What makes ppl want to "sow their wild oats", to begin with? (loving, 2013)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Optimus Prime
No, it only makes us more intelligent. It does not make us "special", whatever is intended by that word.
Humans have incredibly similar organ systems to most mammals, nearly identical skeletal structure, circulatory system, lungs, location of femur, tibia, fibula, mandible, heart, reproductive organs, etc.
Some humans are even born with tales.
We share an INCREDIBLE amount of similarities with animals of different species. We are just as frail, and often fall prey to the animals you claim are less "special."
What we also share with many of them is an instinct to NOT be monogamous. Monogamy is, again, a newly evolved social construct, not some fanciful "god-given" attribute.
Humans are deuterostomes, meaning that the basic, primal similarity that we share with all chordates (as well as starfish and some other creepy crawlies) is that our developing zygotes form a coelum that will eventually become the digestive tract and the point at which the fold for the coelum begins will eventually become the anus. In other words, one thing that we share with all higher animals is that we had an anus before we had a mouth. I find that interesting in an academic sense.
As to the bolded portion, I think I can agree if you mean "monogamy" in the modern judeo-christian model, but rites of marriage and human pairbonding pre-dates history and cultures that remain essentially wild and untouched by christianity still have life-bonds between men and women. Also, human children need two parents. We're not precocious animals, we require education and discipline. It's obvious that mothers of any mammallian flavor bond deeply with their offspring, but the capacity for deep bonds that human fathers develop with their children (and that bond can exist with adoptive children or in a "father figure" role) is there for a reason. We're supposed to have a mother and a father and serial relationships get in the way of that. The urge to stray may be natural, but the adhesiveness of a family is natural also.
We're complicated critters. I'm not sure anyone can speak in absolutes like "We're meant to be monogamous" OR "we're not meant to be monogamous" and be right.
I haven't read this whole thread - but I sowed my wild oats in college. I had a blast and I have absolutely no regrets! I'm now happily married and never feel like there is anything that I missed out on! I dated lots of guys (although I didn't sleep with very many people), went to parties, basically - lived it up! Most of my friends all sowed their wild oats and are now happily settled people as well. I think a lot of people feel the need to explore and let loose in their late teens/early twenties - as long as you are smart and safe about it - I see nothing wrong with it! It worked out well for me!
Short term relationships and flings tend to be far less stressful and dramatic than long term relationships.
This 23 year old won't be committing to anyone until I am in my 40s, and that's a maybe. Breaks my momma's heart. lol.
Interesting...long-term relationships are more stressful and dramatic, even if the hypothetical long-term relationship successfully results in a marriage, and a permanent union?
Isn't there hurt and baggage caused just by the break up and inherent messiness, of short-term relationships? (I wouldn't know though; I've never been in a short-term relationship.)
A good long-term relationship has very little stress. A short term relationship where you don't get too attached is low stress. I guess it depends on what you want. Of course, there are very messy short or long term relationships - perhaps even most turn out that way. But as Mr. Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
Interesting...long-term relationships are more stressful and dramatic, even if the hypothetical long-term relationship successfully results in a marriage, and a permanent union?
Isn't there hurt and baggage caused just by the break up and inherent messiness, of short-term relationships? (I wouldn't know though; I've never been in a short-term relationship.)
Knight even if the long term relationship results in a relationship...its still WAY more stressful than the short term relationship for obvious reasons
That whole waiting for marriage thing never works out, because people will always regret not sleeping with someone that catches their attention, even after marriage.
What makes ppl (and especially guys) want to "sow their wild oats", to begin with?
I don't understand the underlying psychology, behind the concept? Why not just ideally have one great, long-term, committed, steady love interest, exclusively, that you want to marry and be with, forever? Pls explain the rationale to me, that some ppl have for wanting to have many, short-term love interests, rather than one or only just a few, long-term love interest(s), that goes straight into a marriage?
It's about comparing & contrasting what you get as opposed to what else is out there. For one who has sown a few oats , I have to say your thinking is spot on. Because I've known so many people who only get confused rather than get clear about who they need as a partner. As a matter of fact, the 'one', takes a backseat to the novelty pursuit of many. Idk, I think if you know you have the psychological mindset of wanting only one true partner then that is what you should stick with. Dating many others only leads to bitterness and confusion. Commitment is really an individual's choice and is rarely made from being overwhelmed by another. Both people have to come to that decision alone and only then will they be prepared to meet a life partner.
I've known players who just got sick of it and became born again virgins. That's women and MEN. Yeah, guys who have done it all sexually and now just wanted a sweet woman who loved them for themselves. It's like an oasis in a sea of insanity. I'd like that for myself. I guess sowing oats can be productive if it brings you to that conclusion. Again, it's up to the individual as I'm not sure everyone is capable of true monogamy. In that case, it's best they be true to themselves and carry on rather than feel pressured by society to marry.
Interesting...long-term relationships are more stressful and dramatic, even if the hypothetical long-term relationship successfully results in a marriage, and a permanent union?
Isn't there hurt and baggage caused just by the break up and inherent messiness, of short-term relationships? (I wouldn't know though; I've never been in a short-term relationship.)
Are you trying to more adequately explain his point? Because you just did. Perhaps you don't know what it's like to be married?
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, I have to say your thinking is spot on. Because I've known so many people who only get confused rather than get clear about who they need as a partner. As a matter of fact, the 'one', takes a backseat to the novelty pursuit of many. Idk, I think if you know you have the psychological mindset of wanting only one true partner then that is what you should stick with. Dating many others only leads to bitterness and confusion. Commitment is really an individual's choice and is rarely made from being overwhelmed by another. Both people have to come to that decision alone and only then will they be prepared to meet a life partner.
