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This seems like a non issue to me. In all my years I have only met 1 guy who said he would only marry a virgin. That was 40 years ago and he is still single. Just goes to show you that fat,obnoxious,slovenly,fetid,selfcentered men shouldnt be so damn picky about a womans number of partners.
And if you were to test positive for an STD, then what ? Would you tell your current B/F ? Would he stick around ? Did he get tested and if he tested positive, would he tell you or keep it a secret for fear of you not wanting to have sex with him ? This national STD epidemic (involving some 65,000,000 adults) is a tricky thing to navigate isnt it ? And even if you do pass the STD test, whats to say you dont pick up one right after it without you knowing since many of them take a long time before they are evident ?
It kinda shoots down the whole 'safe sex' mantra doesnt it ?
Makes one wonder if there is a better way that is totally STD proof (?) .
I will say one thing... If people would stop placing a stigma on STIs and focus more on education and prevention (lower income especially)... those important "I have chlamydia or etc etc etc" phone calls would take place. Quite a few are treatable with an antibiotic if known early enough after infection. Also, antivirals are effective in preventing the spread of other STDs. IF people are WILLING to talk about it without stigma and ridicule and fear....
I dated an OB/Gyn for two years, and he still talks about the utter fear women have of talking about it when they come into his office. He donates one day a month to an indigent clinic and is disturbed by the what low income H.S. graduates even know... parents are the ones ultimately responsible in making sure their children are protected.
It is not Russian Roulette and sex is not a crime! However, to just throw figures out there without some basis of explaining is not helping the matter. Also, not discussing that most of those cases reported on SDIs is Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and others that are easily treated, again, with a simple round of antibiotics! But we place this "dirty" stigma on that put the uneducated in fear of being judged.
* Over 70,000 Americans have a viral STD--like genital herpes, HIV/AIDS, or Hepatitis B.
70,000+ in a population of 300+million.... Again, break down the stats even more an you see where we, as a society, have failed to educate.
It is one thing to know the stats, it is quite another to know what they mean and how to use them.
And if you were to test positive for an STD, then what ? Would you tell your current B/F ? Would he stick around ? Did he get tested and if he tested positive, would he tell you or keep it a secret for fear of you not wanting to have sex with him ? This national STD epidemic (involving some 65,000,000 adults) is a tricky thing to navigate isnt it ? And even if you do pass the STD test, whats to say you dont pick up one right after it without you knowing since many of them take a long time before they are evident ?
It kinda shoots down the whole 'safe sex' mantra doesnt it ?
Makes one wonder if there is a better way that is totally STD proof (?) .
007.5. I have read several of your posts in the past. I just want to say that I'm sorry that someone,somehow has made you very bitter and contentious about sex. Darn shame. I'm sure whoever made your d*ck drip in the past, didnt mean it.
And if you were to test positive for an STD, then what ? Would you tell your current B/F ? Would he stick around ? Did he get tested and if he tested positive, would he tell you or keep it a secret for fear of you not wanting to have sex with him ? This national STD epidemic (involving some 65,000,000 adults) is a tricky thing to navigate isnt it ? And even if you do pass the STD test, whats to say you dont pick up one right after it without you knowing since many of them take a long time before they are evident ?
It kinda shoots down the whole 'safe sex' mantra doesnt it ?
Makes one wonder if there is a better way that is totally STD proof (?) .
I always use protection, and have never tested positive. I get tested every 6 months even if I haven't slept with anyone just to be safe. If I were to get infected it would be fairly easy to pinpoint who I received it from and I would be totally open about it, just as I would expect someone whom I've slept withto be open about it with me.
It's this crazy thing I call being an adult.
And no, I do not advocate abstinence, nor do I think Jesus cares what I do with my body, since I've read enough of your postings to see where this is going.
I will say one thing... If people would stop placing a stigma on STIs and focus more on education and prevention (lower income especially)... those important "I have chlamydia or etc etc etc" phone calls would take place. Quite a few are treatable with an antibiotic if known early enough after infection. Also, antivirals are effective in preventing the spread of other STDs. IF people are WILLING to talk about it without stigma and ridicule and fear....
I dated an OB/Gyn for two years, and he still talks about the utter fear women have of talking about it when they come into his office. He donates one day a month to an indigent clinic and is disturbed by the what low income H.S. graduates even know... parents are the ones ultimately responsible in making sure their children are protected.
It is not Russian Roulette and sex is not a crime! However, to just throw figures out there without some basis of explaining is not helping the matter. Also, not discussing that most of those cases reported on SDIs is Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and others that are easily treated, again, with a simple round of antibiotics! But we place this "dirty" stigma on that put the uneducated in fear of being judged.
In addition to fear and stigma, a lot of people have an "ignorance is bliss" mentality towards STIs. Certain kinds of infections are asymptomatic, but still can be passed to partners. If people were responsible and get tested regularly if they know that they are non-monogamous and sexually active, spread can be reduced as well.
I always use protection, and have never tested positive. I get tested every 6 months even if I haven't slept with anyone just to be safe. If I were to get infected it would be fairly easy to pinpoint who I received it from and I would be totally open about it, just as I would expect someone whom I've slept withto be open about it with me.
It's this crazy thing I call being an adult.
And no, I do not advocate abstinence, nor do I think Jesus cares what I do with my body, since I've read enough of your postings to see where this is going.
Exactly, among the educated and open, that is the way it is suppose to work... I got a call like that once, I thanked him (odd to thank someone) and went and got tested. However, I totally respect him for being man enough to make the call and made no accusations with an undertone of shame.
It is this oppression that dictates shame and fear.
In addition to fear and stigma, a lot of people have an "ignorance is bliss" mentality towards STIs. Certain kinds of infections are asymptomatic, but still can be passed to partners. If people were responsible and get tested regularly if they know that they are non-monogamous and sexually active, spread can be reduced as well.
Very true and that is why I mentioned my experience with the OB/Gyn. Women go in for their annual and that should be one of the tests requested. In Dallas, for $50, you can get tested anytime... In some states, it is free.
Yet, there is this fear and stigma that promote the "ignorance is bliss" or denial....
I also think, even with a "monogamous" relationship... it should be, at the minimum, yearly still. I love a relationship that is built on trust, yet I have enough life experience (living and observing) to know that it is not always the case.
What kind of background makes it ok to sleep around with a bunch of men? I was always told you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.
It's call mistakes. It's call growing up. It's call change. It's call story. I was always told that you shouldn't judge someone by their past.
I'm sure that whatever past you have you would want your spouse/gf to accept you for who you are. If you can't do the same to them, don't expect them to do the same to you. Simple as that. If it really bothers you that much, just be honest but in a polite way to let them know that you have preference.
while that works for you, I would not want to keep track.
There are some things I do love to remember and hold on to, but there are some things I wish I could forget.
Its not that I want to remember, its really a security issue.
If I ever catch an STD, at least ill know exactly where to find [And possibly injure] them. And If I ever get one, at least Ill be able to notify the last person I slept with.
Ive never had anything, but the thought just makes me want to be safe in any way I can. The average person doesnt care about anyone in their past who they've slept with, and that is sad.
Its funny to think that, since most people dont have this info, they're taking a huge risk.
You can never have too much information handy.
And also, Im not a fan of the "dont ask dont tell" bull****.
If he knows, great. If he doesnt, I probably wont mention it because Im not insecure about it. If he asks, he will get the truth. Im not going to lie to myself, or my partner.
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