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Whats your number? 3 good ones and a few that wern't worth remembering
If you're dating a man/woman, does their number matter? Don't care, but I imagine a really high number may mean she has issues that are beyond just sexual. A really high number doesn't mean she is good either!
Do you think you should be judged by the number of sexual partners you have? Nope, and neither should she. As long as it's really really good thats all that counts!
I love your answer to the second question.
My husband tells me that all the time. He knows I don't have that much experience with that many men, and sometimes I can feel self conscience about that fact. He often tells me that it's not the number of partners, but rather the quality ....
I will also add, at least from my experience, how I react, how my body reacts to one man is not the same as it will be for another.
While I am the same person, the sex I had with my ex is nothing like the sex I have now................
Yes, I would want to eventually know. Actually, I would like to know before I sleep with her.
Yes, I hold myself to the same standard.
For me, it is mostly because it is an indicator of discretion, integrity, character, and dignity. That's not to say people who responsibly or through some empowered stance have a lot of sex partners lack those qualities... but there is a sharp contrast in the type of person who can be intimate to that degree with so many people, and myself. For me, sex is more than something two people can just do to have fun... there's more to it than that, and I really think most people believe the same (but are too horny to really think about it).
Personally, it would be a point of concern for me and I would take it as a character flaw. What is it about you, or how you view sex, that enables you to be so cavalier or open with other people? How much has popular culture influenced that person into rationalizing sex as a casual hobby?
It would be an interesting discussion, to be sure. And, of course, some context matters and so does age/situation.
For me, 5 or 6 is probably normal, and anything above that and I'd be bothered by.
Would you say the same thing about ped0philes? It never ceases to amaze me how people pick and choose what they feel is moral/immoral. I highly doubt most anyone here is tolerant of my lifestyle and religion. The Ancient Greeks/Romans use to think pedophilia with young boys was acceptable and anyone who dared criticized was considered not accepting, rude and condescending. After all, it was just so normal in society? I guess moral principles are gauged by the society we live in. The Canaanites in Ancient Israel thought sacrificing their eldest children to the false-god Molokh was a very noble and honorable cause.
To each their own..
You can't compare what took place thousands of years ago and apply that to modern society. Despite all of our troubles and shortcomings around the world, we've come a long way since Caligula.
I'm curious what your religion preaches...intolerance, paranoia, judgment?
It never ceases to amaze me at how the most self-proclaimed righteous, pious individuals are also the most intolerant of others and their lifestyle choices.
I'm just happy you read that post. I saw how long it was and skipped over......
I don't even want to know.. But, it makes me sad to think my father would not be the only one.. I highly doubt any person can stomach seeing his parent with another person. Of course, there are exceptions, like if the person had an abusive parent and the father/mother remarried. But, once again, people who have loving parents don't want to think of their parents being with other people.
You are now perverting what I wrote and blowing it out of proportion.
No I am not. You brought up your Mother and how awful it would be to realise your parents slept with other people. You are the one with issues around sexuality. You are the one who holds virginity in the highest regard like it's some kind of freakin' gemstone. You are the one who wants to be head of the household, the big head honcho boss of your wife.
You are the one with skewed views that are not congruent with most of the other posters on this forum.
I don't care what you believe, it's your life. But don't tell other people what they can and can't do...that is their right to live their life the way they choose as well.
I don't even want to know.. But, it makes me sad to think my father would not be the only one.. I highly doubt any person can stomach seeing his parent with another person. Of course, there are exceptions, like if the person had an abusive parent and the father/mother remarried. But, once again, people who have loving parents don't want to think of their parents being with other people.
You are now perverting what I wrote and blowing it out of proportion.
Yes, if my mother slept with 100 men, I would still have to forgive her. I am a man of honor and respect. That would
FYI, my mother did not grow up in the 21st century. Despite, growing up as an atheist in the hippy generation she probably had nowhere as many partners as Serenity or yourselves. I know my father wasn't the first. It makes me sad, but I put it away from my mind..
