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I think there are many great relationships but there are no prefect ones. You are seeing what they project to the outside world. You are not privy to their inner sanctum, the screaming in the mornings about why the toilet seat was left up and the dreaded long silences because the wrong type of bread was bought home from the supermarket
Yep, i wont necessarily say screaming at each other but agree with the overall pt of your post. The wife and I get accused of "being the perfect couple" simply because we DONT air our dirty laundry in public.... Bloody small town bored and nosy people. Cant wait to get the hell out!
Well, 3 pages of this and no one is ever envious? Not to call anyone here a liar, but given the amount of envy that one sees in real life (in many aspects, not just love) I honestly doubt the situation is as idyllic as shown in this thread ...
Maybe many of us are in those happy relationships. Alternatively maybe the rest of us don't bother with emotions like envy and jealousy. I don't know why anyone would be envious of other people's good fortune and happiness. There is so much misery in the world that every little bit of happy endings make you feel positive.
Relationships that work, work because it's a little give and take. They know their partners weaknesses and their strengths. They are willing to compromise. Have patience. Their friends. Companions. They argue then make up. Some may actually love each other. Imagine that.
Well, 3 pages of this and no one is ever envious? Not to call anyone here a liar, but given the amount of envy that one sees in real life (in many aspects, not just love) I honestly doubt the situation is as idyllic as shown in this thread ...
I'm gonna be braver and admit that yes, I sometimes am envious. As we know, sometimes life can be quite unfair and people who did nothing for it just "come across" that what you have been years wanting.
It's been quite better recently, since I have learned to accept the situation and just let life come as it is. But I won't lie: even now, sometimes I wish I could have what some people have.
This is a thread about "happy marriages/relationships" isn't it? Why would I envy anyone....I HAVE one of those marriages, of nearly 30 years. I have nothing to be envious of. It's not perfect, but it's perfect enough for us.
No. I don't know that anyone has the perfect relationship. I know a married man who says their friends say that about them--You guys have the perfect relationship. He says he just laughs inside because after they part company, he and his wife go home to their house. Not home. House. Where they sleep in separate bedrooms and live their own lives outside an occasional dinner with friends. So much for perfect. He told one friend besides me they have separate bedrooms and she was livid. Can't say I blame her but then, why the facade?
Sleeping in separate beds doesnt mean their relationship is awful- for that couple, it works. I actually read a CNN article a few years ago tnat showed a high number of couples do this! The most common reason is because one spouse snores and the other is a light sleeper, or because they have to get up at different times..doesnt mean they dont love each other less- but that sleep is the top priority for them..if it we had an extra guest room in our home, my husband and I would probably take turns sleeping apart just because of snoring issues! different strokes for different folks!
I know a few of my friends (emphasis on FEW as I know many who are content in their marriage but do not have an AMAZING marriage..there is a difference) who have the absolute PERFECT love story... met their soulmate when they were 15 in high school, dated for many years and only got crazier about each other, married in early 20s and now after 15 years of marriage still seem to be absolutely crazy about each other.
I used to think this kind of thing only exists in fairytale books but yet here they are. In my view it is the ideal that most people want but seems so elusive.
Do you have friends like this? If so, are you envious of their amazing luck? Do you think this is just pure luck or is there anything more to it? If you're in your 30s or later and have a checkered relationship past do you attribute it to just bad luck or mistakes that you made?
I am happy for them, and wish them all blessings and happiness, in their relationship together! Have never been jealous / envious of other ppl's good fortune and happiness
I will admit that I have felt rather sad, depressed, and/or discouraged at times in the past, that I was unable to have someone special and loving, in my own life...but this unhappiness was targeted inward, at myself, and never at the happy couple (as I previously saw myself, personally, as a failure and unlovable) But jealousy or malice, towards the happy loving couple? Never!
I used to look for a secret, too, and I think I may have found it. They don't rely on good luck, they make their good luck, at least what is in their power to make. They set themselves up for success.
I agree. They are committed to each other and to making things work and that makes all the difference. But it takes two to make the commitment, one person alone can't do it all and make it work.
I'm clearly envious of those young and good looking folk who *seem* to have a perfect relationship (I'm not jealous of wrinkled grandma's and grandpa 's relationship that's been going on at least since 50 years!), because I never managed (I'm 50 and some now) to have such a relationship-and most probably never will. I believe that people who have that *something special* that makes for a perfect relationship are indeed blessed with a great gift-- and I can't help being jealous!
I am happy for them, and wish them all blessings and happiness, in their relationship together! Have never been jealous / envious of other ppl's good fortune and happiness
I will admit that I have felt rather sad, depressed, and/or discouraged at times in the past, that I was unable to have someone special and loving, in my own life...but this unhappiness was targeted inward, at myself, and never at the happy couple (as I previously saw myself, personally, as a failure and unlovable) But jealousy or malice, towards the happy loving couple? Never!
You bring up such a good point my friend
My life got so much happier and my heart grew to be so much bigger once I made a conscious choice to be happy for anyone else's good fortune.
Being jealous or envious of other people completely diminishes your own happiness, as you are wise to realize
I am happy for them, and wish them all blessings and happiness, in their relationship together! Have never been jealous / envious of other ppl's good fortune and happiness
I will admit that I have felt rather sad, depressed, and/or discouraged at times in the past, that I was unable to have someone special and loving, in my own life...but this unhappiness was targeted inward, at myself, and never at the happy couple (as I previously saw myself, personally, as a failure and unlovable) But jealousy or malice, towards the happy loving couple? Never!
Can't rep you again yet, but spot ON dear Knight!! I can't imagine ever having negative feelings of jealousy or malice toward someone because something good is happening in their lives. I mean, if that person wronged someone ELSE in order to have those good things, yes, I would be upset about that. Why would anyone allow themselves to FEEL negative feelings for someone because something good is happening in their lives?
I too, have felt down and depressed over certain things or events in my life...but it has nothing to do with other people. It's more of a "self-directed" disappointment in myself....that "I" had failed somewhere. Your feelings of loneliness have been quite justified, but then YOU try to make necessary changes in order to better your circumstances!
LM....Bingo! Isn't it amazing how much happier you are when you're HAPPY for those to whom good things are happening!? I look for things to be happy about! I want to be HAPPY. I CHOOSE to be happy....even if it's for other people! At least then, I'm happy, right!? LOL
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Bloody small town bored and nosy people. Cant wait to get the hell out!
different strokes for different folks!
But jealousy or malice, towards the happy loving couple? Never! 
