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Might be time to put on your big boy pants and grow up! Your going to med school...god help us!
At least he has the balls to admit it. A lot of people who have done the things he's done are always blaming putting the blame on the person who they cheated on which pisses me off to no end.
Tell your gf the truth. Why? Because she deserves it. You've become attached to the tease because she has qualities your gf doesn't have and she taps something inside you. I also say dump the tease as well. You're trying to rationalize your behavior and that's not right. You've invested 5 years with someone who has basically been your backbone, in a sense.. a buffer so to speak. Good luck in med school but, refrain from dating until you are whole within yourself & develop respect.. but, dont be surprised if one day, the tables are turned. I hear that karma gal is a real...
OP-Let me give you some quick words of advice..You are going to regret this little fling for the rest of your life if your girlfriend of 5 years finds out and leave your ass sitting in the dust. Your GF obviously has helped you get your shyt together whereas you'd be sitting in a alley or a morge right now if it wasn't for her. Get rid of this other complete whorebag RIGHT NOW!! Anyone who cheats on their bf of 2 years and entices someone else who's in a 5 year with a GOOD PERSON is a POS and will never be the woman your gf currently is..Good luck because your gonna need it..
At least he has the balls to admit it. A lot of people who have done the things he's done are always blaming putting the blame on the person who they cheated on which pisses me off to no end.
So minorly blaming it on himself via a public forum but continuing the basic charade of deceit is OK in your moral book?
It's pretty simple. Find a partner who is okay with a poly-amorous relationshipn your end, only. Get out of the relationship with your GF and GF #2, because (1) GF #1 is not into your poly-amorous behavior and (2) you're not okay with GF #2's poly-amorous behavior.
Find a bisexual girl who is happy to share you with other women, but wants no part of other men.
They do exist, and there's nothing wrong with such a thing.
I wanted to be real careful about this relationship so I never went out or partied, used substance, avoided Vegas like it was Juarez, or even talked to other girls - who weren't her friends.
Problem, addict places responsibility of rehabilitation on outside factors.
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Originally Posted by barclay09
...a girl who was prude but flirty... got a lot hotter and more promiscuous... She Facebook friended me and started messaging me. We talked a lot... naked pictures... webcammed...
The girl is a drug to your brain. Do you see where this is headed?
Quote:
Originally Posted by barclay09
All through this time, I was talking to my close friends who disapproved but tried to help me ease my conscience by saying it isn't real if it happens over the Internet.
Friends to you: "Hey buddy, it's OK that you're using meth, just don't let it affect your life and you'll be fine."
Solution: Ditch the morons.
Quote:
Originally Posted by barclay09
After crossing that line, I crossed the big line maybe 3 months ago.
You're in trouble, not because of this, because you are following a bad pattern of behavior which, in the presence of drugs, will be the end of whatever nice life you thought you were going to have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by barclay09
This started making me insanely jealous to the point where I told her I didn't want to see her anymore because I was getting attached (I didn't talk about the other guys). I was really cool about it when I actually told her whereas in reality I'm extremely, extremely attached now.
Translation: "I told Crystal Meth that I didn't want to see her anymore, but I was getting really ADDICTED to her so I'm thinking of staying ADDICTED to her despite how it may very well ruin my life because I'm ADDICTED to her."
Quote:
Originally Posted by barclay09
I feel like this is an isolated incident because it was just by chance / the mutual attraction / and history.
Oh yeah, it always is a random chance or bad karma or someone else's fault.
Quote:
Originally Posted by barclay09
...taking the whole picture into view: that she has no idea about it, that we have a stable relationship, that I'm a good boyfriend...
Yeah, you're a good boyfriend because she doesn't know about it. Now I've heard everything.
Ok, now, listen up. From your dependence on your girlfriend, to playing into the arms of some girl who probably has 5 other guys just like you, to making excuses for your behavior, to presuming yourself unable to control your urges... you're on a very bad path. You already know this, but you're unable to outrun the fact that YOU ARE ADDICTED to this drug--I mean girl.
You're using your girlfriend as the reason for your success, and therefore she may also be a good excuse for your eventual failure. If you don't see the problem that's being created here, you need to take a step back and look at the big picture. Until you take responsibility for what you do and what you achieve, you will always have an excuse.
I disagree that you need counseling, but you can buy a counselor a new boat to tell you what you already know, and to make you follow through on the things that you won't, if you feel the need. It's probably what your girlfriend is doing anyway.
Sorry if this came off as blunt, but there is no polite way to tell you that you're a hot mess, and not doing a good job of cleaning up either.
Option 5 - You're really not committed to your girlfriend, so maybe you should break up with her and take up with this other woman.
Option 6: Get yourself into therapy to uncover why you can act in with such disregard for others, act in a reprehensible manner and feel no remorse. Until then, cease all interpersonal relationships since you cannot even pick friends whose ethics are not reprehensible.
Yes, you're right - you pretty much are a scumbag. I noticed that none of your options included this one: come clean with your girlfriend about your cheating and leave the relaionship so that she can get on with her life and find a decent man who will treat her with the respect she deserves.
Also, you should never be in a romantic relationship again in your life as you will inevitably hurt the woman unlucky enough to get involved with you. You don't have it in you to be a decent and loyal partner. So just sleep around with loose women and be up front that you're just interested in sex. There are enough who are up for it that you shouldn't have to hurt people's feeling through the construct of a sham relationship.
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