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My immediate response is this guy is putting the ball into your court. He asked you out twice, and then texted you after a night together to see if you made it home. Perhaps he was just being pleasant, but if he was not interested in you he would have let you do the walk of shame in peace. So, he asked you out twice, then texted you to see if you made it home. He made his moves. Now, my guess is that he was waiting to see if you would take the initiative and text/call him for the third date. Which you did after two days. Perhaps that did not meet his expected level of enthusiasm, and he figured you were not interested, hence the Good question response.
Yeah, it could be. But this is the City Data Relationships Forum, so it obviously means that this guy is a loser
How about we leave the morality police out of this? It never ceases to amaze me how much some people feel like telling other people how to live their lives....especially people they never have nor ever will meet.
She's not living your life.
I don't think it is a brush off. Not responding is a brush off. It is a vague response, but I would bet that its intentions were to see how the OP would respond to it; not a definite "no". Think about it: "haha! good question! :P is a ploy, a hook, to intimidate a response.
Speak for yourself. It is not the 50s anymore. Instead of disecting and making YOUR own interpretations, maybe you should read and see that I said IMO that's what :P means. This why I don't agree with all the texting when people are tying to start relationships.
I agree that a lot gets lost in a text message, but your interpretation of :P is off. It means that the person is joking around, not pulling a joke on you. It is meant to be playful.
And what do you mean by that drunk? I know girls (and men) who fall asleep after one beer, and others who can walk a straight line after a 12 pack. It is what it is, but I suppose it depends on where you live since certain parts of the U.S. are more open and ok with excessive drinking. And no, I am not talking about trailer parks or the ghetto. I am talking about full states/regions.
WTF does this have to do with anything??
You talk about the morality police yet here you are accusing other posters or being negative on what other posters are saying. Get off your high horse. She's looking for advice and that's what she's getting. The OP said herself she got pretty drunk and stayed at his place.
Ugh, that's not a good response. I would move on. Personally, it's Black or White with me. You either want to see me again or you don't. I don't like cryptic messages like that. Bounce on his ass.
You talk about the morality police yet here you are accusing other posters or being negative on what other posters are saying. Get off your high horse. She's looking for advice and that's what she's getting. The OP said herself she got pretty drunk and stayed at his place.
thank you!! why would anyone defend ill behavior no matter the decade?
You talk about the morality police yet here you are accusing other posters or being negative on what other posters are saying. Get off your high horse. She's looking for advice and that's what she's getting. The OP said herself she got pretty drunk and stayed at his place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709
thank you!! why would anyone defend ill behavior no matter the decade?
I am not telling people how to live their lives. And if you cannot see the difference between telling someone their problem was getting drunk and going home with a guy on the first date and pointing out that some people respond differently to drinking than others, and that some parts of the U.S. are more okay with drinking than others; or saying that some men do not see anything wrong with a woman enjoying some booze, then I don't know what else to tell you.
I am not on a high horse, just on a normal-sized horse. I did give advice.
I am not telling people how to live their lives. And if you cannot see the difference between telling someone their problem was getting drunk and going home with a guy on the first date and pointing out that some people respond differently to drinking than others, and that some parts of the U.S. are more okay with drinking than others (is this an actual documented census that can be found on a reliable and trustworthy website or is it simply YOUR OPINION?); or saying that some men do not see anything wrong with a woman enjoying some booze, then I don't know what else to tell you.
I am not on a high horse, just on a normal-sized horse. I did give advice.
You say you're not telling people how to live their lives yet here you are telling other posters how we should respond? Your explanation about drinking and how people respond differently to drinking offers no advice IN MY OPINION. It seems that many people's OPINIONS are similar that it wouldn't be a good idea to get PRETTY DRUNK on the FIRST DATE and go to the guy's place. Maybe that in itself just turned him off after he had a day or 2 to think about it.
I'm not defending ill behavior just pointing out the obvious: some people are okay with some things that others are not. Whether these things are right or wrong are issues that are solely up to the individual. The OP was the only one of us there. Her interpretation of being "pretty drunk" could be different than yours. Or mine. Or his. Or hers.
But that is besides the point, which is that some people see her being so drunk as a negative; as the reason why this guy is potentially not interested in her anymore. That could very well be. It could also be he didn't mind. Or notice.
One of the first times I hung out with my current GF, I got pretty drunk. We had already been friends for some time prior to this, but this was the first time that we specifically made plans to hang out. We went to a party on New Years Eve. On the drive home, in my head, I felt really drunk. So when we got to my place I thanked her for the ride and hopped out.
Later, after we had been a couple for a while, she asked about that night. I told her how I was drunk, knew she was drinking, and didn't want to take advantage of the situation or have her think that I only made a move because I was drunk. She told me that I was acting rather normal. Every time I opened my mouth and spoke to her during the drive home, I was sure I sounded like an idiot. She says she didn't even notice I was that drunk. I definitely did not black out, but her remembrance of that evening was different than mine. I guess I seemed like a normal guy sitting in the passenger seat.
My responses in the Relationships Forum, and on CD in general, are largely based on my on real-life experiences. And I have enough experience to know that people come in all types and what one person deems as unsavory another may not. My posts my be blunt, that is my personality, but I do not spout off things in a manner as how I think things should be, other than some posters need to take some time to understand that not everyone views the world through their eyes.
My interpretation is "haha, good question. P = peace" - he could careless, goodbye OR he probably sent the response intended for someone else to you. Either way, don't worry about it.
