Old, bitter, men hating women. Is that all there is left for me? (love, single)
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Both sexes do it... The trick is trying to stay positive through it all. As for myself, I simply do not get involved in 'relationships' anymore. Keeps things easier.
I'm 53, divorced 4 yrs after a 24 yr marriage. Jumped right in to a rebound relationship that I ended about 8 months ago. She was 44 with a 7 yr old son and 21 yr old daughter and 3 dogs she treated like kids.
Anyway I have started to date again and what I'm finding is that the women in my age range, 45-55, seem to all be very bitter about growing old and how they have been treated by men their whole life. All i hear about is how terrible their ex's were and how they can't trust men. They have these totally unrealistic expectations now of what they want in a man and won't settle for anything less.
it is almost like they want to be in a relationship in order to punish the guy for all the past sins men have committed against them.
And yes I know I am generalizing here but in my case so far these are the only women I am coming across. They present themselves at first as having it all together but it quickly comes out, all the stories of past abuse and being cheated on and how they have lost all faith in men or finding a decent one. I'm constantly asked, so what makes you different? What kind of friggin question is that?
I have had enough drama in my life to script 10 soap operas. I just want some peace and a woman I can have a good time with. I don't want to deal with or hear about someones ex or raise someone else's kids. I don't want to be compared to or judged against someones past relationships. We have all been screwed over one way or another. I just want to give someone my best and get the same in return. I'm starting to think at my age it is hopeless.
Maybe it's time I get a dog.
And I'm gonna re-stress what others here have told you...
In the words of my 20-something nephew---'you gotta do YOU!'
There are scads of activities out here for people in our age group (50+ that is...I'm 55)...take a cruise...learn to skydive...learn to rock-climb...scour your local paper, or better yet, pick up a copy of the local 'independent' paper, and look for things to do...
Do you have a library card? Use that sucker...make use of your free time, because the most powerful thing you possess is your imagination, and NO ONE can take that from you...learn to paint (LOL---even if it's paint by numbers)...learn to dance...go to wine tastings, if that's your style...
My main point is, don't worry so much about looking for 'the next one'...take the time to embrace yourself, and get more 'skills' under your belt...go out to eat alone...got a computer? You must, since you posted here---search engines can be your best friend, as far as finding things to do...
And finally, yes, by all means, get a dog...you'd be surprised at the number of people who will approach you and the dog, just as a means of breaking the ice...most importantly, don't go in search of---be the one all those 'non-bitter' women are searching for...
And one other thing...and I say this with the utmost sincerity...that title 'Bitter Old Men-Hating Women'? Making a sweeping genralization like that isn't good...just because your past few 'encounters' weren't successful, doesn't mean that every woman out here, eligible or not, is a bitter man-hater...nothing could be further from the truth...
Both sexes do it... The trick is trying to stay positive through it all. As for myself, I simply do not get involved in 'relationships' anymore. Keeps things easier.
I don't think you need to worry about never married or never having kids older men. There's plenty to go around. Leave the boys who have 5 kids by 3 women alone.
I don't think you need to worry about never married or never having kids older men. There's plenty to go around. Leave the boys who have 5 kids by 3 women alone.
Trust me, I'm trying!! I went out on multiple dates with a 29 year old man recently and he knew I didn't want children and he wholeheartedly agreed with me... Come to find out he has 3 with 2 different women. Bah.
Both sexes do it... The trick is trying to stay positive through it all. As for myself, I simply do not get involved in 'relationships' anymore. Keeps things easier.
Wow so disrespectful .... Sorry to hear that.
I have never told I am too.... whatever by a man, but I don't get into relationships either. And my life is so much easier.
Trust me, I'm trying!! I went out on multiple dates with a 29 year old man recently and he knew I didn't want children and he wholeheartedly agreed with me... Come to find out he has 3 with 2 different women. Bah.
29 AND THREE kids..... sucks to be him! Some are quite a bit older and still don't have any! I'd look into your mechanic circle. Us type guys are NOT ladies men and get few dates!
I wouldn't let it freak me out. Two things I think are going on.
Women are more communicative and at an initial meeting may be attempting to give you some of their personal history from which to build an understanding of them and to build a relationship from there. I'd listen as long as it didn't become an ongoing topic of conversation as it might reveal a lot of interesting things you should know about them.
The other thing is that they are searching to find out your attitude and values about what they're saying to make sure they don't repeat the mistake. They want to make sure you're different and that they can talk to you about anything.
This is a part of relationship building as opposed to just having a good time with someone. Depends on what you want.
You are finding women who aren't ready to be out there in the dating world. They haven't gotten over their previous bad relationships. It happens all the time and you were most likely not ready either.
Take some time and be alone. Learn to be happy with who and what you are without a partner. Recover from the past. The only thing that will do it is time. We all go through stages in our recovery and I think one of them is believing that all men/women stink on ice and aren't worth the effort. We eventually figure out that just because one man/woman sucks, that doesn't mean that ALL men/women suck.
In our age group, everyone has baggage. But there are LOTS of worthwhile people out there. People who are at home in their own skin and welcome the addition of worthwhile people to their lives.
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every single one of my girlfriends has been cheated on in their lives. One was engaged, got pregnant and her fiancé took the ring from their dresser and disappeared in the middle of the night. Ive been told I'm too ugly, too fat, too tall and (rather oddly) too successful by men.
You Have Time On Your Hands...Fill It Wisely...
Some are quite a bit older and still don't have any!
