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In no way can dating or living together or getting married again match doing it in your teens or early twenties. The baggage changes everything. I'm not saying it can't be good, great, better than it ever has been or at worst a good learning experience.
I celebrated my first year with my girlfriend yesterday, I still think shes a great lady and always will. I'm not driving down a second chance, everyone that wants one deserves one.
My point with this post is that with baggage and knowledge we didn't have before our first serious relationship comes compromise in our second or third or who's counting relationship.
It will never be new again and the truth is as happy as I am with her I have visions of building a cabin in the woods and vanishing.
I'm not really going anywhere, I'm a lifer, I know that. but I wished I could have gotten it right the first time.
Baggage schmaggage. Your life is the sum of your experiences...it can be good and it can be bad. Calling it "baggage" automatically makes it a negative thing.
That said, I agree that finding a compatible partner later in life is much harder. And marriage? Well, I can't even comprehend it at this point in my life. I always say it's like two trees. Plant them side by side when they are young, and they will grow together, support each other, and become a perfect fit. Try and plant them beside each other after they are older and much more mature, and they'll bump and cross, and likely never have the "as one" look that the other planting will. Nothing hard to understand about that.
The great thing about dating and being older.. not caring if I have a date LOL... yes.. I enjoy getting involved in a new painting I'm working on.. perhaps measure and start working on my built-in shelfs in my office... call up my friends and meet for drinks somewhere or just kick back and read a good book... I make up my mind about where I go and if I don't... so peaceful not doing anything at all.. of course I do like to read in CD too... ... well gotta go now and start my list of wood I need... have a great night everyone...
Dating and marriage up to the mid-30's is like a series of rollercoaster rides. It's fun and exciting and nauseating and nobody has any real control over where ego and instinct leads them. When it finally ends, it's an awfully long walk to the parking lot of reality. *scratches head* gee, what happened? We thought it was going to go on and on forever...
Dating later in life is more like taking a hiking trip together. Sure, it's more work, more planning, and more bags to carry uphill, but it's the kind of work people *want* to do together. That's what makes it so special and rewarding.
Unfortunately, one has to be in shape to take that hiking trip, and not many spend their lives preparing for it. Hence the difficulty of finding an eligible companion as the years pass.
Where to look? Places where people voluntarily endure hardship. Not because they have to, but because they choose to. Places like gyms, yoga studios, volunteerism, and so on. People who are not lazy tend to possess far more "knowledge" than "baggage".
Where to look? Places where people voluntarily endure hardship. Not because they have to, but because they choose to. Places like gyms, yoga studios, volunteerism, and so on. People who are not lazy tend to possess far more "knowledge" than "baggage".
Dating and marriage up to the mid-30's is like a series of rollercoaster rides. It's fun and exciting and nauseating and nobody has any real control over where ego and instinct leads them. When it finally ends, it's an awfully long walk to the parking lot of reality. *scratches head* gee, what happened? We thought it was going to go on and on forever...
Dating later in life is more like taking a hiking trip together. Sure, it's more work, more planning, and more bags to carry uphill, but it's the kind of work people *want* to do together. That's what makes it so special and rewarding.
Unfortunately, one has to be in shape to take that hiking trip, and not many spend their lives preparing for it. Hence the difficulty of finding an eligible companion as the years pass.
Where to look? Places where people voluntarily endure hardship. Not because they have to, but because they choose to. Places like gyms, yoga studios, volunteerism, and so on. People who are not lazy tend to possess far more "knowledge" than "baggage".
So true... funny that you mention "in shape"... I've been working toward my present health and finally have arrived... I've learned that I'm the only one that needs to be happy with the way I look... I do it for "ME"... I do enjoy the hike and alone is just fine too.... Games are for children and I've grown up... I do have a great sense of humor and a very youthful state of mind but when it comes to relationships, as I've aged, I hate games, deceit and false compassion... I've found my companion is "me, myself and I"... I smile much more and happy in my own skin... why did it take me so long to realize this??? Hmmm... maybe it was just "my" time... ... carry on and enjoy life one day at a time
RCM
I didnt realize you had divorced. Having divorced myself 2 years ago, I feel the same way you do. Life will never have that exciting innocence it once had. All the years of trials and tribulations can build up scar tissue. Someone once told me that you can never go back.
Perhaps whoever said your not ready is right. Im not sure I will ever get there.
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... well gotta go now and start my list of wood I need... have a great night everyone...
So true... :)