You say you're not telling people how to live their lives yet here you are telling other posters how we should respond? Your explanation about drinking and how people respond differently to drinking offers no advice IN MY OPINION. It seems that many people's OPINIONS are similar that it wouldn't be a good idea to get PRETTY DRUNK on the FIRST DATE and go to the guy's place. Maybe that in itself just turned him off after he had a day or 2 to think about it.
My opinion is based on my experiences living in the Upper Midwest for a decade, followed by New England for a few years. Not everyone in these areas drink, let alone drink heavily, but the general population does not look down on such behavior as heavily as someone from say, LA might.
For the record, unless someone has health issues, everyone processes and responds to alcohol in the same manner whether they are drinking their first ever beer, or are a seasoned drinking veteran. The only difference is that the long-time drinker has "learned" how to act while under the influence of alcohol.
My response in question here was in response to a specific comment. If you read above that, you will find my opinion to the OPs situation, who, asked for help in diciphering his text. I gave her that.
Also, I never said that there is not a possiblity that this guy got turned off by her being drunk. Read my first paragraph in my response to the OP. I clearly wrote that it is possible he only texted the next day out of politeness.
I'm not defending ill behavior just pointing out the obvious: some people are okay with some things that others are not. Whether these things are right or wrong are issues that are solely up to the individual. The OP was the only one of us there. Her interpretation of being "pretty drunk" could be different than yours. Or mine. Or his. Or hers.
But that is besides the point, which is that some people see her being so drunk as a negative; as the reason why this guy is potentially not interested in her anymore. That could very well be. It could also be he didn't mind. Or notice.
One of the first times I hung out with my current GF, I got pretty drunk. We had already been friends for some time prior to this, but this was the first time that we specifically made plans to hang out. We went to a party on New Years Eve. On the drive home, in my head, I felt really drunk. So when we got to my place I thanked her for the ride and hopped out.
Later, after we had been a couple for a while, she asked about that night. I told her how I was drunk, knew she was drinking, and didn't want to take advantage of the situation or have her think that I only made a move because I was drunk. She told me that I was acting rather normal. Every time I opened my mouth and spoke to her during the drive home, I was sure I sounded like an idiot. She says she didn't even notice I was that drunk. I definitely did not black out, but her remembrance of that evening was different than mine. I guess I seemed like a normal guy sitting in the passenger seat.
My responses in the Relationships Forum, and on CD in general, are largely based on my on real-life experiences. And I have enough experience to know that people come in all types and what one person deems as unsavory another may not. My posts my be blunt, that is my personality, but I do not spout off things in a manner as how I think things should be, other than some posters need to take some time to understand that not everyone views the world through their eyes.
Simply because "some people are ok with some things that others are not" does NOT make those things alright.
The same thing applies with your comment about "people come in all types."
I am sure that if someone was throwing rocks at your head with the intent to hurt you, you would not defend them just becasue they "think it's ok."
As far as seeing drunk girls in a negative light, the point is that it's potentially dangerous, not at all classy and really self-destructive. I guarantee you the guy "noticed."
I'm not defending ill behavior just pointing out the obvious: some people are okay with some things that others are not. Whether these things are right or wrong are issues that are solely up to the individual. The OP was the only one of us there. Her interpretation of being "pretty drunk" could be different than yours. Or mine. Or his. Or hers. I think that's neither here or there. If she herself thought she was pretty drunk, then it doesn't matter what anyone else's perception of "drunk" is. If she thought she was pretty drunk then perhaps the guy thought so too.
But that is besides the point, which is that some people see her being so drunk as a negative; as the reason why this guy is potentially not interested in her anymore. That could very well be. It could also be he didn't mind. Or notice. Yes, that could be too. So let's put all the drinking and being drunk aside for a moment. Assuming the date went well, would "ha ha..good question :P" seem to be a reasonable and sincere response to girl who is interested in this guy? Personally, I don't think so. I'm not going to generalize all men but let's face it, there are some men out there who will play along and act interested but they won't just be honest and tell a girl up front if they're not interested. If the guy has a busy schedule the next few weeks, why not say the mature thing like, "good question...my work/life/whatever schedule is a little hectic the next few weeks. Let's try to plan something for xx. How does your schedule look?" But that's just me.
One of the first times I hung out with my current GF, I got pretty drunk. We had already been friends for some time prior to this, but this was the first time that we specifically made plans to hang out. We went to a party on New Years Eve. On the drive home, in my head, I felt really drunk. So when we got to my place I thanked her for the ride and hopped out.
Later, after we had been a couple for a while, she asked about that night. I told her how I was drunk, knew she was drinking, and didn't want to take advantage of the situation or have her think that I only made a move because I was drunk. She told me that I was acting rather normal. Every time I opened my mouth and spoke to her during the drive home, I was sure I sounded like an idiot. She says she didn't even notice I was that drunk. I definitely did not black out, but her remembrance of that evening was different than mine. I guess I seemed like a normal guy sitting in the passenger seat.
My responses in the Relationships Forum, and on CD in general, are largely based on my on real-life experiences. And I have enough experience to know that people come in all types and what one person deems as unsavory another may not. My posts my be blunt, that is my personality, but I do not spout off things in a manner as how I think things should be, other than some posters need to take some time to understand that not everyone views the world through their eyes.
Well, I don't know if you can compare your experience with your GF with the OP. You already knew her...you were friends for some time prior to becoming a couple but I'm sure you hung out as friends before the actual "first date". In the OP's case, this was their first date. Personally, I don't think it matters what state or county you live in that determines how drinking might be more acceptable than other states. I think that's just more of a person's belief and personality.
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