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Now imagine if the guy simply didn’t buy a ring AT ALL to those who have not been married yet.
I don't have to imagine. I didn't receive an engagement ring, and I don't have a wedding ring either. (It was lost about six years ago.) We celebrated 15 years in December.
This is the least romantic comment I ever read. How is a tradition a business transaction? Unless your father sells you to a man who wants to marry you like you see in dirt poor countries...?!
I don't have to imagine. I didn't receive an engagement ring, and I don't have a wedding ring either. (It was lost about six years ago.) We celebrated 15 years in December.
And you didn’t get one later on either, right? You don’t have any ring at your finger at all now?
And you didn’t get one later on either, right? You don’t have any ring at your finger at all now?
Nope. I don't own an engagement ring (never got one) or wedding ring (lost in the move). I don't generally like to wear rings anyway, because I don't like to draw attention to my hands.
However, if he wants to buy me an emerald ring for our 20th, I won't stop him. And don't worry, I've bought him plenty of things.
This is the least romantic comment I ever read. How is a tradition a business transaction? Unless your father sells you to a man who wants to marry you like you see in dirt poor countries...?!
romantic marriage is a relatively new thing. In the past it was pretty much a business transaction. Families arranged marriages to increase their wealth, provide for useless daughters, keep peace between families, etc. Women needed provided for as they could not be financially independant, men need to "carry on the family name" and someone to keep home while he worked. Sounds like a business transaction to me.
2mares,
So you both proposed to each other or how did it go? Interesting. You also didn’t ask him for a ring later on once he saved enough money for it, right? Lots of women even ask their husband to even invest more and UPGRADE their ring whenever he saves enough. Good for you.
The first time we just talked about it "Think we should get married" "sure, I guess so" then we set a date. Second time I pretty much asked him. We had been dating a few years and bought a house together. We were out to eat and I asked him if he wanted to get married. No I never got a ring. I wasnt aware you knew most women.
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Hhhhmmm I think having a degree or job would be nice but then again, men generally wouldn’t really care. As long as she’s attractive to his eyes and nice to be with, that’s it. Maybe people expect less from women? Even women know men are not as strict or picky as women are when it comes to choosing a mate.
You didnt ask if men cared. IMO a woman should not marry if she has no means of support.
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Could be seen as a business transaction like you said but not sure if we can use that example as in a business transaction if only one is investing, evaluated, analyzed, put through tests to see if he has the resources, etc. Her family will want to see that their daughter marries well, that she’s being provided, etc. Therefore, like you said, an expensive ring will show that. Does she have anything to prove as well to him and his family other than simply accepting the marriage proposal?
Both are investing in their future. And women are indeed evaluated (looks, child bearing hips, cooking ability, virtue, etc.). Some men even evaluate the mother.
I guess what one has to prove is on an individual basis. Different things are important to different people, but not starving and having a roof over your head is pretty much important to everyone.
The first time we just talked about it "Think we should get married" "sure, I guess so" then we set a date. Second time I pretty much asked him. We had been dating a few years and bought a house together. We were out to eat and I asked him if he wanted to get married. No I never got a ring. I wasnt aware you knew most women
Don’t know most women the same way women don’t know most men when they say men don’t mind a one night stand.
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You didnt ask if men cared. IMO a woman should not marry if she has no means of support
Didn’t ask if men cared but even women agree men are less strict, less picky, easier to please than women. As some women have said here, a man that doesn’t spend enough money on the ring is showing that he won’t be her good provider, can buy a house, etc. How can a man determine if the girl is financially stable if women, generally speaking, don’t spend in the relationship when it comes to dating or have a symbolic purchase (like the engagement ring) that shows she is financially stable. I am basing this question on how some women say the monetary value of the ring determines if the man is good marriage material.
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Both are investing in their future. And women are indeed evaluated (looks, child bearing hips, cooking ability, virtue, etc.). Some men even evaluate the mother
Hips? It all goes back to looks but hips? Having her attractive to his eyes, sure, I can see that. Other than that, that’s about it.
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I guess what one has to prove is on an individual basis
Yeah, every couple works differently. It is important for the man to prove he can provide for a roof and other things of course.
For the women that want men to spend a pretty buck on their rings, I wonder if they are willing to cut down on certain luxuries (clothes, shoes, bags, vacations, prettier house, eating out, etc.) for the ring while their guy has the ring paid off.
romantic marriage is a relatively new thing. In the past it was pretty much a business transaction. Families arranged marriages to increase their wealth, provide for useless daughters, keep peace between families, etc. Women needed provided for as they could not be financially independant, men need to "carry on the family name" and someone to keep home while he worked. Sounds like a business transaction to me.
A diamond is supposedly a symbol of one's love for another, and it occurs to me if the guy in question wants to give me a a diamond that is not real, well..the implication is a rather unfortunate one. I'll concede that some women don't care about these things, some do. I wonder why women who care about things like this have to be so harshly judged, though. It's just a preference.
However, if he wants to buy me an emerald ring for our 20th, I won't stop him
Enjoy. Go for it!
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And don't worry, I've bought him plenty of things.