Just a suggestion....consider a visit to a therapist, a Christian therapist would be even better for you because you've got real issues.
Your extremist views are obviously making you very unhappy and incapable of seeing the healthy side of sex - even for our parents.
It is just not normal or necessary to be "sad" that your father was not the first and only partner your mother ever had.
Whether you believe it or not, some of us are grownup enough to see our parents as PEOPLE, not just parents.
AND, we have absolutely no trouble seeing our parents with someone other than their co-parenting partner.
You can't compare what took place thousands of years ago and apply that to modern society. Despite all of our troubles and shortcomings around the world, we've come a long way since Caligula.
I'm curious what your religion preaches...intolerance, paranoia, judgment?
It preaches love, respect, kindness, honor, devotion, diligence.. You may interpret those qualities as bad traits, but well everyone interprets things differently.
Yes, we believe to wait for marriage for sex. We believe that people should be virgins before they marry. We believe in loving our children and never abandoning them. So, monthly visits or getting the kids on the weekend ordained by the court would not be an acceptable living situation for people in my religion. We believe in hard work, caring for the poor, helping orphans and widows.
Sure, many will just go ballistic on me and ridicule me, relentlessly, because I view sexual intercourse as sacred and don't believe in recreational sex as acceptable. However, they on purpose choose to overlook all the other good and noble qualities of our religion. Basically, we are taught that cheating on our spouse is an abomination. Sure, we don't get to have all the fun that the others have before marriage, but our spouses can feel more assure that we will be their in the end, than rather until somebody else comes along more pleasing. We believe in living a selfless life rather than a life of self-indulgence. Basically, most people live to please themselves, hence why they have recreational sex. We, live to please our God, and that means to sacrifice pleasures to achieve greater rewards.
Some may find this rubbish, but in the end, our marriages are longer lasting.
I would like to start another poll to counter that of Serentiy
How long has your marriage lasted and how many previous sex partners did you have?
That will be a new thread I start in honor of Serenity and others here. They have done viable studies proving that more sex partners a person has before marriage, the less likely they are to stay married for extended periods of time. I am not a Catholic, so please nobody make assumptions, However, they have found people who don't use birth control, but natural methods , like Natural Family Planning, tend to have more fulfilling sex lives and long and happier marriages.
It goes back to my cookie jar analogy on my other thread. In this society, people raide the cookie jar before eating the vegetables. They want their treats now and right now! Yet, they cannot understand when they get sick from indulging on the junk food and not eating the less appealing healthy food. Cookies (sex) were meant as a treat after you eat your meal (your marriage). However, many people throw away the meal and go for the cookies, just like an undisciplined little child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Just a suggestion....consider a visit to a therapist, a Christian therapist would be even better for you because you've got real issues.
It is just not normal or necessary to be "sad" that your father was not the first and only partner your mother ever had.
Do me a favor and go blow your money on your "Christian therapist". Most therapists are mental cases themselvses. WHo has issues? I think it is you. I'm not a CHrisitan and rather not waste my time with Christian therapists Um.. I think any good Orthodox Jewish rabbi would understand why you would be upset that your father and mother were not virgins at marriage. In our religion, we are suppose to stay virgins at marriage and it is shameful not to be, both for men and women. Many parents would freak out to hear there son/daughter lost their virginity before marriage. So, why should it be so out of place if a child feels bad that their parents didn't uphold the mitzvah of virginity, that the parents expect them to uphold? I am sorry that your immorality makes you feel that I should visit a therapist to lower myself to your lower moral viewpoint. Perhaps, you should visit a rabbi? I can setup the appointment for you?
Yes, I would want to eventually know. Actually, I would like to know before I sleep with her.
Yes, I hold myself to the same standard.
For me, it is mostly because it is an indicator of discretion, integrity, character, and dignity. That's not to say people who responsibly or through some empowered stance have a lot of sex partners lack those qualities... but there is a sharp contrast in the type of person who can be intimate to that degree with so many people, and myself. For me, sex is more than something two people can just do to have fun... there's more to it than that, and I really think most people believe the same (but are too horny to really think about it).
