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There probably is no such thing as a pleasant adultery case; because names, dates, places, paramours, and the like have to be brought out in the open. If your spouse no longer cares about what you know and is open about the affair, you're lucky. You can then catch your spouse flagrante delicto, which means you have your spouse in the flagrant wrong and may not have to worry about hiring detectives. However, you may still need a detective to prove your case in court. There is still a need for a corroborative witness, such as a mutual friend or neighbor, who has no stake in the matter except telling the court what he (she) witnessed.
Most adultery cases are proven by circumstantial evidence, which means that you have to establish that your spouse had the disposition and opportunity to commit adultery.
Public displays of affection, such as hand-holding, kissing, and hugging, between the guilty spouse and the paramour are generally sufficient evidence to indicate an adulterous disposition. Opportunity may be proven by showing that your spouse was seen entering the paramour's apartment at 11 P.M. and not coming out until 8 A.M. the following morning and that they were alone. If you can only prove disposition but not opportunity, the courts may not allow your divorce because the court may reason that it is just mere speculation. The same is true if you only show that there was opportunity, but cannot prove disposition. When you think about it, this seems to make sense.
My father is a lawyer laura and i cant tell you he has said it is very difficult to actually prove.
[quote=joeclyde;22510502All I have is emails and her intentions.[/quote]
Be careful regarding the emails. If you broke into her email, you could be charged with illegal hacking, which I believe is a felony. Ask a lawyer if you're hoping to use the emails.
which means that you have to establish that your spouse had the disposition and opportunity to commit adultery.
That is what I am counting on. Just last night. She unapologetically admitted that it was her full intent to cheat with him. But he didn't want too.
If push come to shove. I could try and turn one of her friends to admit so. But I would like to keep other people out of it.
She could also counter with you being abusive in court that led her to it. Look...i understand you are hurt, but the marriage was not all that good to begin with. It's best you just take the route and walk away.
I was wondering about that. I read up. Even if she states that it was her intention to cheat. We need a third party to corroborate this as a fact. Since he is married. I am going to assume that he doesn't want to go on record with his infidelity.
Right now. All I have is emails and her intentions.
Talk to an attorney who handles divorces. They might be able use the grounds of adultery. Being it has a potential to be contested it can get real expensive real quick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaKintobor
That is why I say that he should get a video recording and better yet any statements from friends and family who can attest to her cheating.
Call them as witnesses in court.
Get ugly about it and fight for what you earned!
If a man cheated on a woman we would be out for every last dime and taking him to the cleaners.
Men should have the same rights.
Don't get mad! Get even!
Be careful about the blood lust and desire for revenge. You run the real good chance of it biting you in the ass.
She could also counter with you being abusive in court that led her to it. Look...i understand you are hurt, but the marriage was not all that good to begin with. It's best you just take the route and walk away.
She would have to prove abuse which is hard to do.
If you are gonna go and get your money from her that you worked hard for then there is no use in playing nice. Be a **** and drag her friends into it. Get that private investigator. Get that video and audio recording. Get those emails. Drag her ex into it. Make him testify in court. That isn't wrecking his marriage that is saving his wife from living with a real ***** for the rest of her life! Take her for everything she is worth.
Go for it or go home. Oh wait! She wants your home. What are you gonna do about it? Roll over and let her take it? I think not.
Talk to an attorney who handles divorces. They might be able use the grounds of adultery. Being it has a potential to be contested it can get real expensive real quick.
Be careful about the blood lust and desire for revenge. You run the real good chance of it biting you in the ass.
Handle the divorce like a business transaction.
Get the proof of adultry and stick her with your legal bills.
This is not about blood lust or desire for revenge. This is about making sure that what he earned stays with him. That is revenge enough.
She would have to prove abuse which is hard to do.
If you are gonna go and get your money from her that you worked hard for then there is no use in playing nice. Be a **** and drag her friends into it. Get that private investigator. Get that video and audio recording. Get those emails. Drag her ex into it. Make him testify in court. That isn't wrecking his marriage that is saving his wife from living with a real ***** for the rest of her life! Take her for everything she is worth.
Go for it or go home. Oh wait! She wants your home. What are you gonna do about it? Roll over and let her take it? I think not.
Why? Make a clean break. If you seek fees of PI attorney etc the judge can very well say nope, you're responsible for the fees.
So make it clean and simple. Experience says that seeking blood from a stone often doesn't work.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joeclyde
My wife and I have been married for two years. We have no children but we do share a home together.
From the beginning, the married wasn't ideal. We would have periods of poor communication, and no sex. Everyone keeps repeating that the first couple of years are the hardest. So I thought this was how it was.
She went through another one of her low periods over the Holiday weekend. I was basically tired of it. So I decided to check her email. Low and behold. For the entire relationship. She has been in contact with her Ex. They had a rocky relationship. Physical abuse, restraining orders, cheating, and they both were thrown in jail. But she loves him. She has said so in various emails. It seemed that whenever he contacted her out of the blue. It seemed to coincide with one of our relationship miscommunications. Big shock.
It appears over the last couple of months. They have gone on a couple of dates. I confronted her about it. She said they just kissed, and didn't have sex. But in her email. She stated she wanted to get a Hotel room with him and have sex. I guess he had to go home to his wife. So he took a rain check. Plus in talking to her. I started to realize how immature and delusional she is about their "future." Check please!
Anyway. I figured 2 years of BS is not worth saving. So we are in the processes of figuring out how to handle our pending divorce. She suggested that we refinance the home in her name, and she would give me 5k. The home is worth 190k. We owe the bank 185k. But I know that she plans to rent the home out. So basically. She would be getting money from a rental property. So she would be benefiting from cheating on me. If that is the case. I should receive more than 5k for my troubles.
My question is. Should I hold out for more money? Sue her for alimony? get revenge on her ex? Sue her for part of her 401k? Or take the deal and just get out of the marriage as fast as possible?
Bruh, if you can get away free and clear of the house and no financial obligation to her plus a little chum change on top, you are getting a better deal than most men get in divorce court. I'd say get outta this with as little stress as possible.
Why? Make a clean break. If you seek fees of PI attorney etc the judge can very well say nope, you're responsible for the fees.
So make it clean and simple. Experience says that seeking blood from a stone often doesn't work.
Then he can make sure that he gets enough cash from the divorce to cover the fees either way.
Why should this woman be allowed to run off with the things he has worked years to have?
If a woman were in this situation everyone on these threads would be saying to take him to the cleaners.
It shouldn't be different for a man.
Men are more practical and just tend to want to reach an end result that is ok for them. It is that attitude that lets women walk all over them. Men are passive creatures and only fight when they have to.
If a man won't fight for the things he has earned over years then he DESERVES to lose them.
If a man can't be compelled to hold on to things he has labored for then what good is be but as a slave to someone else who would take what he has?
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