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I've heard so much talk of the rules of dating lately...but it's all just stupid to me. I hate games and I don't want to follow the rules. The woman should never approach the guy, she should make him chase her, be busy when he asks to hang out, wait 24 hours before she returns his call...ugh. If I was a guy and a woman asked me out I'd think wow, she is really confident to come up and approach me. The last thing I'd think is wow, she must be so desperate for dates.
Approaching people for dates would be a LOT easier if people weren't such @ssholes. If the fattest, ugliest, nastiest guy I've ever seen who reeked of BO approached me for a date I would still be polite in my rejection. Thank you for asking but I'm not interested. I can't believe all the horror stories of how rude people are in their rejection of someone. It's really sad. I always feel flattered when someone approaches me and admire their courage in asking.
I've heard so much talk of the rules of dating lately...but it's all just stupid to me. I hate games and I don't want to follow the rules. The woman should never approach the guy, she should make him chase her, be busy when he asks to hang out, wait 24 hours before she returns his call...ugh. If I was a guy and a woman asked me out I'd think wow, she is really confident to come up and approach me. The last thing I'd think is wow, she must be so desperate for dates.
Great post! Couldn't rep you. There are no rules. There are only two individuals, and what's best for them.
why do so many women still stubbornly insist that the man take the lead?
If a guy shows interest in me, and I am interested in him, he will definitely know it. But I don’t “chase” guys. I’m just old-fashioned that way. I’m sure there are plenty of women on here who will disagree with me on that. But I think that “taking the lead” to ask a guy out robs the guy of something that most men are inherently wired to do...be the pursuer. If I take the lead, all he can do is follow, and that probably doesn’t feel natural for a guy (at least a manly guy, which is the kind of guy I’d be interested in). And if I were to be the pursuer, I’d never know how invested he is in me...which might make me end up worrying and wondering, and coming off as needy (which I’d never do, and is something I see posted on these boards quite often by women). If he’s the right guy for me, he won’t wait to be pursued. He’ll be a good man with a strong heart, and he’ll pursue because he’s smart enough to know how to do that. Good guys always find a way to pursue the girl they want. I read a great statement by someone on these boards a few days ago...something about that a guy will either “make the time,”, or “make an excuse”. So anyway, that’s my take on why I don’t pursue...if a guy is interested, he’s got to pursue me.
I've heard so much talk of the rules of dating lately...but it's all just stupid to me. I hate games and I don't want to follow the rules. The woman should never approach the guy, she should make him chase her, be busy when he asks to hang out, wait 24 hours before she returns his call...ugh. If I was a guy and a woman asked me out I'd think wow, she is really confident to come up and approach me. The last thing I'd think is wow, she must be so desperate for dates.
That’s how I think too. When women have approached me to ask me out I think it’s pretty cool considering how this is not common specially in the west. Doesn’t mean I will accept the invitation simply because she broke dating rules. I have rejected an invitation nicely and we’re still friends just fine.
It is often said “if a gentleman is interested, he will show it by asking a lady out”. I don’t see how this cannot be applied the other way around.
Seriously, there's nothing wrong with taking the intuitive! In fact, I think its easier for women to approach the man they want then men approaching women. Women can just simply break the ice easier and read men much better then us men read women, so they know when a guy is attracted to them. Us men in the other hand (most of us), can be so stupid and oblivious to how women may feel about us.
For example, I made a thread a while back but I don't remember what the title of the thread was but the topic was similar to this but more about my cousin not wanting to approach this guy she liked because she felt that it wasn't a womens job to approach a guy in ANY way. We argued since then about this stupid idea in her head on way she thinks women can't ask guys out. We debated to no end on this but finally, she figured she'll take my advice.
So, to make a long story short, her and the guy she met at the college have gotten to know one another but he was very shy but she felt that he was attracted to her. This whole time he just thought (from what she told me) that she just liked him as a friend. She really liked him and got tired of waiting for him to ask her out so she finally listened and did the rare thing by asking the guy out. In the end, things worked out well and they are now an item.
He takes more intiative now in terms of dating and all that but she agree's that it wasn't so bad to ask a guy out.
So all I am saying to you women is; if there's a guy you really want, don't fret, go for it!! There's nothing wrong with women approaching men and like I mentioned, its even easier for women!
Not to say us men will never make a move but c'mon, more so than not most of us men suck at approaching women, correct?
I don't see anything wrong with it, but it's just not my thing.
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I just wanted to encourage women to.....
There are no rules. There are only two individuals, and what's best for them.
