American Men preferring European Women over American Women (child, vs, alcohol)
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I prefer neither (American or European). If I could chose, hhhhhmmm Asian all the way. Still, I can date American or European women and enjoy our time. There are good/bad in every culture from BOTH genders.
Years ago women wanted equal rights and equal everything. Now look what its come to. You are a B***h most of the time, you are materialistic, you are afraid to smile like it might let your guard down a little, heaven forbid. So now no guy will approach you. Now you complain you cant find a guy. Stop wanting the world, we cant give it to you. Most of the really enjoyable things in life cost very little or nothing at all, they're all around you.
PS; No im not a woman hater, or looking for revenge or something. These are just things Ive learned over the years.
It sounds like you and many other men here carry a deep resentment at the idea of women having equal rights under the law.
In the eyes of many men here on CD, it seems like all of our faults and flaws stem from having equal rights. If we are materialistic, it must be due to having equal rights. If we act like entitled princesses, it's because we have equal rights. If we are not happy and shiny flowers 24 hours a day, it's because of those darn equal rights!
I will echo this. I had a Gernan girlfriend for a few months. German (and pretty much any other European) women are much more genuinelly independent (not just for show), far more mature, 1,000,000 times less materialistic and less hung up on stupid **** they see on television. They are also much more open to experimentation, sexually and in general, more open to new adventures.
In general, European nations are vastly ahead of the fledgling United States socially. I am not saying this to diss the US. It's simply that European societies are more open, easier to live in as a non-conformist, far less judgmental. One thing I've hated about the US since living here is the way that men in pariticular are made to be drones and that the male body over here seems to be an object of disgust that must be covered up, or some valley girl yells "ewww". Males here seem to be brainwashed from an early age: be tough, be a man, show no weakness. Maybe it takes a stupid foreigner like me to tell you that your society is extremely oppressive, unless you live and breathe to conform to the norm, in which case, you'll earn more dinero here than the UK, Germany or France if you're qualified and business minded, perhaps prepared to sell your soul to the highest bidder.
Sorry for the long ramble. The US is a great country with world class cities, amazing scenery, the right idea (to a degree) when it comes to being able to defend yourself, but in terms of its society in general, it's still a developing country, IMO. It makes me wonder why Canada evolved so differently? Watch the movie "Revolutionary Road" if you haven't already. Think 50's version of "American Beauty", which in itself was an outsider looking in observation of mainstream American culture by fellow Brit, Sam Mendes. Having lived here for almost 20 years, I really get it.
On another note, I'm sure there are plenty of American women who think outside the box and prefer foreign men.
One thing that I think is important to keep in mind is that America is a new country; I'm glad you acknowledged that. I think a lot of people, including many of our own citizens, feel that our society should be as settled or stable as another country's. Why are we more like this country, or why can't we more like that country? But the fact is we're a young country and have a lot of growing to do. If something isn't good at the moment, that doesn't mean it will never be good. This is not the end of the road. While the country was founded on august principles, our huge and diverse population inhibits the integration of those principles, and these things take time.
Edited: There is a thread on this page from a very unhappy wife contemplating leaving her husband because they disagree about housework, which is unfortunately a frequent bone of contention between modern husbands and wives. This wife is German, and her husband is American military. There is no safe place for men from risk. In order to find love, you have to make yourself vulnerable. There's no getting around it, in my opinion, and I feel like many men here refuse to face that.
I have never done anything like that. And I fear that too many people are taking things seriously and are defining any type of bullying or comment as sexual harassment. It is not really rejecting, but questioning it. To get the details so that I can be sure that it is sexual harassment and not something else.
So what did they do to you?
Groping of private parts. Isolating and cornering, followed by tackling and pinning the entire body in an uncomfortable, scary, and painful manner. Smacking of butt. Making inappropriate overt sexual comments or propositions. All of it has happened and it was very different from standard bullying.
