sociopaths-be VERY careful of them. this is from a first hand account from dealing with one (wife, girlfriend)
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Very interesting. How did your mom meet him and why did she stay with him for so long? I imagine you are young if you are still having to deal with him. Has it had any negative ramifications on you being able to deal with other people?
Very interesting. How did your mom meet him and why did she stay with him for so long? I imagine you are young if you are still having to deal with him. Has it had any negative ramifications on you being able to deal with other people?
well, i don't remember exactly but i know that they met through friends i guess. she had just came to america and so did he. he really wasn't doing well when he met her cause he said he was homeless, shuffling around down the eastern seaboard for sometime prior to him meeting my mom. i don't know why my mom stayed with him for this long to be honest with you. she said that she was afraid to be a single parent or that she was scared to be alone. something like that.
yes but i wouldn't say that it has affected me to the point where i'm real screwed up. if i'm screwed up, it would have to be unrelated to who i am today even though certain things my parents have passed down to me such as anger issues.
I have a friend whos ex boyfriend is a complete sociopath.
He recently ditched her and their 3 kids and ran off to texas with another girl. She took him for child support, so he tried to get back with her so she'd drop the child support, proposed to her she accepted. Two weeks later he ran off with another girl- after he'd got a note from his doctor saying he was disabled so he would be exempt from paying child support for a year.
So now shes working as a waitress to support 3 kids with no money from him, with bed bugs in her apartment because she hasnt got the money to move out. and he wont give her any money- but still expects to see the kids and freaked out saying hed kill himself because she went on a date with another man.
well, i don't remember exactly but i know that they met through friends i guess. she had just came to america and so did he. he really wasn't doing well when he met her cause he said he was homeless, shuffling around down the eastern seaboard for sometime prior to him meeting my mom. i don't know why my mom stayed with him for this long to be honest with you. she said that she was afraid to be a single parent or that she was scared to be alone. something like that.
yes but i wouldn't say that it has affected me to the point where i'm real screwed up. if i'm screwed up, it would have to be unrelated to who i am today even though certain things my parents have passed down to me such as anger issues.
Well wishes in working on your issues. It sucks when your dealt a crappy set of cards. But in the end we are all responsable in how we respond.
Regards
LS
When or if you are old enough to get a job and help your mom, encourage her to leave.
She may well be thinking she has to stay with him for the families sake or misguided sense of loyalty. Or he could have lied to her and told her she'd be deported if she divorced him or something crazy.
OP, ln view of your post, your mom has suffered quite a bit at his hands. Even though you are young, you see the reality of their relationship. Maybe you can help her find resources that will help her leave so she can have a better life. She is getting older every day. And my guess is her "dh" will abandon her once she old and sick and unable to provide for him. Maybe now would be a good time to help her start taking those first difficult steps towards independence and a life of her own, backed by your loving support while she is still relatively young and strong enough to do so.
i'm kind of unsure if i want to talk about this personally but looking at my parents marriage and relationship, i seriously believe my father has antisocial personality disorder or some degree of it.
from what my mom has told me and from what i've seen my father do etc, he exhibits most of or if not all the signs of sociopathy. he knows how to be charming, he knows how to get you on his side to the point where you're vunerable, then without warning he'll take advantage of you and yours. he is also very controlling, manipulative, lies a lot, and all the other signs.
one thing that i can say about him is he put my mom through a lot of ship and he took advantage of her weaknesses and used it for his gain. according to him, he justifies his screwed up ness by painting himself as some figure that takes care of everything and that my mom, who is the breadwinner and actually does everything while he sits back and is unable to handle his responsibilities, is the one that is ruining his life. being that i'm his own son, he tells me this and i know this is another one of his sociopathic tactics at work. the sociopath will try to blame everyone for what they intentionally do and will even throw their loved ones under the bus if they have to. i've witness this first hand.
if there's anything to learn from this and something that my mom told me and i'm going to tell you this, know the person that you're dealing with like the back of your hand and if you are dealing with someone who isn't right, have people that know the person personally tell you that they're not right or something is wrong with them or you notice that something is off about the person, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM BECAUSE CHANCES ARE YOU'RE DEALING WITH SOMEONE YOU SHOULDN'T BE DEALING WITH.
my mom is pretty much in a hopeless situation right now and my father is set for life living off of her. it just hurts me to see that i can't protect my mother from my father's wrath and that the man that i have mixed feelings about my father that bother me sometimes. i love him but at the same time, i hate him. just something that i thought about writing since there's all this talk about sociopaths being in relationships and stuff.
