Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,020,703 times
Reputation: 9418
That's a helluva lot to want to change about someone. Why be with someone you want to change? You must be hooked on her looks and think you can mold her into something she's not. Find someone you can accept for who they are.
OP, I rather imagine that you've seen or read Gone With the Wind. Now the question: did Rhett Butler ever manage to keep Scarlett O'Hara? He loved her just the way she was, but he couldn't get her to settle down into a respectable marriage b/c she wasn't marriage material. If Rhett Butler couldn't do it, how do you think you can?
And you're gentle? This woman will eat you alive and spit out your remains on your mother's lawn.
I'm not trying to change her. I want to know what I can do to become the type of man that could lock her down. Would I need to cheat on her? Keep other women on the side? Be a party boy? I don't think the "nice guy" routine would cut it.
But, on the other hand, do you think a woman like this could function well in a "drama free" relationship?
Whether the object of the OP's post was a female, or flipping the script, a male with the same laundry list of 'yikes!!'-inducing traits, my advice would be the same...
To wit: the only changing YOU (the OP) need to do is into a reserve pair of sneakers as you run the Sam Hill AWAY from that person, with all due haste...
Come on---after reading the OP, all you get from his post is Why should she change?...'accept her as she is, and YOU change?' Uht to the uh-uh...nope...are you kidding me? I would think that he should have better things to do with his time than waste it trying to adjust to dealing with ol' 'Toxic Tina' (or once again flipping, 'Toxic Timmy')...he should (now this is just MY take) instead, focus his energies on finding someone a bit more compatible with him, rather than expend a lot of energy adjusting to that heart-attack causing list of 'no-no's'...
And I turn the question around---why does HE have a problem with who and what she is? Hell, any man (or woman) with a functioning brain would and should have a problem with a potential nightmare like that
You completely missed my point there Cappy-tan. Here 'tis loud and clear:
NO ONE has the right to expect someone else to change to fit their ideals. What I was trying to make him see is that if he wants that woman so bad, then he should change the only person he is capable of changing: himself.
And in answer to your "rep" question: yes I absolutely would give a woman the same advice. People should not go into a relationship expecting (or hoping) for the other person to radically change their spots. Leopards don't and neither do people. Cheers
Ha! Im very very familiar with this type of girl.
The ONLY way you can lock her down is to be super SUPER confident in yourself. You have to know your her best (in bed, from day-to-day). A women like this needs a man who treats her as expendable. She's going to mess with you horribly if you show even a hint of vulnerability.
Not worth it, eventually one will get weary of having to play the game and break down allowing her to cease the opportunity to mess with you.
OP, just go get a flog and beat yourself with it, it will be the same result.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
