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Thanks for saying that, a lot of people are bashing women these days for expecting the man to pay, but I wouldn't want my son not to when he gets to that point, despite the fact that I have paid after a number of dates with a guy especially if I was in a relationship. That being said, I still say it really does require a lot of effort for a woman to primp for dates so frankly I think it's only fair. Someone else was arguing about this in another thread and saying that it doesn't cost all that much to look good and that women were using men for free dinners. Sorry, all the free dinners in the world wouldn't amount to what I've spent. I could show you the bills. Thousands of dollars. Lasik, laser, surgeries, manicures, pedicures, hair cuts/color, clothes, female products, makeup, jewelry, etc. etc. Far more than dinners could ever cover.
For starters what in the world does Lasik, corrective eye surgery have a thing to do with dating and why does that entitle you to a binge of free entertainment and eating?
People come up with all these excuses but in reality people that want to present themselves well, are going to put some effort into it and they shouldn't have a sense of entitlement about it. Those people are going to look good regardless and most women are going to make an effort going on, man or no man.
And to me a woman that has THAT much work to that extreme probably has something to hide or a self esteem issue.
Also women that overdo it, are big spenders and you can bet they have credit card bills to die for. They are high maintenance and I'm sure they'll be looking to saddle me with the bill for their lifestyle.
I think the big problem in American dating is money and it seems that women rate a date based on the economic benefit and how much has been lavished on them, rather than an interest so much in having a good time. We've gotten too caught up in things and stuff, rather than good experiences and good people.
And now women are expected to brazillian wax, too - yes, that's become "the norm" and most guys these days expect it. Thank you, porn industry (not). Not only is that $$ but it's fricken painful, too! At least the first few times...
Whaaaatttt?
My lord you women always think men care so much about all this stuff and we really don't give a damn. I guess there are some picky types but if the sex is good your carpet size and boob size isn't going to matter. I have never, ever, ever in person heard one man ever complain that a woman did not have a brazilian, EVER. I have heard mocking jokes about the silly landing strip though.
Personally I'll take the full carpet and and skip the Mr. T mohawk.
I think the big problem in American dating is money and it seems that women rate a date based on the economic benefit and how much has been lavished on them, rather than an interest so much in having a good time. We've gotten too caught up in things and stuff, rather than good experiences and good people.
Who are all these women that all these bitter guys come onto this forum to complain about? I don't know any women like that in real life. I'm not saying that it never happens - but the majority of women are not like that. There are selfish and crazy people of both sexes - it doesn't make them the majority. The only person that I've ever talked to that had a story about spending a ton of money on a date was this guy in my old neighborhood. He told me about how he went out with this girl and spend over a thousand dollars on her on this date - and she spent half the night talking to other people. He was ticked off. I thought it was insane. He looked like he was in his 40's and he said she was in her early 20's. All I could think was - "Why the hell would you spend that much money on a person on a first date? And why the hell are you dating someone in their early 20's?" Instead of being impressed by how much money he dropped on a date - which is the impression I think he wanted to leave me with - I just thought - what an idiot.
My lord you women always think men care so much about all this stuff and we really don't give a damn. I guess there are some picky types but if the sex is good your carpet size and boob size isn't going to matter. I have never, ever, ever in person heard one man ever complain that a woman did not have a brazilian, EVER. I have heard mocking jokes about the silly landing strip though.
Personally I'll take the full carpet and and skip the Mr. T mohawk.
Well, back before I went celibate, I did date a Moderator cut: language who told me that my carpet was "out of style". Because I was newly single and hadn't been in the dating game in a long time, I was not familiar with what styles the porn ladies were wearing. I suppose I had lost touch with what was "in fashion". Isn't that terrible?
He seemed to care about "all this stuff" and was a critical person. That was many moons ago but I think he's still single and looking.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-05-2011 at 05:32 AM..
Who are all these women that all these bitter guys come onto this forum to complain about? I don't know any women like that in real life. I'm not saying that it never happens - but the majority of women are not like that. There are selfish and crazy people of both sexes - it doesn't make them the majority.
True for me as well. I don't know ANY women that behave as these guys complain about. However, I also don't know any men that behave as these men that are complaining, either. So my thought is, that these poorly behaving men and women are a very small sector of the population, and really not worth my time to worry about.
Is it liberal for women to expect men to be the ones who take the initiative, pay for expenses, etc. and maybe think about doing something after the months or years of initial/beginning stages, after he finally becomes a bf, after they get married?
This happens in eastern countries much more so. It is only the exception that it is not so. In some eastern countries dates are still arranged by parents and the women never take initiative or pay.
Of course there are still thoses (men and women) who stand by traditional dating roles. You cant change thousands of years overnight, but the west is much more progressive and liberal when it comes to gender roles and dating than the Asian countries. Everyone knows that.
"Why the hell would you spend that much money on a person on a first date? And why the hell are you dating someone in their early 20's?" Instead of being impressed by how much money he dropped on a date - which is the impression I think he wanted to leave me with - I just thought - what an idiot.
Bingo. As some men have stated that women dont need to preen and primp and do all those things to appear attractive and has been said women do this to impress other women, I believe men dont need to spend big money and they do it to look better and impress other men. I cant count the number of times I have heard men bragging about where they took their date and how much money it costs. Its not just an off hand remark that "we went such and such place last night" Its the whole "I took ___to ___. She ordered____. GD it cost me_____.Then we went____ and I bought her flowers. Those cost me____ . Next week Im taking her_____. Its going to cost me______but I dont care.
I even hear married men brag, I bought my wife_____, I took my wife____. Most of these are men whose wife works and pays equally for all the expenses and most probably paid for those things HE bought her. I even hear this form guys who dont work, but their wife does, yet he brags that HE paid for all these things. Hell, my bf trys to do that when he talks to his friends.
Well, back before I went celibate, I did date a Moderator cut: language who told me that my carpet was "out of style". Because I was newly single and hadn't been in the dating game in a long time, I was not familiar with what styles the porn ladies were wearing. I suppose I had lost touch with what was "in fashion". Isn't that terrible?
He seemed to care about "all this stuff" and was a critical person. That was many moons ago but I think he's still single and looking.
Do you have a preference for the man you're sleeping with to be hairy or clean down there?
Thanks for saying that, a lot of people are bashing women these days for expecting the man to pay, but I wouldn't want my son not to when he gets to that point, despite the fact that I have paid after a number of dates with a guy especially if I was in a relationship. That being said, I still say it really does require a lot of effort for a woman to primp for dates so frankly I think it's only fair. Someone else was arguing about this in another thread and saying that it doesn't cost all that much to look good and that women were using men for free dinners. Sorry, all the free dinners in the world wouldn't amount to what I've spent. I could show you the bills. Thousands of dollars. Lasik, laser, surgeries, manicures, pedicures, hair cuts/color, clothes, female products, makeup, jewelry, etc. etc. Far more than dinners could ever cover.
Fist off let me say that I always pay for the date and I prefer it that way. I think that is the way it should be for the most part, unless she specifically says she's taking me out which rarely happens. That is A-OK by me.
Now that that's out of the way, let me say this: the "I pay by looking good for you" excuse is baloney. You BOTH should be looking good for the date. No one told you to go get Lasik eye surgery for our first date, so drop it. Spending thousands of dollars to look good is on you, in no way does that "compensate" the man for paying for the date.
I'm completely averse to this entire line of thinking (dating as a set of transactions), but if you're going to support or deride it at least come up with an argument worth listening to.
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