Personally, it would be a point of concern for me and I would take it as a character flaw. What is it about you, or how you view sex, that enables you to be so cavalier or open with other people? How much has popular culture influenced that person into rationalizing sex as a casual hobby?
It would be an interesting discussion, to be sure. And, of course, some context matters and so does age/situation.
For me, 5 or 6 is probably normal, and anything above that and I'd be bothered by.
I hear you. Depending on how old she is probably just as important. 5 or 6 at 21 yo is proabably normal, about 2 boy friends a year. Any more than 60 at 40 yo I would want to hear some explaining.
It preaches love, respect, kindness, honor, devotion, diligence.. You may interpret those qualities as bad traits, but well everyone interprets things differently.
Yes, we believe to wait for marriage for sex. We believe that people should be virgins before they marry. We believe in loving our children and never abandoning them. So, monthly visits or getting the kids on the weekend ordained by the court would not be an acceptable living situation for people in my religion. We believe in hard work, caring for the poor, helping orphans and widows.
Sure, many will just go ballistic on me and ridicule me, relentlessly, because I view sexual intercourse as sacred and don't believe in recreational sex as acceptable. However, they on purpose choose to overlook all the other good and noble qualities of our religion. Basically, we are taught that cheating on our spouse is an abomination. Sure, we don't get to have all the fun that the others have before marriage, but our spouses can feel more assure that we will be their in the end, than rather until somebody else comes along more pleasing. We believe in living a selfless life rather than a life of self-indulgence. Basically, most people live to please themselves, hence why they have recreational sex. We, live to please our God, and that means to sacrifice pleasures to achieve greater rewards.
Some may find this rubbish, but in the end, our marriages are longer lasting.
I would like to start another poll to counter that of Serentiy
How long has your marriage lasted and how many previous sex partners did you have?
That will be a new thread I start in honor of Serenity and others here. They have done viable studies proving that more sex partners a person has before marriage, the less likely they are to stay married for extended periods of time. I am not a Catholic, so please nobody make assumptions, However, they have found people who don't use birth control, but natural methods , like Natural Family Planning, tend to have more fulfilling sex lives and long and happier marriages.
It goes back to my cookie jar analogy on my other thread. In this society, people raide the cookie jar before eating the vegetables. They want their treats now and right now! Yet, they cannot understand when they get sick from indulging on the junk food and not eating the less appealing healthy food. Cookies (sex) were meant as a treat after you eat your meal (your marriage). However, many people throw away the meal and go for the cookies, just like an undisciplined little child.
So what do you say to those who choose not to marry? But have long stable relationships??? Celibacy for all?
So what do you say to those who choose not to marry? But have long stable relationships??? Celibacy for all?
Indeed, I am a celibate of 33 years .. It is not easy, but I will not sleep around with girls.. There is such a thing as love without sex.. But sex is for marriage and marriage alone. I don't see the point of being in a "long-lasting relationship" if you are not going to get married. It just sounds like people who are not willing to commit and like to go search out relationships or sex escapades on the side. Really, if you are living with someone for a long period, why not marry? You are really confusing me.. Sex is reserved for two people who know they will spend the rest of their lives together and at least, in theory, plan on never leaving the other person for anyone else.
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Um.. I think any good Orthodox Jewish rabbi would understand why you would be upset that your father and mother were not virgins at marriage. In our religion, we are suppose to stay virgins at marriage and it is shameful not to be, both for men and women. Many parents would freak out to hear there son/daughter lost their virginity before marriage. So, why should it be so out of place if a child feels bad that their parents didn't uphold the mitzvah of virginity, that the parents expect them to uphold? I am sorry that your immorality makes you feel that I should visit a therapist to lower myself to your lower moral viewpoint. Perhaps, you should visit a rabbi? I can setup the appointment for you?
