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Someone told me that the average man goes on 50 first or second dates before he finds a permanent relationship which lasts and average length of under a year and that the average date costs about $50 or so (lunch and a drink for two).
$50x 50 = $2,500 every year
why do I think the average guy is definitely not spending $200/month on dating? Or is he? Is there any truth to this?
Your numbers are skewed. You assume that the average man goes on 50 first dates all in one year. Also, the average date doesn't have to be $50.
Most of my early dates didn't involve much expense, if any. Hiking, biking, canoeing, museums, boutique art galleries, wine tastings, free concerts, dancing, etc., and maybe a drink or two - and often she'd buy a round. Mostly, I was looking for opportunities for conversation, and activities that would stimulate conversation. Dinner is relatively boring since it's so common and unmemorable. We can do that once we've established a connection and have mutual interests.
Someone told me that the average man goes on 50 first or second dates before he finds a permanent relationship which lasts and average length of under a year and that the average date costs about $50 or so (lunch and a drink for two).
$50x 50 = $2,500 every year
why do I think the average guy is definitely not spending $200/month on dating? Or is he? Is there any truth to this?
Well average would be the low:25 dollars ; high:75
I think that would be about right. We don't go out every week but dinner and drinks is usually over 100,movies is about 40-50, music shows...lol..well that depends. 50 bucks won't even get you one bob dylan ticket these days.
I agree cheap dinners are boring. You can't really go to a unique place with good food and drinks and get away with spending less than 50 it seems around here.
Someone told me that the average man goes on 50 first or second dates before he finds a permanent relationship which lasts and average length of under a year and that the average date costs about $50 or so (lunch and a drink for two).
$50x 50 = $2,500 every year
why do I think the average guy is definitely not spending $200/month on dating? Or is he? Is there any truth to this?
Seems cheap if you ask me.
Dinner and drinks is definitely around and above $100 bucks.
Dance nights. Maybe 100 there. Booze at clubs is expensive.
Movie nights. Maybe 50 there. Tickets and junk food.
At my college there was not much of a 'dating' scene. People got to know one another through classes, campus activities, parties, study groups, etc. so there was no real need to formalize anything by pairing up and going off somewhere to eat or do some activity. The equivalent of paying for dinner was saving her a spot in the cafeteria line while she hung up her coat.
I guess I did most of my 'dating' as a graduate student. I rarely spent more than $30 and when I did it was never a first date. I met my future wife during this period. We got married soon after graduate school so I have never experienced dating with any significant amount of disposable income.
On the other hand one of my best friends is a single guy, ex USAF, and a commercial airline pilot. He inherited a house and he has no debt obligations. Based on what I have seen, he probably drops an average of $300 per date almost every weekend night. He takes his girlfriends on tropical vacations if they stay together a month. I do not doubt that he spends 25K a year on dates and travel.
I suspect more people follow my pattern than his, but early-mid 30s single professionals are increasingly common, and I would suspect that they definitely skew the average.
I can vouch for what you're saying. I'm currently 30 andI didn't have half the disposable income as a graduate student at 25yo, to be dropping 50 bucks twice a week on dates. My social life was pretty meager when it came to that. As it was I dated my exwife [then gf] for all of those 6 years. Ironically, she disengaged herself emotionally from the marriage partially under the auspices that I was cheap and boring.
Fast forward and now my career is more established and I've pretty much doubled my income without any additional burden on my life (kids, wife etc). I easily dropped 300 bucks per weekend going to see the LDR gf I had a couple months back, easy. I barely had over that amount in monthly savings amount back in graduate school and right out of it. So disposable income plays a part.
That said, I'm not fond of spending that kind of cash on dating. The reality of the matter was that it set an artificial set of expectations on the part of the woman. If I had displayed an unwillingness to go through that expenditure, the relationship simply would have not facilitated itself. She was broke as a joke and didn't have the means to reciprocate the driving, lodging and entertainment expenditures that needed to occur in order for us to physically see each other. And she wasn't a trophy, so the expenditure was an attempt on my part to see if there was something that could blossom from our physical proximity, to which there was not one unfortunately.
