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I know a few of my friends (emphasis on FEW as I know many who are content in their marriage but do not have an AMAZING marriage..there is a difference) who have the absolute PERFECT love story... met their soulmate when they were 15 in high school, dated for many years and only got crazier about each other, married in early 20s and now after 15 years of marriage still seem to be absolutely crazy about each other.
I used to think this kind of thing only exists in fairytale books but yet here they are. In my view it is the ideal that most people want but seems so elusive.
Do you have friends like this? If so, are you envious of their amazing luck? Do you think this is just pure luck or is there anything more to it? If you're in your 30s or later and have a checkered relationship past do you attribute it to just bad luck or mistakes that you made?
I think there are many great relationships but there are no prefect ones. You are seeing what they project to the outside world. You are not privy to their inner sanctum, the screaming in the mornings about why the toilet seat was left up and the dreaded long silences because the wrong type of bread was bought home from the supermarket
I think there are many great relationships but there are no prefect ones. You are seeing what they project to the outside world. You are not privy to their inner sanctum, the screaming in the mornings about why the toilet seat was left up and the dreaded long silences because the wrong type of bread was bought home from the supermarket
I agree. We have a pretty good relationship, but nothing is perfect, and like you said, it's the outer facade that most people project anyways......
I don't know if I'd say it was envy, but I admired the relationship of two close friends' relationship. There's embodied everything I was looking for: cozy, little house but it was 'home', a dog that loved everyone, they didn't seem to want extravagant/material things, they were affectionate, etc.
They were together for several years and then one day the woman tells me they're finished. I was floored because I saw nothing to indicate a breakup was imminent. I asked what happened because everything seemed perfect. She said they just hid the problems well, they argued constantly, they no longer had the same goals, and that it was brewing for about a year. A year!
Another couple I am friends with went so far as to get married and then divorced a couple of months later. They were together for a few years. The reason given by the woman was that the man had a 'secret' life.
And another couple who did everything together and also seemed perfect had their relationship end recently. When the man explained why I was stunned because the reason for ending it now was the same reason he didn't like her in the beginning (but he chose to overlook it).
I'm not saying perfect relationships don't exist because maybe they do, but...
[what looks great on the outside isn't always indicative of what's happening on the inside]
I have a really good relationship and a great wife of many years. She still amazes me. I feel very fortunate. I don't envy anyone who also has a good relationship.
No relationship is perfect. People looking for that "perfect relationship" will forever be disappointed.
No because I didn't want to be married until I lived my 20s.
you can get married and still live your life. If you meet your soulmate then your life will be 10x better with them in it and that perfect person will not make you feel like you are missing anything. Not quite sure what you mean by "live" though.... are you saying you want to have sex with many different women?
As for one friend of mine, he posted on FB something about his wife's birthday that expressed his undying love for her and I was thinking what man speaks like this after 10 years of marriage...geez, at least I have never heard any man in a long term marriage speak about their wife like this... infact I have heard men only complain to me about how it's such a compromise for them! Suffice to say, I was pretty impressed.
I know a few of my friends (emphasis on FEW as I know many who are content in their marriage but do not have an AMAZING marriage..there is a difference) who have the absolute PERFECT love story... met their soulmate when they were 15 in high school, dated for many years and only got crazier about each other, married in early 20s and now after 15 years of marriage still seem to be absolutely crazy about each other.
I used to think this kind of thing only exists in fairytale books but yet here they are. In my view it is the ideal that most people want but seems so elusive.
Do you have friends like this? If so, are you envious of their amazing luck? Do you think this is just pure luck or is there anything more to it? If you're in your 30s or later and have a checkered relationship past do you attribute it to just bad luck or mistakes that you made?
do I want to find things or thoughts to make myself unhappy over?
no.
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