow, that is not an invalid opinion.
Thank you! I didn't want this post to be compliated either. I noticed something and asked a SIMPLE question. Does shallowness decrease with age. If you see in my original post, I wasn' implying ALL men, I was implying younger men and men find in MY generation.
Instead of being p*ssed about him approaching another female I would have asked him to help me too. Making light of it by saying "I know I'm not all glammed up right now because snow shoveling is bad for my mascara!"I think his response to you would've been a more accurate test of his shallowness rather than base it on who he visually responded to first.
You may have felt slighted but you also don't know if they may have exchanged quick hello's/conversation before, etc. so he went to her first. To make the assumption he picked her over you merely based upon looks sounds kinda.....catty.
Idk. I personally wouldn't respond well to that sort of comment.
Just ask for the help. No lightheardted comments about your looks is necessary.
Generally if they are shallow in their 20's they will be shallow in thier 50's. But, yes I think they can be a little less shallow if they have learned anything over the years.
Thank god we can just ignore that sticky about bashing the other sexes.
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