OP...my heart goes out to you and your mother. I do admire your courage to publicly air this (it's not an easy task) I believe you'll change this situation for the better soon. Take care of your mother and be there for emotional support.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Vanderburgh
Is he a sociopath or a psychopath?
Sociopathy:
Spoiler
Visible symptoms include physical aggression and the inability to hold down a steady job. The sociopath also finds it hard to sustain relationships and shows a lack of regret in his or her actions. A major personality behavior trait is the violation of the rights of others. This can appear as a disregard for the physical or sexual well-being of another.
Although these symptoms are all present, they may not always be evident. Research has shown that the sociopath is usually a person with an abundance of charm and wit. He or she may appear friendly and considerate, but these attributes are usually superficial. They are used as a way of blinding the other person to the personal agenda behind the sociopath’s behaviour.
i'm kind of unsure if i want to talk about this personally but looking at my parents marriage and relationship, i seriously believe my father has antisocial personality disorder or some degree of it.
from what my mom has told me and from what i've seen my father do etc, he exhibits most of or if not all the signs of sociopathy. he knows how to be charming, he knows how to get you on his side to the point where you're vunerable, then without warning he'll take advantage of you and yours. he is also very controlling, manipulative, lies a lot, and all the other signs.
one thing that i can say about him is he put my mom through a lot of ship and he took advantage of her weaknesses and used it for his gain. according to him, he justifies his screwed up ness by painting himself as some figure that takes care of everything and that my mom, who is the breadwinner and actually does everything while he sits back and is unable to handle his responsibilities, is the one that is ruining his life. being that i'm his own son, he tells me this and i know this is another one of his sociopathic tactics at work. the sociopath will try to blame everyone for what they intentionally do and will even throw their loved ones under the bus if they have to. i've witness this first hand.
if there's anything to learn from this and something that my mom told me and i'm going to tell you this, know the person that you're dealing with like the back of your hand and if you are dealing with someone who isn't right, have people that know the person personally tell you that they're not right or something is wrong with them or you notice that something is off about the person, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM BECAUSE CHANCES ARE YOU'RE DEALING WITH SOMEONE YOU SHOULDN'T BE DEALING WITH.
my mom is pretty much in a hopeless situation right now and my father is set for life living off of her. it just hurts me to see that i can't protect my mother from my father's wrath and that the man that i have mixed feelings about my father that bother me sometimes. i love him but at the same time, i hate him. just something that i thought about writing since there's all this talk about sociopaths being in relationships and stuff.
I'm a psychologist, and it seems like he may just be an extreme narcissist. most people with antisocial personality disorder ("sociopath" and "psychopath" have fallen out of favor) are much better at hiding this from people than the man you are describing. They are almost without exception very good at faking genuine emotion. I have seen statistics that say that most people probably know a sociopath and don't realize it. Narcissists, however, see the world as revolving around them, and it usually is fairly obvious to people close to them. Try to think back to a time when your father did something wrong, and try to discern if he felt any genuine remorse. Some very extreme narcissists will feel very limited remorse for their own actions, but the most important difference between a narcissist and a sociopath is that sociopaths have no emotions. They are incapable of love, guilt, sadness, and happiness. Narcissists, however, are capable of emotion.
In either case it's no one good to be married to.
But, just some general advice, don't go throwing around terms and diagnoses you found on the internet. Consult a real-life psychologist. WebMD can only help so much. Also, this thread seems a little pointless, no one is going to come on and say "Hey, this is weird, I thought sociopaths were excellent people to be around!"
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