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I met a gal last week. We've talked on the phone a few times. We haven't been on a date yet........she's already asking me to attend church.
I told her I don't like church. She said......."that's going to be a problem"......and she goes on to say.."I am god fearing....yada,yada,yada, I sing in the choir, blah,blah, blah....etc."
I thought to myself..."I don't even know her last name yet and she's already inviting me to church"......she's right, that is going to be a problem...not mine, but hers.
I NEVER accept invites from anyone to go to church. NEVER. Not that I would not attend but I'd rather select my own church and attend by myself.
Ok........how soon is to soon to be inviting someone to church?
...and how often does this come into play in YOUR relationships?
Personally, I'd be very happy if someone asked me that right off the bat. I'm not religious at all and then I would know that there is no point in getting to know this person any further - we would not be compatible. Better to find this out in the very beginning than after you already have feelings for someone and then have to decide what to do.
I would want to know right away...the fact that even before a date this is brought up shows that it is VERY important to her..its not to me, so I'd be out
I think it was way too soon for that woman to ask you to church BUT it seems like that is her world so it's better to move on since you're not as involved in church as she is.
Deal breaker. I'm an atheist so I tend to find out where they are religiously right from the beginning or as soon as possible as to avoid any dilemma's. As a former Christian, I can attest to their desire to convert you at some point. Might as well cut your losses before getting emotional involved if they are regular attenders. And If they don't believe but want to humor daddy or momma and go to church on holidays or special occasions, I let them know that I won't be joining them. Under no circumstances whatsoever am I going to church.
Ok........how soon is to soon to be inviting someone to church?
...and how often does this come into play in YOUR relationships?
As an atheist it never comes up, but I'm not sure what the big deal is if you believe in a god with a religion that has a church. If you don't believe, it's probably not a good idea to be dating theists.
The invitation to church before there has even been a date is a strong indication of her priorities in life.
If church is not a priority in your life then you should probably move along.
On the other hand, it depends on how the invitation happened. Were y'all even talking about a first date at the time? Maybe she wanted to instigate the first date and the thing she thought of was church. It could be that religion is not even a determining factor in her life choices. "Church" could just have been what popped into her mind because it would not require you to spend any money.
Why don't you go on a first date, first? That way you get more of the lay of the land and find out if religion is really that important to her. If she starts prosletyzing then you will know that it is time to move on.
She uses that tactic as a way to weed out the men that she wouldn't date. It sounds like she only dates God-fearing, church-attending men, and wanted to find out where you stood right off the bat.
Someone who shares her beliefs wouldn't be bothered in the least by an invitation like that. Whereas a man who is not a church goer would most likely be turned off by it.
I think it's good that she put her cards on the table at the beginning. You found out that you're incompatible without having to waste time and money dating.
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