I am sorry that I used what you posted as an example. Anymore, it seems that so many women who post in the relationship forum who are in relationships feel the need to let the whole world know at every given chance that they are so happy with their perfect marriages. They some how find threads where saying this is somewhat relevent. It's a little off putting.
I too did this once along time ago. I was dating this girl and we used to laugh at her friend who was with an abusive guy. I have never abused a women. So we would mock them and act like our relationship was so perfect. The reason "ours" seemed perfect was because there was no passion. I wasn't in love and I don't know if she was either. Since I wasn't abusive and we rarely argued we acted so grandiose.
Well let me tell you, our relationship was far from perfect. She was a rebound for me. A few months later we broke up and they still stayed together. They didn't last forever, but lasted longer than "our" perfect relationship.
I guess I was speaking on behalf of so many who do this. I too have been at fault. You never know what's going to happen in life and you and anyone else can find themselves at the end of a crappy relationship. Who knows. It's good that some of you show appreciation towards your mate, but don't be blind. You never know what humbling event is lurking around the corner. I stopped posting on the relationship site for a little while because I started to feel like a hypocrate. Yeah, I am in a relationship now that I am not sure is going to last. So if I at 37 haven't made it work yet, who am I too be giving all this advice. I'm no relationship expert. Until I marry and have put down thirty or forty years there isn't too much I can tell someone on how to have a good relationship. I'm still learning myself.
Once again. Didn't mean to single you out. I apologize and I am happy that you have a good relationship. Don't take it for granted (not that I think you do). Had a best friend that I took for granted who just died from a drug overrdose. I wish I could take back the times when we didn't hang because of me being stubborn. I thought I had plenty of time in life to mend things. You never know what is going to happen in life...
Once again sorry for putting you out there.
Apology accepted. And I don't take anyone or anything for granted. I have lost too many people close to me to ever take anyone for granted. And also - I know that you never know what the future will bring. Do I think I'll ever get divorced? No. Could I be wrong? Of course! Although - I hope I'm not!
And when I say that all my reationships have been great - I don't mean that they have been perfect. I mean that they were great guys. They had their flaws - plenty of them - and some of them I couldn't live with. But they were still good people. I'm not turned against all men because of them. I just get so sick of men and women who blame the other gender, or a whole race, or whole nation. There are plenty of good people out there of both genders, of every race, in every country. People just need to find the best person for them. And it's going to be really hard to find the right person if they are so bitter against everyone! That's all I'm saying.
Best of luck to you! I hope it works out! And I'm sorry about your friend.
One thing that I think is important to keep in mind is that America is a new country; I'm glad you acknowledged that. I think a lot of people, including many of our own citizens, feel that our society should be as settled or stable as another country's. Why are we more like this country, or why can't we more like that country? But the fact is we're a young country and have a lot of growing to do. If something isn't good at the moment, that doesn't mean it will never be good. This is not the end of the road. While the country was founded on august principles, our huge and diverse population inhibits the integration of those principles, and these things take time.
Edited: There is a thread on this page from a very unhappy wife contemplating leaving her husband because they disagree about housework, which is unfortunately a frequent bone of contention between modern husbands and wives. This wife is German, and her husband is American military. There is no safe place for men from risk. In order to find love, you have to make yourself vulnerable. There's no getting around it, in my opinion, and I feel like many men here refuse to face that.
Time to make dinner.
Points well taken
Canada, Australia & NZ are new countries too though. How come they don't have the backwards mentality, pigeonholing of genders, religious nuts trying to bring religion back into politics (what your founding fathers opposed) and all of those countries have universal healthcare? Why did the Uhited States go off on this wild tangent? I'm sorry, but this is an extremely oppressive society and it doesn't seem to be showing any signs of improvement on that front. It as simple as this: althogh I have a very athletic body, people would ridicule me for wearing a friggin' speedo to swim in or yoga pants to do yoga in. Having been here for almost 2 decades (parents choice, not mine), I think I understand why there's so much violence and why so many people go postal (especially men).
