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So it's not true that if a guy really likes you or really wants to know you he will try and talk to you? A friend gave my number to a man that I mentioned in passing was nice looking. When she gave him my number she gave me his as well. He hasn't called me and I haven't called him. I just figured since he hasn't called he wasn't interested. I'm not used to making the first move, but am being told that I need to get over any shyness and fear I have and make a leap for it. *sigh*
I wouldn't bother. He has your number, if he was interested he would call. That's just me though. You can always call and gauge his interest if you don't want to be left thinking "what if", but I honestly think that if he had been interested in the least bit, he would have called.
Rereading your post, does he even know what you look like?
I wouldn't bother. He has your number, if he was interested he would call. That's just me though. You can always call and gauge his interest if you don't want to be left thinking "what if", but I honestly think that if he had been interested in the least bit, he would have called.
Rereading your post, does he even know what you look like?
The bolded is exactly how I feel, but in the back of my mind I do wonder 'what if'. He knows who I am. We've spoken couple times in passing but have never hung out. He invited me and a friend out but when the day came around it ended up being a hectic day and we had problems coordinating logistics. Nothing went right that day.
The bolded is exactly how I feel, but in the back of my mind I do wonder 'what if'. He knows who I am. We've spoken couple times in passing but have never hung out. He invited me and a friend out but when the day came around it ended up being a hectic day and we had problems coordinating logistics. Nothing went right that day.
If I had really liked him, I would find a way to re-organize that date with him and your friend- that way it's less pressure and more like an outing, not a one-on-one date. Does your friend talk to him more than you do? Maybe get her to invite both of you .
If I had really liked him, I would find a way to re-organize that date with him and your friend- that way it's less pressure and more like an outing, not a one-on-one date. Does your friend talk to him more than you do? Maybe get her to invite both of you .
If you go for the pressure-less outing there's a good chance the guy could take it as a sign of disinterest. The low-pressure outing is generally the first choice for women, but if you want to date the guy you need to DATE him. That pressure is how you show each other you are interested. You can take the pressure off a little bit (but preserve the dating intent) by going 2 guys and 2 girls so that it feels like a double date. If it doesn't feel like a date to him then he may assume you're not interested and move on.
Us guys have a hard time picking up on subtleties. There are many women I've hung out with as friends that I actually thought I was dating because their romantic intent was camouflaged or obscured. They were never clear about whether we were dating or just friends. My assumptions went one way, theirs went the other. It caused a lot of unnecessary drama. If you want to gauge his interest, you've got to telegraph your intent and make it obvious, otherwise he might not pick up on it.
It is said that women were conditioned several decades ago, by male approval or not, to be submissive coy and demure. And while these are not unappealing qualities, I think they have hindered many women who still think this way, fearing that they would be seen as loose, forward or even desperate. Gasp! So like other social ills, men will have to take the lead in dispelling these antiquated notions by admitting how much we actually delight in all women who are attracted and confident enough to approach us, thereby enriching our self esteem as well.
If you go for the pressure-less outing there's a good chance the guy could take it as a sign of disinterest. The low-pressure outing is generally the first choice for women, but if you want to date the guy you need to DATE him. That pressure is how you show each other you are interested. You can take the pressure off a little bit (but preserve the dating intent) by going 2 guys and 2 girls so that it feels like a double date. If it doesn't feel like a date to him then he may assume you're not interested and move on.
Us guys have a hard time picking up on subtleties. There are many women I've hung out with as friends that I actually thought I was dating because their romantic intent was camouflaged or obscured. They were never clear about whether we were dating or just friends. My assumptions went one way, theirs went the other. It caused a lot of unnecessary drama. If you want to gauge his interest, you've got to telegraph your intent and make it obvious, otherwise he might not pick up on it.
I totally agree but I suggested it as a first time thing, and if the feeling is there, they can plan a one-on-one date. The outing is just to get a feel towards one another and see if they really do click or not. She can go ahead and call and ask him out on a date, but that goes back to the point we were making that he never did call and therefore may not be interested. The outing is less pressure and risk at this point.
I totally agree but I suggested it as a first time thing, and if the feeling is there, they can plan a one-on-one date. The outing is just to get a feel towards one another and see if they really do click or not. She can go ahead and call and ask him out on a date, but that goes back to the point we were making that he never did call and therefore may not be interested. The outing is less pressure and risk at this point.
Yep. Again, this is what I'm thinking. Logically I'm straight. However, emotionally I'm scared of the rejection. I do wish I had called him when I first received his number. It's been a month now, kinda feel like I've missed my opportunity.
I have never had a problem approaching a man and asking him out...THAT'S HOW I GOT HUSBAND OF 15 YEARS NOW!! I went up and asked him on our first date. It worked!!
I totally agree but I suggested it as a first time thing, and if the feeling is there, they can plan a one-on-one date. The outing is just to get a feel towards one another and see if they really do click or not. She can go ahead and call and ask him out on a date, but that goes back to the point we were making that he never did call and therefore may not be interested. The outing is less pressure and risk at this point.
That's a good point. I'm biased since I ended up in the friend zone so many times I guess. My policy is to be clear from the get-go. It's the only thing that has ever worked for me.
I doubt you've missed anything, ~A New Me~. That is, unless you find shy, passive men attractive.
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Again, this is what I'm thinking. Logically I'm straight. However, emotionally I'm scared of the rejection. I do wish I had called him when I first received his number. It's been a month now, kinda feel like I've missed my opportunity.
