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I know a few of my friends (emphasis on FEW as I know many who are content in their marriage but do not have an AMAZING marriage..there is a difference) who have the absolute PERFECT love story... met their soulmate when they were 15 in high school, dated for many years and only got crazier about each other, married in early 20s and now after 15 years of marriage still seem to be absolutely crazy about each other.
I used to think this kind of thing only exists in fairytale books but yet here they are. In my view it is the ideal that most people want but seems so elusive.
Do you have friends like this? If so, are you envious of their amazing luck? Do you think this is just pure luck or is there anything more to it? If you're in your 30s or later and have a checkered relationship past do you attribute it to just bad luck or mistakes that you made?
I know a couple who have been together 25 years. Things weren't always perfect, but they have a good marriage over all. Sure, I'm envious. And I'm so happy for them. I hope to get married and live long enough to say I've been married for 25 years.
I'm happy for them. I don't think it's luck. I know they've worked at it.
I know I am the common denominator in my past relationships. I made really bad choices.
I know too much about men to think anyone has a perfect relationship, or at least a relationship I would like to be in. If I see a couple that appears to be perfect, I think "he must be cheating" or something horrible, I definitely don't get jealous...simply suspicious.
you can get married and still live your life. If you meet your soulmate then your life will be 10x better with them in it and that perfect person will not make you feel like you are missing anything. Not quite sure what you mean by "live" though.... are you saying you want to have sex with many different women?
As for one friend of mine, he posted on FB something about his wife's birthday that expressed his undying love for her and I was thinking what man speaks like this after 10 years of marriage...geez, at least I have never heard any man in a long term marriage speak about their wife like this... infact I have heard men only complain to me about how it's such a compromise for them! Suffice to say, I was pretty impressed.
How old are you? You sound pretty young. There is no "perfect person" out there who will make your life 10x better. There are some very good, kind, funny, compassionate people out there and if you meet one and work really hard, grit your teeth through the bad times, relish the good times and honor your wedding vows, you may well enjoy a long and relatively happy marriage.
As far as your friend expressing his undying love for his wife on FB, it's nice of him, but it's really no indication of the health of their marriage. Their marriage may be great, or he may be having an affair, or she may be having an affair, or one or both may be on the verge of bolting for no reason at all. Think of Jesse James, John Edwards, Ashton Kutcher, Arnold Schwartzenegger--all of them proclaimed their love for their wives loudly and often. (Not picking on men--they are just the ones who come to mind.)
You'll never know what goes on inside a relationship so don't bother torturing yourself imagining how perfect someone else's life is. You never know, they may be envying you.
I once knew a perfect couple who had a perfect house in a perfect suburb, two perfect kids, and they had similar perfect friends. Then the wife found out the husband was cheating on her and the whole illusion fell apart.
I never know if someone has a perfect relationship or marriage because you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
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