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OP Quote: "People were saying rude about us because he white and I was asian..."
Think you're probably still Asian Do you really not know why you broke up? My case he is/was Jewish, I'm not. Really big issue although they weren't practicing and his mother married an Italian man. I had the same bs from other people but not from my family, only his.
I was 17, he was 21 when we met. We lasted for 5 years, the last year was torture. He became a very different person and did a 180. Became passive aggressive & highly jealous in a subversive way which meant he'd try to bring me down all the time. I could write a novel. It really scared me as I don't get passive aggressive behavior. When I love someone, I treat them that way period. Oh I tried to break it off numerous times and he'd insist he loved me and then would treat me like crap (to keep me in line). He wasn't like that with me in the beginning until he moved back home and I followed and saw his parents. Wow! I have to say it is so important to meet your partner's family and see their dynamic because that is what they grow up in and become eventually.
Anyway, 10 years later and I still get flashbacks. I'm a take no prisoners type now. I saw what I absolutely didn't want and carry that with me so anyone who shows signs of what I experienced is OUT!
OP Quote: "People were saying rude about us because he white and I was asian..."
Think you're probably still Asian Do you really not know why you broke up? My case he is/was Jewish, I'm not. Really big issue although they weren't practicing and his mother married an Italian man. I had the same bs from other people but not from my family, only his.
Uh, for me, my first real relationship started when I was 17, he was 21. We lasted for 5 years, the last year was torture. He became a very different person and did a 180. Became passive aggressive & highly jealous in a subversive way which meant he'd try to bring me down all the time. I could write a novel. It really scared me as I don't get passive aggressive behavior. When I love someone, I treat them that way period. Oh I tried to break it off numerous times and he'd insist he loved me and then would treat me like crap (to keep me in line). He wasn't like that with me in the beginning until he moved back home and I followed and saw his parents. Wow! I have to say it is so important to meet your partner's family and see their dynamic because that is what they grow up in and become eventually.
Anyway, 10 years later and I still get flashbacks. I'm a take no prisoners type now. I saw what I absolutely didn't want and carry that with me so anyone who shows signs of what I experienced is OUT!
Thats what I just said it was the fact I was asian. I came to that conclusion without your observation pointing it out ... but the fact that we dated for so long 3 yrs.... Why would someone be in a relationship if that was the issue. It doesnt make sense. . People didn't consider me to be ugly by any means. I His friends had no problems with me. whatever though
But you cant really see it front on. Guys put on a front ALOT; which scares me. So you dont really know what is really him.
.
Well, there must have been fights about something wrong in your relationship. Was his family nice to you but you felt something was 'off' like they were faking it? He didn't have a problem with you being Asian but maybe his family did. If this break up is new, he might still call you like mine did and talk about what was really going on.
My single worst experience was with my first (and last, so far) long term boyfriend. After 5 years together, we had a bit of a tiff about his work, because he had been working there for nearly 3 years and he never invited me to any functions. Christmas parties, new years, random parties etc., but would always come home and brag about how much fun they were. I knew I was able to be invited because I was friends with one of his coworkers girlfriends and she always wondered why I didn't come. Well, I asked him why I was never invited to his stuff when he was always invited to mine.
Turns out, he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public and didn't want his coworkers to know we were dating. After 5 years together. He said he didnt like my tattoos, I was too tall and he was afraid that my breast size would make his coworkers think he was dating a rather 'loose' woman.
It was absolutely horrible to have him say all those things and every once in a while I'll think about it and get really self conscious. We broke up very soon after that and I'm actually friends with a few of his coworkers now and they all think I'm pretty awesome. His loss.
Thats what I just said it was the fact I was asian. I came to that conclusion without your observation pointing it out ... but the fact that we dated for so long 3 yrs.... Why would someone be in a relationship if that was the issue. It doesnt make sense. . People didn't consider me to be ugly by any means. I His friends had no problems with me. whatever though
But you cant really see it front on. Guys put on a front ALOT; which scares me. So you dont really know what is really him.
.
I overheard a couple guys talking about "this asian chick" one of them was dating and how hot she was etc..but them they started talking about how he wanted "white" kids. Sounds horrible, but maybe you were with someone how had some hidden racial issues.
I overheard a couple guys talking about "this asian chick" one of them was dating and how hot she was etc..but them they started talking about how he wanted "white" kids. Sounds horrible, but maybe you were with someone how had some hidden racial issues.
: ( really? How old were these guys? In their late 20s - early 30s?? Makes me upset. Whatever, his loss.
Last edited by Sarahpc122927; 11-01-2011 at 11:11 PM..
Reason: .
my single worst experience was with my first (and last, so far) long term boyfriend. After 5 years together, we had a bit of a tiff about his work, because he had been working there for nearly 3 years and he never invited me to any functions. Christmas parties, new years, random parties etc., but would always come home and brag about how much fun they were. I knew i was able to be invited because i was friends with one of his coworkers girlfriends and she always wondered why i didn't come. Well, i asked him why i was never invited to his stuff when he was always invited to mine.
Turns out, he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public and didn't want his coworkers to know we were dating. After 5 years together. He said he didnt like my tattoos, i was too tall and he was afraid that my breast size would make his coworkers think he was dating a rather 'loose' woman.
It was absolutely horrible to have him say all those things and every once in a while i'll think about it and get really self conscious. We broke up very soon after that and i'm actually friends with a few of his coworkers now and they all think i'm pretty awesome. His loss.
I dated a girl for about a year who had Borderline Personality Disorder. It's too long and too convoluted of a story to post on an internet forum. She almost ruined my life. The two years following our relationship were the darkest years of my life. You read that right. The relationship lasted just short of one year.....The fallout continued for two.
I'm preparing to write a book about my experience, and I hope that it can be a case study of the disorder, as she displayed all of the characteristics to the tee.....all of them. It's a hell of a story.
I'll keep this on the story short, as it is rather long.
I met my ex when I moved in with a few people I knew from work or school. Two of them I knew, but the third person was someone I didn't know. We would have parties every weekend, getting drunk, playing music, just having a blast.
It was me that set it in motion. Mr. Lonely-Heart, wanted something and I got it one night; however, I took it as a start of something more. Where I believe she took it as a one night stand.
One thing lead to another and she got pregnant. We moved downstate together, so I can land a better job and start a life with her. Things started to get worse when she wouldn't want to get up to take care of our daughter, or lose her job she had and she didn't want to pursue anything.
I got fed up with her constant whining about missing her friends and family, so I went with her back to her home town and that's where I made the decision of splitting up.
She was fat and lazy and didn't want to pursue anything more than working at a grocery store or fast food restaurant. My mom even offered her $100.00 for every 20lbs she could lose but didn't want to put in any effort. She would stay in her pajamas and sleep the whole day. She would leave messes in the area we lived at and not clean herself up daily.
People constantly said, "You can do a lot better." While I silently agreed, I thought I could change her to be a better person. Someone that wanted to get up early in the morning and take care of our daughter and pursue something she wanted. The decision was easy when she lost her second job for a similar reason with the first job. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I got over her quick and felt relieved. I landed an awesome job making $25.00 an hour, but had to pay child support. I was living on my own up until I was let go from my job of 4-5 years and that is where I'm at now.
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Do you really not know why you broke up? My case he is/was Jewish, I'm not. Really big issue although they weren't practicing and his mother married an Italian man. I had the same bs from other people but not from my family, only his.
I have to say it is so important to meet your partner's family and see their dynamic because that is what they grow up in and become eventually. 
whatever though