Apology accepted. And I don't take anyone or anything for granted. I have lost too many people close to me to ever take anyone for granted. And also - I know that you never know what the future will bring. Do I think I'll ever get divorced? No. Could I be wrong? Of course! Although - I hope I'm not!
And when I say that all my reationships have been great - I don't mean that they have been perfect. I mean that they were great guys. They had their flaws - plenty of them - and some of them I couldn't live with. But they were still good people. I'm not turned against all men because of them. I just get so sick of men and women who blame the other gender, or a whole race, or whole nation. There are plenty of good people out there of both genders, of every race, in every country. People just need to find the best person for them. And it's going to be really hard to find the right person if they are so bitter against everyone! That's all I'm saying.
Best of luck to you! I hope it works out! And I'm sorry about your friend.
Thanks. And I like your spin on it, and I think your right. If you are so bitter it will prevent someone from finding the right one. Life has a way of keeping people down "if they let it". So good advice. Definately positive and I understand what you mean by some on here who feel like they want to blame a whole gender. I see your side and I see their side. I believe that there are some truths to what the op says, and that there also truths to what you say. I personally didn't see him per se as the overly bitter type. Especially, as there are some who can really be like that on here. I thought he made some valid points though. However, like everything, there are two sides as well as everyone has an opinion.
I think in the last twenty or so years dating has really changed, especially from an internet stand point. Plus within those years a lot of men and women dogged each other out. We were in a player era in the early nineties and that went to and from both sexes for a good ten years. Add in all of this technology now and we all want instant everything now. people are too quick to write someone off (Myself included) and really try for a relationship anymore. We put in little and expect alot. Both sexes can be like this. It's a different time in dating today from when I was younger. I have seen the change. I think both sides have good points. There's too little actual interaction today and too much cyber interaction. From that we've become bolder,(behind a computer), more anonymous (know one really knows us) we can say anything on here and we have become too self absorbed. There are people who are way to arrogant and cruel in their approach to dating. Examples, I won't date anyone 5'7' or under. I won't date anyone who isn't rich, tall, great job, etc, etc.
The point I am trying to make is that I think men are feeling alot of pressure to be perfect. Look perfect (enter metro sexuals), have money, nice car, and on and on and on. Not every man has these things and feels a bit slighted that this is what society is evolving into. Twenty years ago, people were together more out of love than money and fame, fortune, lifestyle of entitlement..That's alot of pressure on men and I don't think women see this sometimes when they are quick to slam a mans opinion. Yet, it doesn't apply to every female or male.
As a society, I think both sexes have become a little bit bitter. Part of that was and is because how gender roles have differed so much in the last twenty to thirty years. Boys are brought up thinking that women should be like this and this and to shake ideals that one has engrained in them that deep is very difficult for many. And let' s face it today, women just don't stay home and cook and men can't take care of their family with just their income. It goes on and on and I could ramble on forever, but it is just so much more complex than what everyone has said. The dynamics of it are so multi layered and for all I know I haven't a clue of what the hel l I'm talking about.
No hard feelings and take care of yourself
Smp
Last edited by supermanpansy; 06-15-2011 at 05:22 PM..
Canada, Australia & NZ are new countries too though.
Well, the US were established by Puritans; Australia & NZ - by jailbirlds... You tell me where the fun is supposed to be! It's like wanting to go to heaven! WTH would I wanna go there?!
Well, the US was established by Puritans; Australia & NZ - by jailbirlds... You tell me where the fun is supposed to be! It's like wanting to go to heaven! WTH would I wanna go there?!
Shame on you
Australia was founded by jail birds, NZ was not a penal colony.
Australia was founded by jail birds, NZ was not a penal colony.
I kinda wasn't sure about this one. Sorry. Then I suppose it's not fun!
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It's like wanting to go to heaven! WTH would I wanna go there?!