Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I can't believe some people on this thread are serious.... "couples who watch porn together don't stay together?" (!?) or "once in a relationship, masturbation should not happen.." !??
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at these truly asinine statements.
To all those women who are such controlling, insecure shrews as to think their husbands don't masturbate, then you apparently on living on another planet. And do you honestly believe that your husband isn't masturbating over other women in his mind sometimes? What are you, the thought police? You cannot control another person's erotic brain, nor should you. It's not "cheating" to masturbate, whether porn is involved or not.
And in my experience, almost every woman masturbates after marriage too and thinks about other guys on occasion. Why shoudn't they? And I guess these poor folks who post such nonsense ("porn is cheating!!! Jerking off is punishable by hell!") don't ever engage in mutual masturbation with their partner. Man, what you're missing.
Why? You never think about other people? You can be in a committed and loving relationship and still find other people attractive. It's a purely physical thing, not an emotional one.
One could make the same argument for physically CHEATING on a spouse. If the man only has sex with another woman to satisfy a physical need, and has no emotional feelings for her whatsoever, does that justify cheating? Don't tell me, the deciding factor is whether the wife knows and approves, right? That's fine if it's your opinion, but of course such a couple is still taking the risks mentioned earlier. And in any case, I would think most women who approve of pornography wouldn't approve of their man fantasizing about another woman while they're making love.
To answer your question, no, I never think of someone else while making love to my girlfriend. I find plenty of other women "attractive" in the sense that I think they're pretty, or even beautiful. But that doesn't mean I want to think of them SEXUALLY. There's no point in thinking of someone sexually unless you're about to have sex with them, say I.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
So a guy can have a picture of another woman in his head when he masturbates, but he can't look at an actual picture?!
I wonder how many women don't want their men to look at porn, but read romance novels?
I NEVER condoned a man thinking of another woman while masturbating, nor would I. Surely, you know that you can masturbate without fantasizing about cheating?
And some "romance novels" aren't good to read either. It's an excellent point, and maybe there are some hypocritical women out there like that, sure. I wouldn't doubt that women can be just as unfaithful, physically or mentally.
Sorry folks, but 7 or 8 years is not really a test of the longevity of a relationship. Talk to me when you're at 25+ years.
The bottom line is that watching porn, and especially masturbating to it, is at least on some level marital unfaithfulness. It does not draw two people together as a couple. It temporarily heightens the sexual experience. But why do you need to artificially heighten sex?
High quality, long-lasting marriages include good sex, but they're in no way based on it. Those who base their marriage on sex instead of a good relationship are heading for disaster.
I'm not trying to tell any of you what to do. But I am willing to tell you what is almost certain to happen in the long run.
I can't believe some people on this thread are serious.... "couples who watch porn together don't stay together?" (!?) or "once in a relationship, masturbation should not happen.." !??
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at these truly asinine statements.
To all those women who are such controlling, insecure shrews as to think their husbands don't masturbate, then you apparently on living on another planet. And do you honestly believe that your husband isn't masturbating over other women in his mind sometimes? What are you, the thought police? You cannot control another person's erotic brain, nor should you. It's not "cheating" to masturbate, whether porn is involved or not.
And in my experience, almost every woman masturbates after marriage too and thinks about other guys on occasion. Why shoudn't they? And I guess these poor folks who post such nonsense ("porn is cheating!!! Jerking off is punishable by hell!") don't ever engage in mutual masturbation with their partner. Man, what you're missing.
I can't say it any better than you did, so I'll just quote ya!
And to the last post.... guess what? They guy is probably maturbating to the thought of another woman. Duh. I just don't understand how people think they have the right to control others sexual fantasies.
Do you consider this type of stuff a threat to you?
Sorry folks, but 7 or 8 years is not really a test of the longevity of a relationship. Talk to me when you're at 25+ years.
The bottom line is that watching porn, and especially masturbating to it, is at least on some level marital unfaithfulness. It does not draw two people together as a couple. It temporarily heightens the sexual experience. But why do you need to artificially heighten sex?
High quality, long-lasting marriages include good sex, but they're in no way based on it. Those who base their marriage on sex instead of a good relationship are heading for disaster.
I'm not trying to tell any of you what to do. But I am willing to tell you what is almost certain to happen in the long run.
I was with my spouse for 18 years, not your random number of 25 so I'm sure I won't make your grading scale.
Sorry folks, but 7 or 8 years is not really a test of the longevity of a relationship. Talk to me when you're at 25+ years.
The bottom line is that watching porn, and especially masturbating to it, is at least on some level marital unfaithfulness. It does not draw two people together as a couple. It temporarily heightens the sexual experience. But why do you need to artificially heighten sex?
High quality, long-lasting marriages include good sex, but they're in no way based on it. Those who base their marriage on sex instead of a good relationship are heading for disaster.
I'm not trying to tell any of you what to do. But I am willing to tell you what is almost certain to happen in the long run.
Generally agree, especially with the bold text.
As for the effect of couples watching porn on whether or not they stay together, I think factors balance themselves out (at times). Consider:
1. Watching porn, whether alone or with your partner, carries its risks to the relationship. These are not all exclusive to couples in which the wife isn't aware or approving of the husband's viewing of it.
2. Those couples who watch porn together and stay together are subject to a third factor that increases the likelihood of both: openness, and possibly a sense of humor! Imagine all the jokes you could make about what's on the screen
This is when I turn to anti-pornography points in general, though. It's an unnecessary risk/harm to society, not just relationships. So whether a couple can stay together in spite of their little hobby is largely irrelevant to it being "Ok".
One could make the same argument for physically CHEATING on a spouse. If the man only has sex with another woman to satisfy a physical need, and has no emotional feelings for her whatsoever, does that justify cheating? Don't tell me, the deciding factor is whether the wife knows and approves, right? That's fine if it's your opinion, but of course such a couple is still taking the risks mentioned earlier. And in any case, I would think most women who approve of pornography wouldn't approve of their man fantasizing about another woman while they're making love.
To answer your question, no, I never think of someone else while making love to my girlfriend. I find plenty of other women "attractive" in the sense that I think they're pretty, or even beautiful. But that doesn't mean I want to think of them SEXUALLY. There's no point in thinking of someone sexually unless you're about to have sex with them, say I.
Um, no, there's a big difference between an action and a thought. That's why robbing a bank is illegal, but thinking about robbing a bank isn't.
The things that turn you on aren't always the things you want. Maybe you've got totally white bread sexual desires, but others enjoy many types of fantasies and they're just that, fantasies. How can you cheat in your imagination?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
