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If you want to salvage this thing, there is only one way to do it: ignore her and start banging someone else. you are a low end beta male to her, and everytime you beg, you make matters worse. By sleeping with someone else you may not even win her back, but you will at least win back your manhood. As it stands now, she will allow you to puppy dog after her, until she finds a new man who will be an alpha. THen you will get to listen to her tell you all about how he pounds her in the bedroom. It's been done before, I've seen it, and hell I've even been in her position. Thats what's coming if you keep up the status quo.
If you want to salvage this thing, there is only one way to do it: ignore her and start banging someone else. you are a low end beta male to her, and everytime you beg, you make matters worse. By sleeping with someone else you may not even win her back, but you will at least win back your manhood. As it stands now, she will allow you to puppy dog after her, until she finds a new man who will be an alpha. THen you will get to listen to her tell you all about how he pounds her in the bedroom. It's been done before, I've seen it, and hell I've even been in her position. Thats what's coming if you keep up the status quo.
REP, exactly. well put
I just don't think he'll be able to get the concept of alpha/beta if he's making a post like this. In general I see that alot with this forum, too many beta's enabling other beta behavior. "I respect women" ugh... stuff like that screams blueballs.
I just don't think he'll be able to get the concept of alpha/beta if he's making a post like this. In general I see that alot with this forum, too many beta's enabling other beta behavior. "I respect women" ugh... stuff like that screams blueballs.
Excuse me, I DO respect Women,...matter of fact I'm not the type of guy that likes to use the B-Word.
Here is my take on it: she likes you too much and whatever you do (how you respond) is making her feel bad. You are doing something wrong. It's causing her pain and so she is trying to protect herself by lowering her expectations with regards to you, she wants to cut herself off from pain that you are causing her and so "just be friends" seems like a decent idea to accomplish that.
because you begged her, she came back to you. that means she can't resist you, but you still are making her feel bad.
my guess is: you "respect" her too much. she wants to be treated as a sexual woman, show her that she is desirable and you want her and that will make her feel better
maybe i am wrong, but I met a guy like you before (and so did the woman in "mirror has two faces" movie), watch it maybe it will give you some insight (if this is the problem)
when you said: "i do not touch her" that's not something to be proud of
sometimes being touched shows women that they are wanted and cherished and desirable, other things (like platonic relationships) make them feel not special and unwanted
Actually*sigh*, we had sex a couple of times. And when we do I do touch her and all but, in general like talking about it such as almost every day of the week(on the daily basis that is) I don't do that unless she wants me to and even is she wants me to I still don't....it's just that I don't want to be that pervert person.
Okay let me put it like this, my ex-girlfriend and I first met each other a few months ago(back in January), then about a few weeks ago she wanted to break-up with me and just have us be "friends". Then a little bit later(a few days or a couple of days later after the break-up) I begged her to come back to me and she did but then about a couple of weks later she said to me about a couple of days ago that she wants to be "friends" again. I mean, what is it up with her, I don't treat her with disrespect, I don't curse at her, I don't abuse her, I was there for her when she was in trouble and when everyone talked negative about her all I cared for was she alright and everything's fine, when she needed something I was there and if I don't have it(such as money and others. etc.) I tell her that I don't have it. Also, I don't touch her any kind of way unless she wants me to(although she say's that she doesn't mind) but I don't because I respect Women, and when she had problems I let her talk to me about it. So, what is it that she wants? And for the past couple of days she still once in a while she touches me on the butt or tell me to get a haircut and such. She's say's that she would like for us to remain friends but is she just saying that to cover up that she still would like to be with me? And should I keep giving her space(which I did most of the time before the break-up since I do know that people in general want space) until she finally decides to be with me?
Obviously youve got a toxic relationship with her for whatever reasons, so, dont let a third breakup occur . Instead, give her permanent space and move onto a person whom you are more compatible with.
I'm going to tell you that the single biggest mistake you made was begging her to come back. Problem is she is now holding all the cards in the relationship and sees you as weak. She knows you will put her wants and needs before your own.
That being said, how do you fix it... Simple. Don't talk to her for a while. Don't be around, go out and find something to do. Get that hair cut, buy a new shirt and pants, get your mind off her. If she has any feelings for you at all She'll think you lost interest and most likely wonder why you're not begging to be with her again. She'll start to think she lost you and that will upset her which is a good thing.
If she wants to play games you need to be better at the game. The biggest problem is she is seeing you as weak and using you as her personal door mat. Don't let her do it.. I've been down this path a couple of times and it's a dirty set of mind games that's better left un-played but it does work. Create loss in her mind while making yourself seem more valuable will turn the tables after a break up.
This. Make yourself scarce. Don't be somewhere she is going to be, if she calls, texts, e-mails or messages you on fb (for example) don't respond.
Okay this is the classic scenario.......why nice guys finish last.
She doesn't respect you. Begging her to come back. Ex's are ex's for a reason. When she wanted to go let her go. She comes back to be friends so cool......................See her on occasion. Don't take all her calls. Don't let her confide and lean on your support while she's out shopping and keeping you in her back pocket.
Here we go.
Take 1 of every 3 calls
Never see her more than once a month
When she wants to confide in you and seeks your support - listen for a few seconds and then tell her "wow, I don't know on that, "Lisa" let me call you back a little later I have to take care of this ________"
Don't fill her in on everything you're doing.
As a friend does she expect you to still take her out and pay for all dinner/interaction...........break that up a little bit and/or don't take her to the places you used to take her on a date. Spend less money.
*You can be nice but you don't have to be anyone's doormat.
Why are you letting it happen. If she gets back together, you should turn the tables and dump her.
That's what I did with my now ex.
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She's say's that she would like for us to remain friends but is she just saying that to cover up that she still would like to be with me? And should I keep giving her space(which I did most of the time before the break-up since I do know that people in general want space) until she finally decides to be with me?
