Dating later in life (marriage, guys, older, children)
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I get your drift and I agree. Unfortunately, you can't turn the clock back.
I know and I really wouldn't want too. I'm the serious one as i'm sure you know, shes the cut up. I like that about her, wish I could be more like that. I have my moments, dark humor. My kids are just now coming back around after the divorce. I'm heading out in the morning to pick up my youngest, he may stay.
Its not that shes not the one, its I'm not ok yet I guess
... We can only move forward and bring with us the lessons we've learned ...
You took the words right out of my mouth.
OP, the trick is to discard the baggage but keep the knowledge. As the pop-psych folk like to say, it's a process.
I think dating later in life can be better than dating earlier. The 3 Ms - Maturity, Manners and Money - can build quite a strong and enjoyable relationship. Absent the heavy baggage and laden with knowledge there isn't a 20-something in the country that can touch you.
OP, the trick is to discard the baggage but keep the knowledge. As the pop-psych folk like to say, it's a process.
I think dating later in life can be better than dating earlier. The 3 Ms - Maturity, Manners and Money - can build quite a strong and enjoyable relationship. Absent the heavy baggage and laden with knowledge there isn't a 20-something in the country that can touch you.
Yes indeed Sifu... I totally agree.. imagine that LOL ...
i agree that dating later in life can be more rewarding in many ways.
speaking for myself, i know myself better, know and understand my own priorities better, have let go of the things i was looking for in a partner that i recognize now don't offer the security (financial and emotional) i once thought i wanted. i don't care about trivial or material things as much as i did when i was younger, am more in tune with my sexuality and am more clear about what i want in that department as well. i am better able to recognize dysfunctional tendencies in a potential partner, understand the value of a stable family and background, and am better equipped to deal with conflict and compromise to find a resolution that is in the best interests of us both, not just a temporary solution designed to mask the issue and/or pacify and appease hurt feelings.
i am much more self sufficient in all ways now, which makes me more willing to take a chance on someone i might have passed by before......for a number of reasons....when i was younger, i tended to date 'safe' men, rarely ventured outside my comfort zone. now i'm interested in and have dated men i find exciting on various levels, for many reasons, and in ways that would have scared me off when i was looking for a 'safer' bet in a partner.
i chose all the wrong (for me) men when i was younger. out of some adherence to what i was 'supposed' to want out of life due to societal demands and familial/peer pressure. none of that factors into my choice of who to date now, and even though i've not found anyone yet with whom i want to have an exclusive long term relationship, i'm having a ball, and enjoying the freedom that comes from being more open, loving and remaining detached from expectation and outcome.
I think I get you too and I don't agree but I respect your opinion.
I was married for ages and I believed the H when he told me I would never do better than him. He was lying. Now my past experiences just make me appreciate the man I'm with even more. I think it's a choice you get to make. You can choose to be bound to the past or rise above it. I'm a rise above it kind of girl and my best days are always in front of me.
Rcm58, sounds like you are not emotionally ready for the woman in your life. The past is the past, and baggage has to be removed before one can sincerely move on to the next relationship. There is nothing wrong with not getting it right the first time and not marrying again. The person with whom you are involved needs to know. If she is fine with that, great. If not, love her enough to let her find a relationship that is good for her.
I disagree completely. As a matter of fact, as an older woman, I am so much better than I was in my teen's or 20's...I don't have "baggage" I have had "experiences" which make me wiser, and better. Any man who wants a 25 year old instead of me...have at it...I know who I would pick to have a relationship with...me now, or me then....definitely me now!!! I am so much nicer now, more accepting, not as concerned with material wealth, I think that dates going to the park can be better than spending $200 on theatre and dinner. Back in my 20's...I would have dumped a guy did not take me out to pricey dates on a regular basis...
Dating is easier for men because there is little at stake. No pressure to try to impress.
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Yes I do agree :)
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