Dating a widow or widower...or divorcee who isn't totally "free" yet!

[CArizona]

LibraGirl123...Thanks for the info. The groups sound great! I imagine that a lot of people in your groups became "outside friends" too. I'm the only widow in my circle of friends and this can be rough at times. I'd love to make some new friends who were a little more "free." (Free to go out to lunch. Or free to go other places once in awhile with "single" friends.)...This is what is missing in my life: Being around other people who are more like me!..I don't want to have to date just to get "out!" And my married friends are busy. A lot of them are still working...I have to change my whole lifestyle soon and make new friends. It's just been rough since my son has had health problems...What were the men like who came to your group meetings? I guess a lot of men don't consider going to support groups. (Compared to women.) I've never been much of a "group person" myself. But I'm sure I could benefit from being around other widows. (And widowers.) Thanks for your posts.

[SD4020]

If someone gave me a list of things that I needed to fix about myself... I'd tell them and their list where to go. Or to FO/AD... In that order.

[LibraGirl123]

Originally Posted by CArizona

LibraGirl123...Thanks for the info. The groups sound great! I imagine that a lot of people in your groups became "outside friends" too. I'm the only widow in my circle of friends and this can be rough at times. I'd love to make some new friends who were a little more "free." (Free to go out to lunch. Or free to go other places once in awhile with "single" friends.)...This is what is missing in my life: Being around other people who are more like me!..I don't want to have to date just to get "out!" And my married friends are busy. A lot of them are still working...I have to change my whole lifestyle soon and make new friends. It's just been rough since my son has had health problems...What were the men like who came to your group meetings? I guess a lot of men don't consider going to support groups. (Compared to women.) I've never been much of a "group person" myself. But I'm sure I could benefit from being around other widows. (And widowers.) Thanks for your posts.

I highly recommend support groups for whatever ails ya...nobody knows how it feels like someone else who has had a similiar experience. One of the best groups I belonged to was for widowed people under 45. After all these years, there are two women that I still keep in touch with, whom I met through that group.

So...what were the men like who came to our groups? Well, there were very few of them, their attendance was hit or miss, and I didn't really get to know them very well. Many times, the groups were entirely comprised of women. I do remember one widower who came to one of our groups for a few months. We heard later that he had married a widow (don't remember how they met)...and later still we heard that, unfortunately, they had divorced.

[CArizona]

LibraGirl..I'm glad you're still friends with some members of your group. That's great!..You're right. I'm sure it helps to be around people who truly understand what we're going through and how we feel etc..My married friends have tried to be nice and comforting. But they don't know how it feels (on a day-to-day basis) to be a widow or widower...I have a few divorced friends and it's different for them too. They stepped out of unhappy marriages where I didn't want my marriage to end!...I'm sure you can relate to all of this too! Guess we just need to be around people who have walked in our "shoes." (So we don't feel so alone and weird!) Right?? Thanks for your posts.

[stargazermunsta]

you are ready to have a relationship again when you don't even think about how your ex would react to your date. i really believe one should move on first before they start dating again, not date again to start moving on from a past relationship. for rebounds, flings and the like can be good for some people. but i believe it's best to go through the normal grieving process: desperation, anger, depression, acceptance, mindless fun, happiness, love (again).