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It sounds to me that after 10 years, she is comfortable in having a relationship and does not want to lose it, and he is comfortable in the relationship knowing what he can get away with to be lazy.
Deadbeat? Basically yes, in that it does not appear from the info given that he contributes much to the relationship.
It sounds to me that after 10 years, she is comfortable in having a relationship and does not want to lose it, and he is comfortable in the relationship knowing what he can get away with to be lazy.
Deadbeat? Basically yes, in that it does not appear from the info given that he contributes much to the relationship.
Doesn't it ever make you wonder though what she could possibly be getting from the relationship? I can only imagine what her life will be like once you add a baby to the mix.. all of those pets, a husband that has a history of not being able to hold down a job, she working a full-time job. Yikes.
This is very sad. She is clearly not happy, aware, and cannot get away. If she has a child, the child will see the disregard for the mother and follow the same pattern. Things will be worsened.
This man is not... the good hand picked choice for fatherhood, husband, or even friend as friends do not treat each other without attention to fair co-operation.
The real question is, what is discussed between friends when frustrations , confusions and complaints come to surface.
Well...heres what I would do if I'm understanding the relay with reasonable accuracy. I would when telephoned change my manor to that of being very quiet. Very quiet and reserved especially when the confused complaints or whatever come to surface. Then...I would simply ask things such as ...well how do you feel about that, never judging yourself. This is key....allow her to evaluate even though she wants you to pass some kind of encouragement by evaluating-passing a judgement to her suggesting... saying thats not fair and so forth. Continue with...well how do you feel about that, in a quiet manner...a kind of personality change that she can detect.
We learn through example . The example in your low key quiet way, drawing out her feelings, refusing to evaluate shows an example of discipline. An example which refuse's to allow the bothersome anti-positive clutter congest your otherwise enjoyable day....It is in this discipline through example that she may learn to do likewise....refuse to give this nonsense any more consideration ..... and do what she knows is best....dump the lazy , good for nothing mamma's boy.
I have a friend who has dated a guy for nearly 10 years, she wants to get married and have babies. I know it's useless to say anything to her, because when you wear rose colored glasses and have earplugs in, you don't see or hear anything someone says to you.
She is an excellent worker, very responsible. He on the other hand has had 6 jobs in the past 4 years, currently temporarily unemployed. They have 5 domestic pets that "she" takes care of, as well as doing all of the housework, takes out the garbage, cleans off her vehicle when it snows, does all of the cooking etc., Everyday she obsesses on what she is going to make him for dinner. She is a vegetarian, he isn't. He has recently joined the gym and works out for hours at a time (but can't help out at home). One day she left him a note asking him to please do the dishes, she got home dishes were not done. He shows her little affection. It drives me crazy when she talks about him, how much she loves him... What the heck is she getting from the relationship? Why do women waste their time with these kind of relationships and then to go get married and add a child to the mix.
She's probably getting from the relationship the same thing she saw her mother get from hers....and if she has daughters with this man....the cycle will be repeated.....
I have a friend who has dated a guy for nearly 10 years, she wants to get married and have babies. I know it's useless to say anything to her, because when you wear rose colored glasses and have earplugs in, you don't see or hear anything someone says to you.
She is an excellent worker, very responsible. He on the other hand has had 6 jobs in the past 4 years, currently temporarily unemployed. They have 5 domestic pets that "she" takes care of, as well as doing all of the housework, takes out the garbage, cleans off her vehicle when it snows, does all of the cooking etc., Everyday she obsesses on what she is going to make him for dinner. She is a vegetarian, he isn't. He has recently joined the gym and works out for hours at a time (but can't help out at home). One day she left him a note asking him to please do the dishes, she got home dishes were not done. He shows her little affection. It drives me crazy when she talks about him, how much she loves him... What the heck is she getting from the relationship? Why do women waste their time with these kind of relationships and then to go get married and add a child to the mix.
Stay out of it. If she is complaining to you now wait until she marries him.. Break the chain now... People have the right to do stupid things..
She has no self-respect and doesn't believe she deserves any better.
Pity her.
This.
If it were my friend and she went on about how much she loves him, I would have to look her in the eye and ask "why"?
I would never have children with a man like that...she will end up a single parent with zero help from him.
She is just venting. Listen to her, be her friend and keep your mouth shut. Now, I'm beginning to sound like my wife... Please forgive me.
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Is this guy a deadbeat?