Furthermore it would have set the wrong precedent, seeing as how I'm looking for a "cheap" woman myself, one who will not require that level of material expenditures in life as a prerequisite for her companionship and fidelity.
I like the fact your buddy is ex-AF and a pilot. I'm right up his alley (AF pilot) and it sure seems I'm following his footsteps love life wise. Not really by choice (though my entry into military service WAS a choice, granted). It's been extremely hard to establish traditional relationships under the pressures of military service and the constant relocation to inhospitable places. Particularly when it comes to dating my "equals"; they're simply too career oriented or relocation-averse themselves to entertain a relationship with someone with my career demands. Two Chiefs can't hold down a tribe; there's no indians lol. So, by the time you get out of the Service as you point out, we're economically established with a decent income but with none of the external economic pressures of our peers, say in our late 30s to mid 40s. As a result the disposable income available to pursue these fleeting interests without abandon is much more apparent. Also the prospect of marriage seems further devoid of added value at that life stage (after all, we've survived without that marriage license and the world didn't end), which further fuels this "niche". At some point we grow too old to accommodate the mannerisms and impositions of another human being.
Ah who are we kidding..if it flies, floats or f___s....you know the rest....
spending money on a GF is a totally different question... we're talking about spending money on a first or second date with someone where there is a high likelihood you will never see her again and you may not even like in the first place. I frequently took my ex GF to $100-200 dinners and it wasn't a problem at all but spending that kind of money on a stranger...I think it does not set a good tone starting off on that kind of footing. If a girl likes a guy then even a free first date should be fine...
What do you guys do in this situation:
a) You suggest a coffee place to meet but when you arrive she says "do you mind if we go to XXXX it's more comfortable but if you want we can still go to [coffee place]" where XXXX is an adjacent full service restaurant where she proceeds to order drinks and dinner turning a $25 coffee date into a $100 dinner date.
b) You invite a girl for drinks with the line "hey, let's catch a drink or two at XXX", then you are seated and the waiter comes along and starts pitching all the specials etc. and before you can say that you're just there for drinks she says "oh gosh i'm starving, I had to go here and there and didn't find time to eat....", again a $30 drink bill now is a dinner bill for $100.
Both situations have happened to me before but I have just paid the bill and never seen the woman again...I never heard from her again anyway.
I think that would be about right. We don't go out every week but dinner and drinks is usually over 100,movies is about 40-50, music shows...lol..well that depends. 50 bucks won't even get you one bob dylan ticket these days.
I agree cheap dinners are boring. You can't really go to a unique place with good food and drinks and get away with spending less than 50 it seems around here.
Ha ha! High maintenence woman alert (or big spending man).
If you're spending $50 on a first or second date, you are a fool and/or like high maintenence, gold digging women.
No reason you can't go play tennis, ride bicycles, and go for ice cream or dessert/coffee for a first date or even just a $20 or less lunch/dinner at some Vietnamese place. A nice restauarant need not cost > $20.
Ha ha! High maintenence woman alert (or big spending man).
If you're spending $50 on a first or second date, you are a fool and/or like high maintenence, gold digging women.
No reason you can't go play tennis, ride bicycles, and go for ice cream or dessert/coffee for a first date or even just a $20 or less lunch/dinner at some Vietnamese place. A nice restauarant need not cost > $20.
Well in my situation there is no reason I can't spend more than 50$ and still have the option to do other cheaper things too. Besides he pays. If I try to pay I get pinched. I don't know why you are so bitter about my life that you have to resort to name calling.
I don't know why you are so bitter about my life that you have to resort to name calling.
I'm not calling you names, I'm just calling a spade a spade. Just admit you're high maintenence as your behavior is illustrative of such.
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