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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
There is really nothing to define. When someone wants to "take a break" from a marriage it means they want to have sex with someone else. The question is can the other person live with that?
Right. Or, in my case, they just want out of the marriage but want to ease their spouse into a divorce. Hey, I was 22 and rebounded. Need I say more?
I don't believe in separations. Either you're married or you're not.
But you do believe in hating each other under the same roof! There's nothing less honest than that... And if you think children don't pick up on that, you're underestimating them. Sometimes time apart helps people find their way back to each other or it leads to an honest divorce.
But you do believe in hating each other under the same roof! There's nothing less honest than that... And if you think children don't pick up on that, you're underestimating them. Sometimes time apart helps people find their way back to each other or it leads to an honest divorce.
Actually, I don't believe in that. It just happens that way.
Case in point: the husband of someone close to me left her and although there was never talk of a divorce they were separated (maintained contact) for a few months. They've since reconciled and he confessed during the time apart he slept with someone else.
Thoughts.
You guys were separated, I don't see the problem...
Personally I would take it as cheating. If you're still married and hope to reconcile, then its cheating. If you've seperated and waiting for the divorce to finalize, maybe not so much.
This post is spot on.
OP, what were the conditions of the separation? Were they still trying to work things out? It makes a big difference - trying to reconcile vs waiting to legally divorce.
Case in point: the husband of someone close to me left her and although there was never talk of a divorce they were separated (maintained contact) for a few months. They've since reconciled and he confessed during the time apart he slept with someone else.
Thoughts.
He cheated.
Separation is to get away from abuse or to clear your head to figure out where you want to go with this marriage.
Now if he used the time to clear something else then he has been unfaithful then the marriage is clearly over. It's her choice whether or not she wants to continue in the relationship. The contract was broken.
But you do believe in hating each other under the same roof! There's nothing less honest than that... And if you think children don't pick up on that, you're underestimating them. Sometimes time apart helps people find their way back to each other or it leads to an honest divorce.
I will have to agree with Lucario.
Men do not have the same rights as women when it comes to divorce.
If a guy leaves then he has visitations on every other weekend and every other holiday. Hardly a way to raise your kid. Women have the upper hand.
Some men will stay just to raise their kids. Kids mean the world to alot of men and they WANT to be apart of their lives. If they leave the children can resent them for leaving and never have a close relationship with them.
As for honesty. Children know what is going on sure but they would rather have both Mom and Dad there with them. When one is gone they think it is their fault they left.
You have to feel for guys who are doing their best like Lucario. We love our kids and will stay and suffer but explain to the children that they love them and want to be there for them.
As for honesty. Children know what is going on sure but they would rather have both Mom and Dad there with them. When one is gone they think it is their fault they left.
You have to feel for guys who are doing their best like Lucario. We love our kids and will stay and suffer but explain to the children that they love them and want to be there for them.
It's a vicious cycle, though. The kids learn that those sick marriages are the norm and will have the same relationships later in life. This approach serves more the selfish reasons of the parents than what's really best for the children. And I'm telling you this as a child of parents who, even though they mellowed quite a bit when they got older, probably would've been better off divorced. I probably would've been better off not watching their sort of a relationship as well.
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