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If she smoked when you met her, then whats the problem now?
This should be a common topic on this site but since most men just avoid such women, it seldom gets an airing. Women smokers often just have no idea what their dating problem is.
If young women knew how most men who don't smoke, detest women who do, they would never take it up.
Perhaps anti smoking advertising needs to address this. I've always thought that the only thing keeping the smoking habit alive is that it hasn't become "totally gross" in the view if young women.
Scocar, it's an addiction. That's all that needs to be said and probably all that can be said.
But in her case it clearly is not an addiction, but rather a choice. She quit 12 years ago while pregnant. She smoked once at a wedding, when she was a bridesmaid and several of the other bridesmades were smoking at the reception (she was pretty drunk that night). Then has not touched a cigarette in 7 years since and has always communicated that the smell of them made her ill. Then all of a sudden we move back to her hometown and she starts again. That is not an addiction.
So my wife used to be a smoker. In fact she smoked when we met. I hated it as it's a big turnoff for me. At first she slowed down and would only smoke at work and then occasionally when we went out. Then when she got pregnant with out daughter 12 years ago she stopped completely. I found out that she has started to smoke occasionally, again. Not around me, but I found a lighter laying around and then found an empty pack of cigarettes in the truck. She said it's because her job is very stressful and many of the other girls smoke as well, so it was easy to pick back up. Well obviously I don't want my wife doing something that turns me off. And I would hope neither does she.
The thing is I have a hard time explaining to her why I don't like it. It's really not because of the smell. My wife always has mints and I've never tasted cigarette smoke on her when kissing her. I know smoking is a big turnoff for a lot of people, so I thought maybe others could explain why.
It is patently unfair to marry someone with the intention of "changing" them.
Smoking is not a turn off to me. In fact, I find the smell of FRESH cigarette smoke or cigar or pipe tobacco immensely sexy. When I met my husband he smoked. He has since quit, but I would never dream of trying to force him to smoke again just because I think it smells good.
Most people find smoking distasteful because the media preaches this to them. Most people cannot make up their own minds about anything and NEED the television to tell them what to think, do and say.
I never disliked the smell or taste of cigarette as much as I do the premise behind it. It's a very stupid habit, and I can't think of a reason why anybody would start it other than peer pressure and that itself is a huge turn-off. It makes me think the person has no character. It's also extremely unhealthy and I can't think of why anyone would intentionally poison their body that way. That's why I dislike it. The smell or taste I don't mind so much, though I do hate the tartar/plaque that builds on your teeth...that's gross.
I think this is similar to how I feel. In addition I just get turned off when I see a female smoke. Sort of like I would if she lifted her leg up and farted. Or if she was chewing tobacco and spitting. These are all unattractive things to me and thus would be a turnoff. I just find it a very non-feminine looking act. Some guys don't feel the same way and that's fine, but to me the sight of a women smoking is very unattractive. So clearly it becomes an issue when my wife is doing things that I find unattractive.
It is patently unfair to marry someone with the intention of "changing" them.
Smoking is not a turn off to me. In fact, I find the smell of FRESH cigarette smoke or cigar or pipe tobacco immensely sexy. When I met my husband he smoked. He has since quit, but I would never dream of trying to force him to smoke again just because I think it smells good.
Most people find smoking distasteful because the media preaches this to them. Most people cannot make up their own minds about anything and NEED the television to tell them what to think, do and say.
Kinda sad, actually.
20yrsinBranson
I hope you are not implying that is what I did. I thought I was pretty clear that I did not pressure my wife into quitting. She quit when she found out she was pregnant with our daughter. But I think it's patently unfair to rekindle a habit you had kicked 12 years ago just because you enjoy doing it. If I had given something up 12 years ago that I knew my spouse was against and was overjoyed that I had given up, I certainly would not start up again without some serious thought about her feelings on the subject.
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